kisses papering the wall

read the following line on Alfian Sa'at's journal.

I loved you not because you were an enigma to me; instead, I loved you and transformed you into one.

and it stirred a chord.

met G at corduroy cafe last night.

love this cafe from the first when Z brought me there. loved the mood. the crux between simpleness and mess. the slanting clocks against the red vermilion wall. tucking my feet under on the brand new crimson sofa. softness and and hushed ambience.

the second time I was at the cafe was with Pern. we sat at the brown sofas at the corner end, away from the rest. sharing one double seater. leaning against the sofa, against each other. talking about everything, and yet really nothing. six months before the day, anticipatory, yet apprehensive. janet seidal playing over the speakers.

and last night. a near empty cafe, with only a few lights liting up a couple of seats. the rest of the cafe darkened. chose one of the lit seats because I was waiting with a book. tucked my feet under while listening to gab talk about love. remembering the past few times I was here. and the people i came with. kisses papering the wall.

I loved you once. not the fire and not the heat. not because perhaps, of anything.

it was the moment. crystallized into perfection.

I loved you and in that moment... and in that moment. it was enough.