晒幸福小贴

老公要出门三天。

离开前一天：

老公：你看这是什么？
老婆：什么？（目光没离开正荧幕）
老公：这是葡萄哦。我现在把他洗好，你接下来三天就有葡萄吃了！（语气很是沾沾自喜）

为什么只是个葡萄就值得你那么炫耀？
为什么只是葡萄我就觉得那么感动？
果然还是个小女生啊。还是那么好骗。

离开前一晚：

老公：我是离开三天哦。你要记得洗碗！不要放到我回来。不然苍蝇满天飞的。
老婆：那我这三天不要煮饭了。
老公：不行啊，你有带饭去公司的。那些饭盒还是要洗的。
老婆：我命好惨哦！
老公：可怜的老婆……

原来我被宠到这样的程度了……

早晨小插曲

早晨，浴室内的夫妻对话

老婆： 旦旦，旦旦，过来！
老公： 什么事？
老婆： 你看你看， 嘎抓！
老公： ewwww...　（转身要走）
老婆： 什么，你杀掉它啊！嘎抓来的！
老公： ewww...　(弯下身看了一眼，随手拿起旁边的洗衣粉罐子砸了一下。小蟑螂粉身碎骨。再转身要走。）
老婆： 啊？（有点目瞪口呆）你就这样走？那它的尸体怎办？而且你这样那洗衣粉罐子下面不是很脏？
老公： ewww...　我冲掉它咯。（抓了张厕纸抓起蟑螂扔进马桶冲掉。再拿起洗衣粉罐子翻过来看。）没有脏啊？（随便用厕纸抹了一下意思意思，然后就真地走人。）
老婆：　我还是第一次看到有人用洗衣粉杀嘎抓……（被留下的人喃喃自语）

附带日常小插曲：

每每当老公跟老婆在电邮中吵架吵输，就爱打个“大哭”作点缀。
一次老婆回说：“哭什么哭！都是我让你，是我哭！”
老公答曰：“哭不哭都得听你的！我照哭！”

十年

這一年的八月九日，我和平在一起也就十年了。想到時， 第一念頭是，呀，怎麼就十年了。

以前（也就是所謂的小時候），看到十年這麼一個詞，總覺得是形容那些漫步在夕陽下，牽著手，白髮蒼蒼的老夫老妻。浪漫，幸福，平凡而又難得。總覺得那麼遙不可及。沒想到，現在我和平雖然還未白髮蒼蒼（但也快了），但也不知不覺成了老夫老妻。

十年，說容易嘛並不容易。說難嘛這一晃眼也就過了。當然，比之世上那些結髮五十年七十年的夫妻，十年其實還是短暫的。

但畢竟也算個里程碑吧。所以還是高高興興去附近的一個小島慶祝。島很小，來回走個半小時也就差不多走完了。第一天拉著手潛水，看了無數魚。晚上看了一部電影（我們都多少年沒去看電影了，感覺像回顧年少談戀愛時）。第二天搭船出海，下午就是賴在躺椅上看書睡覺。其實也就是懶幾天。

選了一個小島，雖然不是故意的，但也有點念鄉的意思。我們是在一個小島長大，相遇，相戀。十年前在那一個小島海堤邊第一次牽手。十年後在另一個小島海邊散步時，仍舊牽著手，沒有白髮，也不是夕陽，但心裡，不是沒有感激。

過去十年，我們互送了彼此無數禮物。今年，我唯一要求的，是讓他寫下十個回憶。從2001年八月到2011年八月，一年一個。十個他記憶清晰的回憶。

我家呆子記憶力不好。很多東西都不記得了。比如2001年他記得我們看了一部電影然後去海邊坐。但什麼電影完全不記得了。哪裡的海邊也不記得了。在寫的過程中烏龍遍布。有時2006年的事情記成2003年的，被我否決後就很開心地說那2006年的就不用再寫了。寫到2007年的時候怎麼想都想不起那一年到底發生了什麼事，一直在問我們那一年到底去哪玩了，去尼加拉瀑布是不是那一年。在我說不是時憤憤扔筆說想不起啦那一年我們什麼事都沒做。很好，所以我們結婚原來不是一件事。

弄得我又氣又笑。

也就是這樣吧。有時候生氣，有時候難過。在去小島前我們還因為一個芒果吵了架（我們怎麼老是因為水果吵架？！）但也有時候溫馨，有時候幸福得很不像話。而更多的是平淡，還有笑。在十年後，他還是常常讓我笑。雖然大多數是又氣又笑，但還是笑得很開心。儘管每次都因為一些很小很小的事情。

這個呆子呀。十年相處，很多話都說了。下面這一句也許也說過了。但，我還是想再說一遍。

在所有的過去和現在，所有可懷念和可期待的日子裡，謝謝你，一直都在我身邊。

願我們，在接下來所有的十年，執手，偕老。

Monday Blues

I got this poll from a beauty blog I read occasionally. She does these polls every Monday and I found them fun to read. This week's poll seems especially quirky and made me want to answer - and it's a easy way to kinda keep up on my blog which I have been finding oddly hard to do!

