first teaching anniversary

Today marks the first year anniversary of teaching… and I almost didn't remember. If not for the alarm I set a long time ago… it would have passed by without a ripple in my teaching life… Running up and down… scolding students for matters ranging from breaking the fluorescent tube by playing ball to not collecting enough newspapers… settling matters like their class outing and confiscating Da Vinci Code from students reading illegally in my class…It's a day just like another.

Still. It's been a year. Congratulations to myself.

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Went for a course yesterday and skipped a day of school. Kept falling asleep though, am so tired. Only woke up for the discussions. The instructor played a movie at the end of the course and said it wasn't compulsory to stay behind… naturally, most people left. I was one of the three that stayed behind… partly because I felt bad, partly because the show left an impression. Remembering the Titans, it was a film more on the segregation between the whites and black than on team cohesion, still, it was no less inspirational. When Gerry met with the accident and Julius visited him, his answer to the nurse's statement of only kin is allowed is simply heartbreakingly true.

For a film that handles racial segregation and harmony issues, Remembering the Titans is definitely way more idealistic than Crash, despite being a true story. But sometimes, instead of handling the issues in a way that uses thought-provoking pain, films that give us hope might not leave a stronger impact, but it does give us a reason to try…

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Term's ending… although it doesn't feel like it. I don't feel the sense of finality or relief. Not to say that I do at any end of term week. Work is still piled up and continues to pile as I type… Looking forward to the holidays though, especially for Bintan… three days of relaxing, with nothing more stressful than waking up late and lazing by the beach… swimming in the sea and ache-releasing spas…. Three days of not thinking of anything but what to eat for dinner…in fact, I'm not going to think about that either, P can decide. ….Three days of heaven…

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Went for drinks with Lin last Sat as I was feeling moody…. I actually hate the taste of alcohol. But I just wanted to not think. Turned out it didn't really work. Went to two places, the lounge at Ritz recced by Gab, and Postbar at the Fullerton . Only had three drinks but I already felt dizzy and threw up. A bartender was so worried that she held my hand all the way to the toilet and pushed a mug of warm lime water to Lin to make me drink when I didn't return to the bar after. Lin was amazing… she took care of me all night, entertaining my whims and tantrums and took me home when it appeared that I shouldn't drink anymore… I don't remember all that I've said except that it was probably very embarrassing and nonsensical and she stayed with me all the way and through the night… She said she's never seen me so upset in all our years of friendship and I'm long overdue for a breakdown… I don't know, all I know is that I hope I can snap out of this mood soon…. And I'm incredibly lucky to have Lin….