Ramblings...

Now Playing: Light My Candle – Rent Original Broadway Cast

Dead tired… Its 2am and I woke up at 7am this morning due to a disgusting spam mail that got my mom all paranoid. Argh. Still very vexed at the thought that I got woke up for a spam mail! Got so mad that I emailed P to do some darn thing to kill off the spammers’ email acct.

Went back to school to attend to a few misc. stuff regarding tmr’s trip and to finish up the lesson plans. Most of the staff are back as it was the 50th Anni concert rehearsal as well as cca day. Met many of the teachers that weren’t around for the past 2 weeks due to marking. Felt very happy : ) I really like the rapport and r’ship that our department share… appreciate it even more after hearing the horror stories some of my friends share about their school. We really care about each other in our department, teasing and helping each other out… I actually sit nearer to the English dpt and we also share a lovely r’ship. They feel more like friends than colleagues… All of them know that I’m flying off tmr and they all teased me, knowing that I’m the type that won’t have packed yet. And when I left for the day, many of them esp “sent” me off with well wishes and requests for stuff from China… felt like part of a family…

Only left the school at near to 5 despite plans to leave earlier… work is always never ending… whenever I go back to school, there never seems to be time to even sit down properly… there’s always people to see, tasks to complete, errands to run… whenever I’m preparing to leave, something else would come up…. But finally got most of the little errands done and the lessons plans completed at stage 1… yes… there’s still a stage 2 waiting for me when I get back…

Met Nekko for Rent at night. Our seats were actually horribly far back… but expected nothing more as we bought the cheapest tix (which already cost 80 bucks!) But the musical was excellent! There were a few screw ups with the lighting and acoustics as it was the first day I guess, but it didn’t detract the quality of the musical. Its still pure power. The music is amazing, all the rage and energy vibrating… We were so far back that I can’t see the faces at all but I still cried when Angel died… Karen Mok was better than I expected too..

Went down to Union Sq. to meet my salsa classmates after Rent… its really insane and I only reached Union Sq. at 1130pm. But I really wanted to dance! And I did manage to dance a lot tonight. Danced mostly with Nick who showed me the new moves he learnt in his two classes of LA style. Danced with few other odd guys that asked and had one dance with our Cuban instructor. The Latinas sang live at about 1am and they were really fabulous. I discovered a quiet room at the back of Union Sq with live singing of ballades. It’s a good hideout when we want a short rest from dancing! Danced for 2 hours till about 130am and Nick sent me back…. Exhausted from the day but its worth it…

But now its about 230 am and I’m due at the airport at 2pm tmr and I haven’t even touched any of my packing yet! Not to mention all the little misc. stuff I have to do before flying… of which I can’t remember any at all…except I know the fact that I haven’t got moisturizer yet…

Still… I’m sleeping first…everything else will have to come later…hitting the bed the moment my hair dries…

workshop completed

3rd day of the workshop.

Qingliang started by sharing some of experiences in using drama techniques for vocational institutes students who are more hyperactive. The idea is to be flexible and to do something that they can identify with. What he used was to ask them to do an action or an image for every hour of the day and a mood/hour demographic graph.

从他们的剧象/动作中，找出他们的问题。

QL kept reminding us not to do psycho-analysis. We are not psychologists. Too often, teachers see a problem and rush to take over and solve it. No, what we should do is to seek the problem, uncover it for the students to see, take a step back, and allow the students themselves to solve it. Sometimes, we don’t even need to know what the root of the problem is, as long as the students themselves know… that’s enough…they are the one that would know what to do… not us.

5 roles of a teacher
- 操控者（尤其操控节奏）
- 参与者（施与受的平衡）
- 引导者（提问的技巧）
- 扮演者（地球妈妈的例子，教师扮演妈妈，让学生问）
- 观察者（聆听的重要性）


The activities and games aren’t there to arouse interest. They are there to create 冲突。 激发学生，挑起他们的身心意。We should never use the games juz to arouse interest… All the games have a certain element of danger. That’s becoz that’s life. Games reflect life… and in every game, we see a miniature society…

游戏往外fox 往内net

Games of the day:
- Couple up with one blindfolded and the other making a sound. Seek the other by sound - >emphasis on the process,
- 1,2,3…..+1 game. For every one in the group to say one diff number without setting a plan beforehand -> emphasis in 默契/节奏
- Dream sequence 冥想 using the vocab from a text -> coupled with music and imagination. .. it quiets the class down.
- >They might play a fool and not take part, but some part of it will go in
to them subconsciously… - 最珍贵的宝贝 vs. 扶持你的人：对比
- Magnetic Image. Use a short play to express your feelings of the 3 day course
- > ideas brought out by others’ play… what do one give up for teaching?

Tableaux
Grp 1: intertwined hands of yesterday

Grp 2: Image
Ideal -> real step by step.
Use Internal Monologue before asking them to use 2 words, color, sound to express their thought. Ask them to make the sound in the end. 内心独白的酝酿再表达。 声音更能把情绪表达出来 – 是创作的起点

Give 3 wishes to each of the participants to change the image.