1. Mood:

A little blue, but not really. I can't believe it's August already. Before I know it, it's going to be Christmas and a year would have flew by without my even knowing.

2. Chanel No. 5 — love it or leave it?

I remember it's a very synthetic fragrance. So, nope.

3. How often do you exfoliate?

For my face, at least once a week. For my body, usually when I find my skin feeling flaky, so not as often as I should.

4. Do you enjoy cleaning?

no. I wish I can hire a cleaner as the husband often suggest. But we live in such a tiny apartment that hiring a cleaner would be a joke.

5. One of your weird quirks?

hm. I use a face mask on my feet? I like to wear sandals and frequently forget to use moisturizer on them so my feet get really dry. I have this huge tube of marine mud mask that I can't imagine ever finishing so every now and then when I feel the feet getting too dry and ugly, I'll slather the mask over them and leave them on for 20 mins (while sitting on the toilet seat with a book). It seems to work as the feet aren't as icky as they used to be.

6. One of your oldest pieces of jewelry?

a moonstone pendent. I've had it since I was fifteen and wore it everyday until I was eighteen (under my uniform on a gold chain masquerading as a religious piece, it's a wonder I didn't get caught by the discipline mistress!) The chain and hook broke and was replaced twice I think. I still wear it occasionally and it has great sentimental value.

7. Are you a card shark?

I enjoy the occasional game of dai dee, but no, not really. I find gambling interesting only if you do it with friends and gossip.

8. Would you ever get a tattoo of your pet?

I don't have a pet but entertain the thought of a tattoo. except I have no threshold for pain.

9. Eyes/lips/cheeks?

I'm not wearing foundation/blush today, but I'm trying out Shiseido hydroshadow in violet. Lips is tokidoki gelato, grape color.

10. Weekly goals:

This is shaping up to be a busy week. Goals would be to finish all the food in the fridge and also do as much translation as possible before our anniversary getaway to Catalina Island next Mon!

summer rambling

Like a blog that I frequent recently said, it’s been two thousand years.

I don’t really have any excuse. It’s not that I don’t want to write, I do, but I find that I usually find myself drafting posts at night, when I’m in bed, seconds before I’m about to fall asleep. Somehow, that’s when my thoughts flow. When I’m awake, it’s always all too easy to distract myself with another article to read, another episode to watch, another activity to do. Not to mention the last two months was mostly spent on the road.

I comfort myself that I’m out there living life instead of writing about it. Except that writing is also one thing I want to do in life. And I find that a couple of years down the road, I’m always appreciative of these entries recording my past memories and thoughts. Because without these records, memories too often fade and I forget the person I was.

So anyhow, this is me. Trying to write more.

So let’s see what I’ve been up to.

The last two months was kinda crazy. LA, Monterey, Chicago, and did an entire loop around Michigan, hitting two National Lakeshores and a state park in Upper Peninsula. It was a good trip with Mom. After that it was entertaining Mom and ZL when they visited. Drove to many sights around the area, checking out the landscapes, it was fun. California is such a vibrant place through the eyes of a tourist. The beaches are lovely and the sun makes everything light up. As a resident, frankly, it’s too hot.

After two months of pure fun, life becomes more settled again. Except it’s summer, so there’s still fun to be had. We did a picnic for 4th of July at La Jolla coast, catching a beautiful sunset and the fireworks. The tons of people with tents and bbqs was impressive. The people were so friendly that just hanging out there made for a nice day. We also went snorkeling at La Jolla Underwater Park. We must have walked past La Jolla Cove a thousand times, and this is the first time we actually went swimming in the Californian Pacific. It wasn’t the perfect day, the tides were strong and it was difficult getting into the water, not to mention the wetsuit. But the view from the water of the La Jolla cliffs was beautiful, so different on the other side. It was nice to float on the water, looking at the view. And swimming through the seagrass and schools of golden fish is just indescribable. I went swimming a couple times more in our condo pool last week – each time I get in the water, I tell myself I should do it more. It’s such a good feeling, why do I always forget? Anyway, I signed up for Paddle Board Yoga next month, that should ensure more time in the blue Pacific.

