Stars in the sky...

Weekend was jammed starting from Fri midnite when I started to do my translation assignment which was supposed to be handed in before the exam on Sat…it was a horrible assignment…. one part political, one part economic and one part expository. All subjects I hate and am unfamiliar with…called P who dropped his work to help… finished two thirds of it and went to bed. Woke up at 8plus to continue and finished it at about 11am. Dashed to my cousin’s place to print it out before coming back to pack for the exam… which I had no time to study for at all. But it turned out okay I guess. The paper wasn’t too hard; at least it was nowhere as hard as the assignment. Anyway, it’s two down, and four more modules to go…

Went dancing at night after the paper and had one of the rare fun nights for months… althou I got whacked on the nose by J. It’s the first time I ever got whacked since I started dancing 2 years back. Stepped on, yes, multiple times. Whacked people, yes, multiple times too. But never ever got whacked, much least on the face. At least it was memorable. J was so apologetic it’s actually funny. But minus the painful/humorous incident, it was a great dance night. Union was actually not crowded at all but most of the crowd I dance with was there, which is a great combination.

Met with Lin today for Blithe Spirit, a light-hearted comedy that we both need…a little bit of fluff. Went for tea at an elegant café after… always enjoy the time with her… Had dinner after with another friend before returning home…

Missed a couple of stops on the way home and ended up somewhere near P’s place instead. Decided to walk home instead of taking a return bus, thought it would be faster if I took the back way. But it was dark and I took a wrong turn into a dead end and got lost in the labyrinth of private housing… It wasn’t a very smart move I guess… The roads were quiet and dimly lit and I passed a couple of construction workers…. took a few tries before I found a stairway I didn’t knew existed that led down to a road I was more familiar with. I thought I knew the area, but I guess I only really know the way from P’s place to mine. Still, there are rewards… raised my head when walking through a shadowy road to see stars in the sky. It’s a moonless, starry sky…never realized that one could see so many stars in the sky in Singapore… I may have got home 30 minutes later than I should, but it was a cool night and the stars accompanied me home… It would have been lovely walk, if not for the fact that I had to rush home to type my remarks…

失而复得

好久没这样一个星期天，全天待在家里。

想好好休息。想寻回一些平静。思绪却仍旧混乱。

原来失去的，不是那么容易就能寻回的。抑或，是从来没拥有过的，也就无所谓寻回。

前天不小心按了查阅hotmail的键，愕然发现因为太久没进入，hotmail竟然把所有的邮件都删除了。只留了hotmail staff寄来的一封不知所谓的邮件。心情莫名的惊慌。打了电话给平，问他这些邮件是否有存底。印象中没有，他只存了mit的信件，因为知道毕业后户口会被删除。hotmail的一来是他寄给我的，二来从没想过会被删除，没理由备存。

这些信，是六年前的信件了。若不是不小心发现已经失去，也许也不会想到要去看。但，在知道也许再无阅读的可能性时，却发现这几封信的重要性。

真的重要吗？

平试图安慰我时，说我们之间互寄的信件如此之多。手写的，短讯的，不同的邮址存的信件数不胜数。在一起六年，他在西我在东的日子占了大部分，彼此的文字堆积如山。也不差hotmail的这几封吧。

不一样的。Hotmail的这几封，记录的是最初的单纯。是再也找不回来的感觉。没有包袱，没有要求，没有压力。只有最纯的思念与甜蜜。六年了。当初的许多都已失去。也许，是注定的。感觉找不回来，留着些黑白的证明又有何用？可，却无法克制自己莫名的在乎。就是无法接受失去这些信件的可能。

几个小时后，平打了电话来，说找到了。原来，真的有备存，在一张CD里。

读了吗？感觉，好像是另外一个人写的，对不对？

找到了。却不想再读。不想，面对自己的改变。