Grp 3: Image
Ask the audience which who do they identify with in the image and to join them in the same pose. Then do a mass monologue. Ask “I want…?”
寻找共鸣点。 群体运作。观众进入画面，不再有观众，画面不再单独。
压迫者教学法-〉非个人，而是社群互助。
听了大家的独白后，深化原来摆画面的人的内心，累积了全部人的独白。
再启动一个人去改变画面（画面的主体）
改得不真实？问观众能否接受。 Reverse forum technique
Dropping to the universe – freeze the image/action and ask his emotions/thought. Going from subjective to objective


Grp 4:
Ask “What are you afraid of? …Why?...” Peeling off the onion layer by layer
To seek the fear and the root of the fear. (go back and write, why are you afraid as the role)

Tableaux
- uses many diff technique
- centers around “ what I want”/ “what I fear”
- 欲望和恐惧
- 彩虹的欲望与恐惧 – 多色多层，两者交战
- cops in the head – 以不同的技巧拨开剧象的多层面
- remember to do it progressively... from want to fear, going deeper step by step
- Never assume you understand the tableaux
- Honour every word
- STOP. LOOK.THINK.TALK
- Aternative: Boxing match. Lots of action with the audience coming up to give the roles ideas in what to do. Eg. Mom/Daughter fight
- HW: write letters/reflection and exchange them the next day. Online Blog


Importance of rituals:
Starting the day off sitting in a circle and ending the day off sitting in a circle and doing a monologue.
Rituals give a sense of completeness and security

Way to break thru the first sense of awkwardness ：Doing pair tableaux. One person to use the other to form his/her image. No ownership and thus no awkwardness?

戏剧课常用的就大策略
1．热身游戏
2．剧场游戏（训练听、看、集中力、合作关系）
3．角色扮演：学生入戏、教师入戏
4．剧象
5．思路追踪
6．坐针毯
7．过程戏剧 & 专家外衣 Process Drama
8．论坛剧场 – 不同人上前取代角色解决问题

庆亮问了我们一个问题
我们在备课时，看的是一个礼拜，还是一年？
我们看学生时，看的是一年还是一生？
我们是在备知识，还是备生命？
我们是以教师的角度看，还是学生的角度看？

我的问题：我是在用心教书。但我有没有将心比心地以想过学生要的是什么？
我知道，太多时候，我只看一个礼拜，没看一年。
反思时，思绪太乱，我说不出什么。但一个老师说，我在扮演剧象时，无意间说出了一句话。庆亮问我怕什么，我说怕课永远无法上完。为什么？怕无聊。为什么？没意义。
没意义。我们有没有想过。上一堂课的意义在哪

NYC plans...

Woke up with my back aching… so looking forward to tonight’s pilates class. Haiz. Getting old liaoz… nowadays always back ache neck ache like that..

P morning called me this morning, reminded me of some things I’ve been neglecting for the states trip… jotting them down to remind myself.

- Find a salsa place to social on the 1st night of the 4th at NYC
- Find a play to watch on the 7th
- Settle the tickets for Brokeback Mountain/Rent on the 9th
- Find out if I need to sign up for the workshop on the 13th and sign up for it
- Settle the bus tickets to and fro from NYC and Boston
- Cash in the darn usd check!

Now… a rough guide of the itinerary… mostly for P

4th – Land, meet P, check in at Jazz on the Park. Dinner at Live Café, Salsa, send P off
5th – Brooklyn Bridge and Heights in the day, Chelsea Art Galleries, Comedy Cellar
6th – Wicked at night. Don’t remember what in the day…museums/east village?
7th – Don’t remember what in the day again… watch a play at night and leave for Boston
8th – at boston.
9th – watch brokeback mountain/rent
10th – watch brokeback mountain/rent
11th – Mom arrives/Salsa social
12th – bring mom about boston
13th – bring mom about boston… salsa workshop at night
14th – P have exams/bring mom about boston
15th – Leave for NYC… Strand. Watch Woman in White
16th – don’t remember what in the day… watch In My Life at night
17th – Fly back to S’pore

Hm. A lot of empty days that are probably in Lew’s planner… or any reccs on what to do? Any recc for a good play to watch in NYC too? I don’t want any more musicals…Also need a recc on a good place to salsa in NYC…

xenbar

Now Playing: 逍遥叹 - 胡歌

Tired....Today was the last day of the course and I really should type my notes out... but my bones feel like liquid...

Met Fen for dinner just now. She had lots of work due tmr, but I still pulled her to xenbar for a hour of dancing... She's way too kind as she said... Haven't seen her for a year, apparently she went thru another r'ship... but she's still the same girl I met back in jc... sometimes, life works in ways we can't understand... and we take more detours than we want. but as long as things work out in the end... everything will end up alright... hope things work out for you faster...

Xenbar is way smaller than I expected... cosier somehow. 7 bucks for a hour of dancing is abit steep... esp when we spent 1 hour waiting first... but its an alternative when I can't make it for jitterbugs's friday social and still want to keep to my at-least-once-a-week dance resolution. And guys there take the initiative to ask girls to dance! Danced with almost all the guys there and I don't spend as much time waiting in between dances as I do at Jitters.

Back to school again tmr and friday... back to work.. (somehow the 3 day workshop doesn't feel like work at all!). Feeling slightly despondent. Well... at least there's Rent on Friday to look forward to!