Frequenting good old groupon also lined up more activities for us – horseback riding, a culinary tour, museum tickets etc. We also have plans for some fairs and a outdoor jazz concert in the park. It’s summer after all, although I can’t wait for fall.

And I’ve also been playing around with cooking and make-up.

Cooking is something necessary because eating outside costs so much here in SoCal, groupons and restaurant.com certificates notwithstanding. We still go out at least once a week and occasionally try out new places, but we mostly eat at home. Usually I just do soups – I have two or three soup recipes that I fall back on, it’s healthy and easy. Ten minutes of prep time before I leave the house and it’s ready when we get home. But I do like to mix it up a little to make it fun.

Last weekend, I attempted Chilli Crab because I had a hankering for home-style comfort food. I had no idea it required tomato paste! I didn’t use whole crabs, instead I switched it out for crab legs, snow crab, jumbo prawns and shrimp. The result did not exactly turn out like the Chilli Crab of home, but it was still tasty and we enjoyed the seafood.

Another good thing about summer is the cheap fruit. We bought boxfuls of melons, mangoes, peaches and apricot. When it’s too hot, sometimes just making a milkshake with fruit, milk, ice-cream and ice-cold cream soda is enough for dinner, or at least a really filling snack. I also made a batch of osmanthus tea recently to ward off the hot summer weather.

I’ve also been kinda suffering from retail therapy. After going out non-stop when entertaining family and friends, I took a couple of days where we only went out for groceries and spent the rest of the day at home, and I’ve some time on my hands to sit in front of the screen. Only I’m wishing I sat on my hands instead.

I’ve no idea how it started. I’ve never really been the shopping kind. I don’t really enjoy going out to shop, except for occasional sprees with a girlfriend. When I go overseas, I usually find myself bored at those shopping areas – especially if I’m with P who seriously hates shopping. But recently, I began frequenting beauty blogs and sites – and started buying. And it’s not a little addictive, especially with Sephora where buying stuff gets you points and tons of samples. But it’s really fun and I find myself spending more time and thought on putting myself together before going out.

I used to spend perhaps five minutes getting ready - just grabbing the nearest piece of clothing that makes sense in the weather and the type of activity I was going to do. Now I give more thought to accessories, colors, and also make-up. I don’t do this everyday (there are still days I grab the nearest piece of most comfortable clothing and slip on my oldest pair of sandals), but at least one or two days a week, I take thirty minutes before going out (P uses the time for an extra game at the computer so he doesn’t exactly complain). It’s enjoyable and entertaining (even if P don’t really notice or care!) And it makes me feel more female somehow. Thirty years is a little late to the make-up game and I’m still awfully bad at applying it; I don’t know if I’ll stick at it (I definitely need to stop buying!!!), but until it stop being fun, I’ll probably keep at it for awhile.

In actuality, life hasn’t been all that exciting recently. It’s not boring, but not exactly thrilling. Then again life rarely is. There are things to do, which are worth mentioning, but it hasn’t really been an emotional rollercoaster. Perhaps that’s the real reason why I haven’t been writing. Things to do with a combination of being satisfied made it easy not to pick up the pen (metaphorically speaking). I guess, too often I write when I want to rant, or when I need an emotional outlet.

But I’ve been happy. And I’m still happy. There are ups and downs, but the downs doesn’t distract from the fact that I’m mostly content. (It definitely helps that there’s someone who tries his best to lift me up whenever I’m down).

Sometimes I wonder if I should feel so satisfied and content. In reality, I’m not really achieving much, doing the little things in life. My work isn’t exactly going anywhere – and I should really start to stretch myself more, and perhaps push myself to get out of my comfort zone. I’m not growing in life and I lack adrenaline. I think of these things and feel the need for a change.

But then again, there are factors to consider – uncertainty in how long we’ll be staying here (P’s job hold priority), uncertainty in what to do. And I think to myself, I’m happy now. And those are thoughts for another day.

