Christmas is coming....
Christmas trees everywhere, the Orchard lights are up (blue this year with the Nutcracker theme, very pretty), the scent of Body Shop's Cranberry Body Lotion (with two other new scents this year so it isn't as obvious), and... the christmas carols..
Somehow…for me… Christmas doesn't bring the normal cheer and joy as it does the previous years...
First caught sign of Christmas's approach when I was at Taka with my bridesmaids on Nov 2nd when we did our gals' day out. They realized it first with the red poinsettias everywhere. My attempt to deny it was crushed with Taka's enormous Christmas tree in the atrium…
At first, I put it down to the stress and overload of work… plus, Christmas also equals the approach of way too many deadlines (which I am not ready for!)…so naturally, I would be in denial of Christmas.
However, as was waiting for a friend the other day at the mall and was bombarded by the never-ending carols, I was suddenly reminded of 106.7 with its endless loop of carols... and I realized that it isn't due to the work at all...
It's because I'm conditioned...
Christmas, isn't like this… Christmas, to me, is both cold and cozy…
Christmas is snow, both freshly fallen and brown slush and slippery blackened ice. Christmas is tacky decorations in the front yards of houses and pine trees tied to car roofs. Christmas is lights glittering with frost and blurred with the fog of warm breath…
Christmas is leaving your prints on untouched snow… to see your tracks behind… Christmas is stepping into freshly fallen powder one day and brown sludge the next… It's wrapping up in warm coats just to breath in the fresh cold air… Christmas is fireplaces and warm gold lights… Christmas is quiet days and romantic nights…
Christmas is days spent lazing at home with a hot drink and a good book and the sounds of P rattling around the apartment… Christmas is playing carols round the clock with P putting on headphones at times simply to avoid hearing it… It's driving out with frosted windows and sounds of P's complains… It's shopping at marts filled with Christmas goodies and P sneaking goodies into the cart… It's cooking for hours for a Christmas-themed feast of dishes that P will finish no matter if they are successful or not (and usually, due to it being the first attempt and not very religiously following downloaded recipes, they aren't very successful)…
It's the scent of frost and Christmas in the air….
And always, always with P….
Ever since '03, I've always spent Christmas in the States with P, flying over in november… four years down the road… and I'm conditioned…
And it's the Christmas carols that I used to play round the clock, now piped over the mall's speakers… that reminded me… the strains of chestnuts roasting on an open fire and city sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style bringing back the memories of the fireplaces and frosty windows…
Haven't started playing my Christmas soundtrack yet… and don't think I can bear to just yet…
Christmas isn't Christmas without P... so for me... it isn't Christmas just yet...
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