2nd day of course...

Now Playing: My Confession - Josh Groban

2nd day of the course. Today’s activities were lesser than yesterday’s, but dug much deeper. Qingliang talked about the connection between Drama and Life, how Drama *is* Life. Without life, there won’t be any Drama. Drama, also known as Play, of how the games we played were really mini-plays in action.

Indeed, today is a day of reflection. As I said, its really a good refresher course. Through the day, I’m reminded of the me I was before I truly started teaching, the inspirations I had. I remembered the film, “To Be or To Have”, the play, “The Taboo Games of Youth” and Dr. Ng’s course. I remembered the line. “我们是教人，不是教书”. The nurture and values. And thinking back the last few weeks of school when I was rushing to finish the syllabus and preparing the students for ‘O’s, focusing on systems and methods and cramming as much info as possible into the students’ mind. The disappointment I felt when they were so much more interested in playing than studying… How much do we neglect and forget?

今天，庆亮说创作就是质疑。戏剧就是质疑。只有质疑才能打破惯性，才会有新的体会，才会学会珍惜。但，在进入教书后，我却忘了质疑，也忘了教学生去质疑。

Notes on today’s classes:

- Fox in the hole –fun! Emphasis on the changes, esp role changes
- Usage of the space and area, deliberate positioning and placing affects the environment. Something I neglect to use in both classroom and cca… how you place and position yourself do have an effect
- Most un/comfortable and powerful/weak position and place reveals yourself
- To heal psychology and understand pple’s psyche/reasons through drama- monologues, tableaux –sculpture feelings
- Sculpture through tableaux –> something that really can be used in essays- 1st Description -> from 客观 to 主观. Describing first objectively than subjectively. Builds their description skills.- 2nd 戏剧性/故事性 of the tableaux. 立体化. Adding lines and to think of the story behind. There’s lots of area for creativity. To give a line and shape and color of the unseen, eg. Vision, air- to go from 1D (Qns) to 2D (pic) to 3D (sculpture)- possible to get the students to do a tableaux from the essay qns and then to build stories from the tableaux? 以塑像诠释题目，再由塑像诠释故事, going thru the description and story- going from ICONIC (符号) to SYMBOLIC (象征) to METAPHORIC(意象) = scaffolding
- Web game (running blindfolded into a web of hands) – overcoming one’s own fears and self preservation instinct. To deal with one’s fear and to stand by your decision
- 希望教学：“我要…” – Idealism vs. Realism- used monologue and reflection again.内心独白 - one grp’s did a play on surface support and hidden agendas…互助变束缚　

- Prompt: 5W+1H

- Image Theatre

A lot of teachers really reflected at the end of the class. Can see that the class truly made a difference to a lot of our lives. Its not the normal workshop we go to when we sign up at trasci… and its not just the games that makes the difference.

Its been raining for the whole day today...

《发如雪》

《发如雪》，方文山的词。那天读阿萍的部落格时，看到一句“我焚香感动了谁”，触动我去找这首歌来听。没想到，是这么动人的歌。昨天去木船，明知这首歌难 唱，一时贪玩点了。民歌餐厅的歌手抱怨说唱了会吐血，但却唱得很用心，似乎比原唱者还好。原来只为歌词惊喜，但在那时却真的爱上了这首歌。

听说这首歌是先有词再谱曲。好久好久没看到这么好的词了。一首词，写得那么美，那么深情，那么传神。从那一句“我举杯饮尽了风雪”起，整首歌就染 了一层淡淡的沧桑。仿佛是一段牵扯了千年的恋，如今伊人早已云鬓生雪，不知是朝青暮雪或岁月留痕，总唤不回原来的红颜绝色。但早说过，弱水三千，只取一瓢 饮。在男子眼中，看到的依旧是那最初扎着马尾，无邪的脸蛋。只是几世轮回，这番坚持，究竟苍老了谁？是冤是孽，又有谁参得透这一个“缘”字？

而其实，一段月光涤清的回忆，又有多少真实多少梦幻？

整首词用的意象都带着一丝古意与无奈，梁祝化蝶、焚香祈月、醺酒度日、映镜愁发、碑文留誓。眼前浮现一位挽着髻的女子，一颦一笑都只为一个人。挽起青丝，挽不起情思。等待一生，换来一句“你若撒野，今生我把酒奉陪”，应该也无憾吧。

Drama course and notes...

Now Playing: 昨天 - 梁静茹

Just got in and falling asleep over the keyboard, but wanna write some notes about today’s course before I forget…

I found today’s course a good refresher course… after teaching for half a year, somehow, I forgot what it is like to be a student, the easiness of it, simply taking in all the teacher has to give, the joy of learning…

Actually, a lot of what is touched on today is stuff that we learnt back in the drama technique course in NIE, but of coz, there’s always something new to learn. 温故知新. To learn from revising the old. Plus the fact that I realized I actually forgot a lot of what I learnt back than… after been caught up in the daily grind of teaching. And Qingliang’s class is always fun, filled with games. All of us are teachers, and more than half teachers that have been teaching for more than a few years, but all of us were like kids again when playing the games…

Some notes on the games:

- Push/Pull – which do you like best? Trust issues
- 1,2,3 tongue twister – gets progressively harder with sounds and actions
- Angel/Devil – good for doing reflection on choice and prejudice
- 7 doors – erm, too loud. Not a good idea to do in class
- Blind guiding (stepping back and forth) – trust issues
- Seeking hand/Vampire – more blindfolded games. Not really suitable but good for doing reflections afterwards
- Tableaux/Image – solo and multiple, very workable on training creativity and observation skills
- Image construction/modeling (line up in 2 rows) – good for training observation skills and memories. And kids will love it for the chance to sabotage friends as we did today!