非诚勿扰

昨天看了《非诚勿扰》。看了第一感觉是，被骗了。都说这是一部爱情喜剧，喜在哪？除了开头那一篇征婚启事写得挺诙谐的之外，我都看不太出这一部2小时落落长的片子有何喜感。所以看得我挺郁闷的。不说喜剧，我连爱情都没看出来。这就是一个介入人家婚姻的第三者和一个自视太高的老男人硬凑在一起的故事。女人明显没爱上男人，其实男人大概也没太爱上女人。

说秦奋一系列的相亲遭遇逗趣，其实也没多逗。嘲讽意味过重，看了嘴角也许微弯，不过却无太多笑意。最受不了，是电影下半场一直强调舒淇是个心理实在的女孩。这是一个破坏人家婚姻的女生耶。无论她多痛苦，多挣扎，她都是一个介入一段婚姻，而且一直想要让男人抛弃妻子的人。请问这个实在在哪里？她也许可怜。但可怜的人必有其可恨之处。她绝对不是一个心眼实的女孩。尤其最后还懦弱地选择跳海，选择自残以报复他人最傻了。连自己都不爱，何以要他人爱。



怎么看，这两个主角一点都不讨喜。他们的故事，在剥开相亲的包装后，就是一个挺老套的故事。在征婚的那段后就应该结束，徒然浪费北海道的景色。

唯一一个比较喜欢的镜头，是邬桑一个人在聊无人烟的路上开着车，唱着听不懂的日语歌。唱着唱着就哭了。镜头拉开，是那么秀丽的田园风光。两者的反差，带出的寂寞感很强烈。人到一定年龄，最初最好的朋友，青春，都已不再。长居异乡，甚至年少熟悉的风景也不再。就这一段特别有感触。也许因为自己最近也老开这样的路。不过，邬桑一边哭一边开，我看的时候还挺胆战心惊的，害怕下一秒就是一场车祸，悲剧收场。

之前就有朋友一直推荐我看《非诚勿扰》。推荐电影，也推荐节目。

看节目时就有点不能接受。每次看到男生失败下场时，就觉得很不忍心。偶尔有男生过关，必须在三个女生之间做抉择，选择的不是自己最初动心的女子，就会觉得男生其实 就是怕被拒绝。选的也不是自己喜欢的。看多几次后，发现自己往往可以凭条件预测男生是否会失败，就不再看了。

都说电影和节目挺好笑的。怎么我就两个都不喜欢。还有一部《非诚勿扰2》呢。不知道应不应该试试。

变

很多事情是会变的，但很多事情也不会变。

很久没写了。回头看之前写过的一些东西，发现很多事已经变质，无论是感情，或是看法。有些以为会永恒的，早已不知不觉间改变。也许是成长。也许是疲惫。也许，是没有什么是不会改变。

开始想，干嘛要写。是留住霎那吗。何苦。回头望时，只会强调失去的是什么。

可是想想，毕竟曾经拥有过。感情也许变质，但毕竟曾经真挚。那段回忆定格在那一刻。那一刻，是真心的，快乐的。那一霎那铭刻于当下，已发生过的无法否认，也无法改变。

有些故人不必再寻。

但，曾经给过的，不应否认。

我还是感谢，还是珍惜。

愛流浪的宅女

最近有些些被生活淹沒的感覺。

人，真的是很矛盾的物體。無所事事整日窩在家裡時，就渴望外出，渴望流浪。整日奔波居無定所時，又渴望回家，渴望可以日日睡到日上三竿無需出門。

從日本回來後，基本每天要么窩在家裡做翻譯煮飯，要么找家有免費網絡的泡泡茶館待個整天做翻譯喝泡泡茶。不知不覺過了三個星期，忽然間發現很久沒出門了，心裡莫名有點堵有點慌，感覺自己在浪費光陰。開始想安排週末去一些什麼沒去過的地方玩。

為什麼我只要日子稍微安定稍微有些按部就班就會有自己在浪費時間的危機感？

可是五月六月安排好好多計劃。五月初開車上三藩市參加姊姊的婚禮，之後飛去芝加哥參加弟弟的畢業典禮。之後帶媽媽開車去Pictured Rocks玩六天。六月時小璐子來訪，一起去Yosemite玩一週。差不多兩個月都在路上。想起來，又覺得有些累，想還是在家裡簡單。

我是個喜歡流浪的宅女。怎麼辦？

也許是最近日子實在是平淡，開始在出門前化妝。其實根本不需要。就算出門也是整日藏在茶館裡，對著一堆幼齒大學生也沒人看。不過也就是讓自己除了翻譯煮飯之外也有些事做。而且天氣漸暖，開始能穿裙打扮。我是個很不會化妝的女人。這輩子化過的妝十根手指加十隻腳趾就絕對數得完。很多時候化了妝不如沒化妝能看。最近幾週一週至少畫兩次，沒想到畫著畫著也有些心得。有時候，把自己弄得亮麗些，自己心情也會好些。

