evidence

When I am overworked and stressed and facing deadlines wherever I look, I tend to do silly things. Like spend time on facebook (in normal times, I never go to facebook except to approve friends. Now, I check it 10 times a day). Like take photos of my incredibly messy table (which has an order! Just not to anyone’s eyes but mine). Which explains why I have photos back in my uni days of stacks of notes on the bed. It appears that I do not change, although I do age.

And so, here, to entertain friends. And to remind people that although I might take awhile to answer emails, and also occasionally miss your calls because I keep forgetting to turn it on after class, I am still alive. Here be evidence of my existence. I.e., photos of my home.

This is my table. And the magnificent contraption that P rigged so I get two screens. Which is amazingly useful in essay writing as I can have my draft right next to me.



And this is my bookshelf. And yes, I know it’s gotten a lot messier since the last photo.



And to show I’m not the only untidy person, this is P’s table! Recently, he’s been on a computer-building mission that requires the taking apart of a lot of computers. As you can see, he has run out of space to the extent that he’s working on the floor. Heehee. At least I’m not reduced to that. Yet. And yes, I do have stuff on the floor too. But I’m not taking photos of that.



And this, is the last home project that I undertook, in the too far away past when I still had the time for home projects. It’s a photoframe-board, that holds eight photos and we write our daily schedule on it. It’s one of my favorite things in the house ☺



And now… a return to the essay that is due in two days. Sometimes… I wanna ask myself, why am I not asking myself why?

Indian Summer

We had a run of gloriously bright sun-drenched days the past week. Indian summer, a beautiful time in fall. The air loses the cold bite and the gold leaves dazzles in the sunlight.

Forecast says it’ll end by tomorrow with a rainstorm. And it’s back to reality after the short sunny holiday, how I wish we have a longer break! I just want to take one week and do nothing but read, the library books I borrowed have been collecting dust after its second renewal.

I have such a love-hate relationship with my work, similar to my attitude towards fall. I love fall, the cold, brisk air, so refreshing. And I love wrapping myself up in scarves and warm jackets. But I also enjoy the easiness of the past week, being able to run out the door in just short sleeves and sandals when I’m late for class, with no need for any additional fuss.

I love my work, I really do. I love the readings and the adrenaline when I’m doing the brainwork and I love the satisfaction when I complete the assignments. I love the lectures that set me thinking. And I love the research that make me all dusty mentally and physically. But I also love being able to just immerse myself in my CSI episodes and trashy books and have more time to cook the dishes that take such a long time to prepare!

Just finished my weekly response for the E&D module, and still have tons more of work to do. The weekly response took longer than it used to coz I’m still in such a lethargic holiday mood. Have a humanities forum seminar I want to attend at the Penn Museum in the evening, than will be helping a friend move house. I want to cook dinner, but I don’t know if I’ll have time to, have to finish watching this week’s film, King of the Children, tonight as well before the seminar class tomorrow. P borrowed a dvd from netflix that I'm interested in too...

I miss the Indian summer before it’s even over…

紅高粱

今天看《紅高粱》。

不知多久多小以前看過，忘了。也忘了看過幾次。這種經典片子，八頻道總重播。但這片子小時候覺得悶的，重播也未必看，最多當作背景音樂。

今天因為課業看。光碟質地有夠差。這堂課每周都得看一部片，上幾周的片子還是好舊的片，二十年代五十年代的都有。這一部比起來也不算多舊，原片竟然還是個錄像帶，光碟是從錄像帶抄過來的。看得我頭疼欲裂。

依稀記得這片子。重看前，就記得壓高粱的那一幕。重看時，剝皮的那一幕感覺最熟悉。但，觀畢時，縈繞在腦海的，卻是閉幕時那鮮紅的螢幕，和那小孩子為娘指路的聲音，稚嫩而嘹亮。

娘，娘，上西南！寬寬的長路，長長的寶船。娘，娘，上西南！騮騮的駿馬，足足的盤纏。娘，娘，上西南。你甜處安身，你苦處化纏。

不為什麼，就是記著。一個小孩，為娘親指路。

最近忙，少上來了。忙的，都是自己喜歡的東西，少了埋怨，少了時間，也就少了寫作的動力。

但，接觸的東西，卻大都帶點傷感。熟背墓葬畫時想當時安葬的傷。翻大開本的字典時感到莫名的寂寥。看文革前後的文學和電影時有些感同身受的無奈。就如《紅高粱》吧， 偶爾，還是會有些惆悵。

好久沒聽聞許多人的近況了。還好嗎？

欠了一些人的電郵沒回，很抱歉。但還是很希望聽到你們的訊息，心總是掛念著的