Tableaux is a very good idea which I remember making a note of back in NIE, but forgot all about when I started school. Hm… pictorial image would also be a way to work it in. Kinda similar to the changed ending idea that I did, except this will be using visual stimuli instead of words.

Qingliang touched on the issue of edging in which I found thought provoking. A lot of times, I find myself making subconscious decisions to stay in my comfort zone instead of taking steps to change the environment around me… hiding instead of facing… hmm…

Praxis: Action + Reflection. Too often, language lessons focuses too much on reflection without action…

K, that’s enough of the course… Met JX after the course today and we went to the Ark for dinner. The Monday group turned out to be a pleasant surprise. The vocal instructor that I went to check out was very impressive. Its not so much his technique which was good, but the fact that he sings with genuine feelings….it makes one really sit up and listen when he sings… Also, there was a female singer that actually knows all the folk music that I asked for and almost sang every single one of my requests :p The group has a lot of chemistry as well and works well together. Not to forget, the company was wonderful as well : ) Its always lovely to meet up with Jx…. he really gave me a shock when I saw him all dressed up for his interview. We are so different from when we first met all the way back in jc… all the changes and different stages of life… We don’t meet all that often any more due to work and life commitments, but he remains the only guy friend I’m totally comfortable with; somehow, we’ve been through so much and seen each other through the years… He’s someone I know would understand me no matter what decisions I make and someone I know who will still be my friend no matter what changes in my life… And he had some great news today as well! Congrats again : ) You deserve it and I do hope all goes well for you.

And now, as someone reminded me… I have to wake up at an unearthly hour again tmr… so its off to bed…

Upcoming stuff...

Now Playing: Good Night - Emi Fujita

The upcoming week is another busy one… with 3 full day courses from Mon to Wed on drama technique. Starting at the unearthly hour of 830am. A reason why I really should go to bed when I finish this entry. Now old liaoz… can’t do late nights without repercussions. Not that that’s stopping me…

Back to school again on Thursday for the last few details for the China Immersion Trip. Have to figure out a way to inform all the kids to come back on Thurs. Seeing how I left the contact list in school, it seems to be an impossible task. Except I have one of them on my msn list. (And I just missed him!) Now to cross my fingers and hope he comes online tmr.

Haiz. I’m flying on Sat and I haven’t done anything to prepare yet. Bags unpacked, Currency unchanged, necessities unbought. I’m such a very bad example. And I have activities lined up every single night for the remaining five nights. All planned to end around midnite except for Pilates and dinner with Xuan on Thursday.

Which reminds me, my last pilates class left me with aching muscles that screamed at me that regular classes are a necessity. God, 3 weeks of missing class is something I should never repeat. But I’m going to miss 4 straight classes after this week! The class after that is not a class I’m looking forward to….

And not to mention the NYC trip. Flying the very next day at 4am after I land and I still squeezed a play in between. My dad thinks I’m better off doing hara-kiri. Lew came back on Mon to plan the trip. I managed to find salsa clubs and a workshop to attend in Cambridge as well. P says he can make plans to be in NYC on the 4th itself as he’s doing a interview in NYC on the 2nd anyway. The tentative plans look good, now to find a time to cash my usd check.

Managed to catch up with this incorrigible brother of mine as well. He leads a way more interesting life than I do! I envy his free and easy uni life…Of all my past years, the uni years were definitely the best…

Bought 5 cds recently in a mad cd-shopping spree… Includes a 4-cd salsa set which gives me no excuse for not practicing at home. Also bought Corrinne May’s cds, was recently introduced to her songs and I love her heartfelt lyrics and simple melodies. The feelings just seems so real and the lyrics rings true. Also bought a Chinese folk singer 2-cd set. Originally wanted to just pirate the cds off Shuhui who said she’ll be buying them and I wasn’t so sure I’ll like all his songs. (just wanted that one song). But in the end, decided to just show support for the local folk music scene. After all, his efforts in upholding the Xin Yao spirit is worth the support.

And now… iTunes is playing “Good Night”…. Even my music collection is telling me to sleep…

“Now’s the time to say good night… good night, sleep tight….”

Talks, musicals and films...

Now Playing: Beneath a Rowan Tree - Emi Fujita

I seem to keep digressing! At this rate, I won’t ever finish this update.

Ok. Must stick to the topic. My recent activities.