不過如果當天要上Pilates，我是不會化妝的。我還是沒有能力如課上一些女模型的女人一樣。就算要運動流汗，也有辦法完完整整地上一臉妝，下了課就連塗得黑黑的眼睫毛都仍舊完美。實在太厲害了。同為女人，我實在有愧。人說沒有醜女人，只有懶女人。大概我還是比較懶的。

說起懶，最近真的有些無奈。人說學習如逆水行舟。原來練習Pilates也是。回去新加坡和去日本三個多星期。整段時間沒在練習不說，還有些暴飲暴食。回來後發現身體很多肌肉都弱了不少，真的有些氣餒。其實坦白講，自從考到教學證書搬來加州後，自己的鍛煉就大幅度減少。影響雖少，卻很持續。很多以前做得到的動作，之前就開始覺得有些困難。今天上課時，有些幾乎都做不到了。好懷念以前的體格，一個動作可以定格超過三十秒直到老師都覺得太長了都沒問題。現在要定格超過十秒都有困難。之間差別少過一年耶。不過要恢復到考證書時一天鍛煉五個小時，我真不知道自己做不做得到。那個時候是半全職為了證書在練習，而且上課是免費的。再說畢竟關鍵在“持續”二字。否則就算恢復了，只要一鬆懈一個月，就馬上打回原形。不進則退呀。這是懶人的致命點。怎麼辦？

很多東西其實都是沒有辦法解決的。再怎麼說，自己還是個幸福小孩，有人疼有人愛，再不開心都有人捧在手心裡哄。再愛流淚，前提也是因為知道，無論我流淚多久多遠，家裡也一直都有人在等我回家。如若不進，退得再遠再無力回頭，也有個港灣守著。我已如此得天眷顧，只是還是偶爾怨煩。很不應該哦。

每天找一樣東西讓自己開心。戴個花俏些戒指。點杯貴一些的泡泡茶。抽個十分鐘在海邊走走，任海浪嬉鬧染濕裙擺。任何一樣。讓這一天和昨天不一樣。一天一小樣，其實不難吧。

如此享受今天，期待明天。珍惜自己，和自己擁有的。

要告訴我自己，要珍惜才會有哦。

要珍惜才配有。

歌与故事

一首歌，一个故事。

歌曲带给我的触动一直都很大。大概因为我是一个多愁善感的人吧。很容易将一首歌与一件事或一个感觉联系在一起。从此只要听到那一首歌，回忆就特别多。很容易胡思乱想，然后就一整天情绪不稳。

我的ipod很老，是那种又肥又大的，和现在纤细的型款比，简直就是羞于见人。里头的歌都是以前下的，很多很不幸的被我附上了杂七杂八的回忆与感触。坦白讲很久没听了。一半因为我那口子不喜欢听音乐，嫌烦。所以在家里就不听。再来我车旧，没办法直接和ipod连线。所以在车里我都听图书馆借来的CD。还有一个原因，大概是害怕听吧。很多事情，想起，太累。

这一次，新接的pilates课之前的老师习惯在教课时播音乐，善意提醒我如果上课时不播点音乐，客户大概会不习惯。不得已，只得翻出那胖嘟嘟的ipod，沉睡多年终于又派上用场。顺便翻出很久以前买的一个能够插车座的ipod器，想不用也白不用。

听的音乐，都是十年前的。没想到，很多故事，还都一一记得。这一首，是以前一个朋友为我写一个短篇小说做生日礼物里用的。这一首，是那个让我哭得稀里哗啦的偶像剧主题曲。这一首，一个朋友曾半夜读书听933时听到，录下给我的。这一首，是我和他第一次长期分离，我日日听，听到室友差点翻桌的。这一首，是他第一次学会唱的。那么那么多回忆，一首一首接踵而来。实在不适合在开车听呀。

有时候会觉得，一些歌一些词，是少龄听时容易感动。都近而立了，应该成熟了吧。其实没有。当然也许是我不懂得成长。

2002年在北京，一次扭伤脚。一个朋友特别关心，帮我找了个铁打师傅让我去她房间给师傅按按。朋友住的房间有如酒店，设备很齐全。那时躺在床上让师傅按脚，电视机播了一首MV。柔柔的音乐，暖暖的女声。也许因为那时还未适应和人分离。在听到那一句“一点温柔，什么都释然”时，心，忽然感觉到很软很软。

没想到，快十年了。今日的我，在开着车，听到同样的女声，唱到同样的这一句话其实真的很普通的话时，心，还是忽然感到很软很软。

还真是没半点长进啊。