Went to two academic seminars. The first was by Anthony Yu on religion and politics. For the seemingly uninteresting title, it was turned out to be quite fascinating, esp the Q&A in the end when Prof Yu got quite passionate. The topic brought back memories of the Buddhist text studies module I did back in my honours year. The lecture was chock-full of info and thought-provoking. In comparison, Prof Yuan’s lecture Classical Poems and Life was more relaxing as it was aimed at the masses but no less inspiring. I really miss academia… the lectures, the mind-exercise and the pure scope and area of knowledge… Will have to keep an eye out for more of these lectures in the future.

Next, my films and musicals!

Went to two musicals. First was A Twist of Fate with Dr. Lin. My mom was commenting on the unlikely friendship one builds with one’s prof. But Dr. Lin and I really hit it off. We never seem to stop talking whenever we meet up and we have similar tastes. She also learnt salsa and its such a pity that ATOF ended so late and we couldn’t go for social. The musical was incredibly fun though with all the funny plot twists and turns. The ending was certainly unexpected althou cliché when one thinks back. My favorite song was the one between Emma and Richard, althou Emma Yong and Ah See’s couple was hilarious as well.

Also watched Theatre Practice’s Lao Jiu with my mom who had the advantage of understanding the background and speaking the dialect. Went in without expectations becoz Lew gave it such a awful review. But I liked it. The male actor for Lao Jiu was cute and not a bad actor. My 1st row center seat allowed me to catch all the fleeting expressions. I admit, the actors aren’t great singers and even the lyrics could be better. As a musical, its not really up to standard, but still, its not all that bad. The plot was moving and had me in tears at one point when the Dad expressed his hopes whereas Lao Jiu expressed his unhappiness of being trapped. Enjoyed all the comic parts as well. Lew was even more critical when we talked about it, but as long as I come out from a play knowing I enjoyed myself and took some thoughts away, I would think it was a good play…

Will be watching Rent this Friday with Nekko. Now that’s one play I’m really looking forward to. Esp with all the trouble I went into to change the tix after Tuesday’s show was cancelled!

Also caught two films. The first was Cold Showers. A French film which was… hm…different? The ménage a trois scene was erotic…but the film itself overall was well crafted and deftly executed. The male protagonist was esp. good. The complex feelings a teenager has and the troubles one faces at the point of life was all subtly expressed… The way he went into the relationship and the jealousy and anger he had later… the regret and hunger… it was all so true and real. I only didn’t like the part at the end when he broke down in the dressing room… that seemed slightly overboard…

The next film is naturally HP/GOF! Caught it on the very first day, sneak preview, with Sher. We couldn’t wait another day :) I can’t imagine watching HP with any one else. No one would be able to understand our language! We were grabbing each other at the impt h and d scenes. And the scenes and relationships we highlighted and gushed on was definitely not what other people would expect. Watching it with another one else would be so much less fun and fulfilling. I liked the film althou it seemed like a fast-forward version of the book and a waste of all the good sets. Hope that the dvd will come out with a whole slew of deleted scenes incorporated in. And god, the kids are growing up on us! Dan Radcliffe is so hot. And Cedric is way better than I expected. The chemistry between the actors are tangible. Emma Watson is a whole new person altogether. But I still dislike Ron.

Also wanted to watch Saving Face with Shufen coz a friend strongly recc-ed it. Made the date with Shufen only to discover that its no longer showing! Argh! Why??? Now I can only wait for the dvd... does anyone have it???

Procrastination and Friends

Now Playing: All that I Need - Corrinne May

ok. I've established the fact that I can't work. Supposed to write up a lesson plan today, but after spending the entire day at home... I haven't written a single word. Argh. Sometimes I don't know what's wrong with me. I have all the info on my fingertips, but I juz can't get up the motivation. Is it becoz my subconscious don't want to work on a Sunday? Hm. So I spent today as I spend a typical Sunday… slept late. Went online and messed around. Went on msn for the first time in months. I got the salsa videos of the workshop I did in oct last nite and I bought a salsa cd recently, attempted to teach my mom some basic salsa steps coz I’ll be bringing her along for salsa social nights in NYC and Boston. Had a lot of fun :) Didn’t manage to do social this Friday coz the musical ended late so the practice is good.

Since I can’t work, might as well continue with the update. Hm. On social, I only managed to do it once in the last two weeks! That’s not very good. Went with Yee Pern and he brought his gf along! Haha…he finally got himself attached with a girl willing to take him in. Am happy for him except that he only told me 4 months after the fact! But he made it up by introducing us today. Both of them learn at ADS and somehow our styles are very different. But its still fun :)

Been bringing different friends to the Friday social nights…But I missed a few Fridays and will be missing the next one too due to Rent. I really should do more to practice else by my next salsa class in Feb, I’ll be utterly useless. I only recently realized how many of my friends do salsa. Going with Weifen to Xenbar next Wednesday, a new place for me. Wonder how it will turn out. Hopefully, there won’t be as many smokers as Union Sq.

Haven’t seen Fen for a year now. Met up with Xiaogua on sat as well with her boyfren. Also haven’t seen her for a year! But it was as if it we only met last week with the rate we chatted non-stop. That’s the beauty of old friends I guess. We know each other so well, the time doesn’t matter anymore and it just seems to stop for us. Feelings don’t change and our inner personalities and quirks remain the same. Its like how Lin can go into Macs, call me and ask me what I want, and when I said nothing, she hangs up and orders nuggets instinctively, knowing that I only eat the nuggets in macs and that I only said nothing becoz I had something on my mind. The comfortable feeling on being with an old friend…. Some things just don’t change…especially friendship built up over years… can’t believe I’ve known some of these people since I was 6… the way I don’t have to be anyone else but myself when I’m with them… I just feel so blessed…

Recent Life...

Now Playing: Everything in its Time - Corrinne May

The past week has been activities-filled...plays, talks, films, dance and music cafes...

A short record...

Been going to the Ark quite often... went with Gabriel, Shuhui and Yijing the first time. Two different group of friends?! Called Gab and Shuhui and didn't expect both of them to agree readily. And Shuhui asked Yijing along and Gabriel originally wanted to bring another guy friend. Made me feel like I was matchmaking! But it turned out quite fun, Gab always mixes well even when he's meeting new people. Within the hour, he was spilling my deep, dark secrets, git that he is :)

Went down to sign up for vocal classes, my new year resolution of making myself as busy as possible. But we did enjoyed the tuesday group. They were pretty good although they had the curse all folk music singers have of making awkward jokes. They had a good repertoire and actually know most of the songs we asked for which is new. Usually when Shuhui and I go to music cafes like Music Dreamers, we can’t get more than half the songs we ask for coz we always ask for the obscure ones that they never heard of before. But this group actually do know a lot of the folk songs and even know the sbc themes! Not bad. Tuesday is a good nite to visit the Ark. That was also the last week the Ark would be at their old site at Apollo Centre and I’m glad I managed to catch at least one night at this place.

Went next Thursday again with XP coz she wanted to support her instructor. The grp wasn't as good though her instructor was good. For one, this group is one that again doesn’t know more than half the songs I asked for. Another was probably becoz it’s a new location and the system wasn’t set up properly yet. Will be going down again on Monday with JX to catch the other vocal instructor. Hope the system is set up properly by then. Looking forward to seeing JX as well. He’s taking the time out from studying for exams to meet up with me before I fly off.

Eh, this isn’t all that short. Will go do some work now and do the others later.

streaks and scribbles...

Now Playing: Let it Go - Corrinne May

Always had a notebook with me for scribbling since I was a kid, or I would scribble on scrap pieces of paper everywhere...

I do have a journal elsewhere for entries that are more.. hm... well thought out? But I hardly have any time for well-thought entries anymore... so decided to set up a journal for scribbling short records of my life and streaks of odd thoughts... hence... streaks and scribbles....

润物细无声

星期六听了袁行霈教授的《古典诗词》讲座，谈了许多词句，其中都是一些极好的名句佳词。但不知为何，脑海里只记得浅白的《春夜喜雨》中一句“润物细无声”。

《春夜喜雨》一诗，我教文史课时曾教过。记得当时，也没花多少时间。教的也多属技巧，谈的是诗眼，用词的恰当与传神。内容，只简单带过，因为一读即了。

但，这几天，却一直反复想起这一句，和袁老师的那一句感叹。“润物细无声啊，润物不难，但要做到细无声，却不容易。”

其实是最简单不过的道理，只是知易行难。记得，我在和学生讨论《春夜喜雨》这一个题目时，问他们，题目中最重要的一个字是什么。聪明的学生马上回答： “喜”。不错，一个“喜”字，带出整首诗的感觉。但，我却忽略了“无声”这点，把重点放在了受益者身上，忘了施福者的默默付出。

人，往往如此。其实，很多道理我们都懂，但却在日常生活中忘了。不由得对自己的遗忘感到失望。但也记得，我曾跟学生说过，尽管我们也许做不到，但我们也要知道，真的有这么真，这么善良的人存在，因为这是一个希望。对人，对生命的希望。

真的，有人是“润物细无声”的。

《金枝欲孽》

刚刚看完三十集的《金枝欲孽》，心里有些怅然若失。戏中人的聪明与悲哀，刻画的似乎就是每个女子的命运。皇后、如妃、尔淳、安茜，个个都如此机智，但千计算尽，所谋的，却并非她们心中所想要的。到头来，却都显得如此悲哀与无奈。

人，其实再聪明都好，只要看不清自己心中真正想要的，做得再多，再好，都没有用。可惜，又有谁能真的看透？原来，并非聪明人好。追求一生，到底求的是什么？墙内墙外，又有什么分别？

10月31日终于过了，自己终于能够稍微喘一口气。休息一下。但，前些日子真的太忙了，现在忽然松了，竟感到十分不自然。从8月开始就忙着改卷子，期中、期末到模拟考，一直没停过，现在忽然无需熬夜改卷，竟然反而不想睡了。人，真的爱自虐。

人活着，要开心，真的很难。但还是要尽力，不是吗？

安排了一系列的节目，包括看电影，话剧，跳舞，和朋友叙旧，还买了一大堆书等我吞噬。年底还有雪景和平的疼爱等着我，务必让自己在忙碌的工作袭来前，能有多开心就有都开心。

其实，归去时，回首向来萧瑟路，也无风雨也无晴。一切，又何必太在意？

心念·心变

好久没这种恬静的感觉了。带了一堆卷子，呆在一间小小的，明亮的咖啡馆内，一边批改，一边吃。选了一个靠窗座位，闲闷之余，便抬头观看往来的人群，晒晒日光。一天下来，发呆的时间比批改的时间多。但真得很舒服，因为时间是属于自己的。

仿佛回到了学生时代，在北京的时候。那时，经常自己带了功课，独自躲到一间自己喜欢的咖啡馆，就在哪儿呆一天，名义上是为了找个安静的角落读书，其实，发呆的时间总是比较多。

日子，在自己的掌握中。

想念，但却不知道究竟想念什么。往日的悠闲？自主？清纯？不知道。只知道，我最近，一直在想念着一些什么，却捉摸不着。

我们回不去过去的岁月了。终于有了这份认知。那日，碰到一个高中同学，十分开心，上前打了招呼后，却发现两个人，竟然已毫无话题。是谁变了？还是，只是岁月？

工作已没有什么开心不开心。就是来了，就做。不再愿意放下太多感情。有时忙碌了一天后，什么也不想。 往日的理念，与其说忘却，不如说沉淀了。

人，都要变的。但，可否不让我知道？

rushed...

School’s starting again and I’ve not prepared anything! So what else is new…Back home for a week and New York seems like a long and lazy dream… 4 weeks just blinked by…

Touched down on Sunday night and I’m back to school on Monday morning to prepare for the Bicultural Course that the students didn’t want to attend. But it afforded me my first “close” contact with my form class, they seem like quite a happy-go-lucky bunch, very vocal and mischievous, the boys coming up to me to ask if they can skip the 2nd day of the course because “its so boring!” and the girls laughing at how I cannot remember their names and have to ask them repeatedly whether they have taken their attendance or not. But upon reading the reflection letters they wrote for their poor performance in their mid-year, their sunny appearance seems to be hiding a lot of underlying resentment… the pressure and lack of motivation adding to their stress…

I don’t know how I can help them, being so inexperienced that I often can’t catch what my responsibilities are as a form teacher, thank goodness I’m surrounded by so many helpful teachers that often take the trouble to explain what I’m supposed to do in detail after they made the official announcement. And that’s just the admin stuff, I don’t know how I can help them in the way they need me too…I just hope I won’t let this class down…

Spent the days in school and the nights in town for this last week of holiday, caught up with a couple of friends before school work whirls me away and caught 3 films too.

Monday was the hilariously funny Korean My Boyfriend is Type B with Lin, had a very relaxing time with the de-stressor movie and calming company. Girl, we have to meet up at least once a month no matter how busy we are ok? Being with you is a necessary therapy for me…

Wednesday was the strangely erotic Eros, a 3-short-films-in-one movie that I very much did not understand. Watched is with Shufen and I’m really very apologetic about the movie choice. Wong Kar Wai’s film was still ok, his nostalgic style unmistakable, but the remaining two has a very weird tone to it that wasn’t very enjoyable. But it was wonderful to meet up with Shufen after the long break, except that I was too tired to hold up my end of the conversation after the first day of the course…

Thursday was the moving Be With You or いま，会いにゆきます, a very sweet heartbreaker with breathtaking shots of sunflower fields and the most adorable little boy ever. The courage it takes to embrace love, despite knowing inevitable death lies ahead. Caught it with Mei who sadly isn’t as touched as I was, the pragmatic girl she is. She’s the one that always brings me back down to earth when my head is still in the clouds.

And the weekend arrived and it’s back to the books, as the whirlpool that’s my job takes me away once more… might not surface until the September holidays…

A Day of Museums...

One good thing about summer masquerading as spring is the wonderful sunny weather one gets to appreciate the colorful riot of spring blossoms. Visited the Cloisters on Tuesday and the bountiful flowering gardens are a wonderful sight, set against the glittering East River and green lawns. The peaceful terrace gardens and monasteric exhibits give a sense of calmness… Cloisters is a branch of the Met, a museum that contains bits and pieces of various medieval monasteries and chapels, including 4 different cloisters, private monastery gardens surrounded by covered walkways. The gardens are meticulously kept, the gardeners actually tries to use only medieval plants! After visiting 4 museums on Friday, I rather enjoyed the gardens, flowers in every shade of the rainbow and the textures and scents…

And yes, I did 4 museums on Friday, in one day… Museum of Sex in the morning which was quite an attack of the senses, the Frick Collection in the afternoon, and the Guggenheim, which I visited more for the architecture, and lastly, the Asia Society which was quite a non-entity.

The best stop of the day was the Frick Collection, the collection of one very wealthy man with very good taste set in a beautiful house. The whole style is similar to the Gardner in Boston but even better. Gardner had a cluttered feel to the place somehow, but Frick's collection is extremely well arranged, every room is artfully done in a way that all the paintings and sculptures and design meshed together for a very cohesive feel. I love all the rooms, from the stately living room to the very male library. Esp love the drawing room with the Fragonard paintings, The Progress of Love (very sensual and very sweet) and the Boucher room ( the cherubs are sooo cute!) and his 4 season paintings. The audio guide adds a special personal touch to the paintings.

Other museums visited include the Noguchi with its intimate and Zen garden filled with stone sculptures in various calming shapes and shadows. Also did the Queens Museum of Art for the breathtaking panorama of New York and the Tiffany collection which was small but did include quite a detailed explanations of the various glass used in the Tiffany productions.

Overall, that’s quite a varied museum list… and says a bit of my weird tastes...

entertainment

Went to 3 immensely entertaining shows recently that are worth a mention…

The first isn’t really a show actually, but its one that I really enjoyed. Went to the Sunday Gospel service at a Harlem church, the inspirational singing was really powerful and the way the congregation stand up and join in, singing their hearts out was very moving. The songs were hymns I think, but done in a way that made it seemed alive. There was even a part of the service that had two guys called the Sons of Light doing raps! An awesome show.

The second was at Comedy Cellar, a bar-like place with comedians taking slots on the stage. Its amazing how entertaining the comedians are, the entire thing was very casually done, the comedians just come up to the stage and talk. But their scathing remarks and dry wit simply have me bending over with laughter, I laughed so hard I was in pain at a point! The yummy desserts of truffles pyramid and tiramisiu was definitely a distracting plus.

The third was Broadway under the Stars. A concert at Bryant Park with the Broadway stars delivering songs from various shows. I think the entire New York turned out for the event, you couldn’t find a speck of lawn in Bryant Park that wasn’t taken up by 7pm and the show only starts at 830! Luckily, we were forewarned and came at the ridiculous hour of 6 and managed to grab two chairs and proceeded to sit tight (well, P did leave to get food). It was a cloudy night, so you couldn’t really say we were watching “Broadway’s brightest stars under the stars”, but it was still a great show and an enjoyable experience

a bite of the Big Apple

Finally got the internet connection up and running… It’s the sixth day in the Big Apple and New York is hot! Met a native today that recognized me as a tourist from the Lonely Planet bible in my hands (which P borrowed for me from the local library as I forgotten mine in the half an hour mess of packing I did right before my flight after rushing out the 5 day translation course outline), and he actually apologized for the weather, it’s August-summer- sweltering and seriously seems worse that Singapore! Thank goodness the nights are still relatively cool in our Brooklyn apartment…

But sauna weather aside, it still didn’t deter me from my determination to shop, I must have gotten bitten by the retail bug… went to Soho, East Village, and the Lower East Side and had quite a good haul. I do enjoy the different form of shopping from the malls, popping into individual boutiques, each unique and personal in design and browsing through their collections… stopping to rest with a glass of iced tea in quaint cafes. Esp love East Village with its good collection of vintage stores and cafes. The abundance of sushi restaurant helped as well :p Also went to the Garment District which seemed pretty much catered to wholesalers but I was sidetracked by the Asian stores of Little Korea on the 32nd anyway. However, I did manage to find the tote bag I was looking for, so am very happy :)

Other activities include walking around Brooklyn Heights. Went to Brooklyn Promenade for the incredible view of the Manhattan skyline and harbor with the islands as well as the harbor front park for a marvelous view of the two bridges. Strolled across Brooklyn Bridge, the weather was pretty good that day, sunny but windy so you don’t feel so sticky, and the close up look at the Gothic architecture of the bridge as well as the view you get hiked up above the traffic was worth the trek.

Also went to Chelsea for gallery-hopping today and saw a couple of collections that I liked (minus the whole lot of abstract paint-flinged-onto-canvas and stuffing a mixture of stuff into stockings and piling them up). Esp. liked the one by a French photographer detailing her 92-day trip to Tokyo, counting down to the day she got her heart broke on the very last day. Another gallery had a video clip comprising of a collection of photographs of daily New York scenes superimposed with garish cartoon like splashes of color depicting war scenes of destruction set to the soundtrack of lullabies and a radio report with helicopter noises in the back. It really strikes the heart, esp the familiar scenes of knee deep snow piled in parks and people walking their dogs….there’s a chant inserted somewhere in the soundtrack...”Its never going to end” which seems so true.. as long as there are human beings, there’ll always be war…

Broadway show count is at 4 currently, with Naked Boys Singing on the top of my list. Perhaps I’m just not a big production kind of girl, always do like the smaller budget shows that seem to be more personal somehow and speaks to me in a way…

生病了

生病了。自从实习结束后，我没好好休息，几乎每天都有节目，身体终于开始抗议了。但，也算值得吧，见了许多好久没见的朋友，也看了几部好戏。现在，也该好好休息了。

5月10日，知道自己被派去那间学校了。是间好学校，名誉好，学生优。若我实习前便去那间学校，我应该会很开心。但，现在，经过实习的洗礼后，一切已今非 昔比。想念我的那些坏学生，习惯上课时把目标调到最低，用最简单的语言。习惯每次派下功课，就要花2个星期追回。习惯骂学生时，他们调皮的回嘴。这些，都 不是新学校会有的。不知道，我是否能重新适应这个新的环境。好的学校，要求会更高，又是另一个新的挑战。

那天，学生打来问我被派去那间学校时，说，老师，好啦，好学校，你不用整天骂学生了，不会教到吐血。可说完，他又加上一句，可是那些好学生不会像我们这样逗你笑，你以后会教到很闷的，还是教我们比较好哦。

哈，一针见血的评语。我的学生，其实好聪明的。