scrambled thoughts

April 9th. Today is a special day because of a promise made.

Suddenly, everything is seen through different light… nothing changes but everything changes… essentially…

Its funny how everything happens on the 9th for us… hopefully it really means something ...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On another note, yesterday was the translation competition. I’m so proud of my kids! They actually got into the finals ^_^ I really didn’t expect them to get in despite all my threats. I know, its only 4th, but 4 out of 79 teams means a great deal. And they really did very well and stood up under some very tough competition. I know that they are still upset with the results (they were so close!) but I’m really very proud of them already. All those training sessions were really worth it. They were quite disappointed when they knew that the trophy and prize money were all going straight to the school, so I treated them to lunch at Sakae after. I’ll miss them with the end of weekly training sessions… (and they were talking about celebrating their freedom!)

One down, five more competition days to go… hope my wushu kids do as well …

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next two weeks will be hell with the afternoons all taken up and marking undone… Chinese orals for the first week and Wushu competitons the second. Still there’s Good Friday to look forward to. Treating Shimei for a pedicure and going for a play after on Sat. And may be meeting up with my favorite aunt for her birthday on Fri itself.

Also will be meeting JX. Both of us have been making plans to meet up since mid-March and the planned dinner never materialized… Its like “Why are you so busy???” and “Why are YOU so busy???” right back between the both of us... finally set a date on the 17th which both of us die die will make it for…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April is my theatre month (I seem to have theatre months every alternate months! Watched numerous plays in Feb and none in Jan and March. Watching numerous plays in April and none in May. Already bought 4 tickets for June coz it’s the Arts Fest and none as yet for July… hmm. Weird coincidence?)

Watched A Language of Their Own by checkpoint theatre and loved it. The acting was above average though not fantastic but the play itself was absolutely amazing… pure poetry in action. It had me in tears at several points… the raw truth and emotions spilling out amidst the words…The flaws of humans and the way we destroy the people we love because we don’t dare to keep them for fear of losing them… We push what we want away because we are afraid of we want it too much… or we grip it too hard and shatter it anyway…

Remember that I didn't like Chay Yew's Porcelain which was the first part of he trilogy... really interested in Half Lives, the last of his Whitelands trilogy, waiting for it to show in singapore...

Next was A Beautiful Companion… watched this with some of my colleagues. We went for the pay-as-you-wish show. It was ok… the plot and acting was good, but the play itself was draggy.

And watched West Side Story on the 7th. (Bought the tickets last Nov on the day ticket sale opened and we still couldn’t get seats anywhere near the front! But still got center orch tickets). Enjoyed the show, as I was telling Shuhui… Some shows you go in expecting it to be good already because of the reputation (and the darn ticket price), so even when it does turn out above average, you aren’t blown away. (but there are exceptions like Wicked, that was out of my expectations!) West Side was good, yes, but it wasn’t mind-blowing fantastic. The vocals and set are of excellent caliber but it isn’t any less or more than my expectations. The only gripe I had was why didn’t Maria die in the end?!?! It isn’t loyal to R&J as I expected it to be.

Watching 2 or 3 plays towards the end of the month… will update when I get around to it…

Am not watching enough films though. Only caught Three Times with Xuan at the Picturehouse opening. It was good, typical Hou Hsiao Hsien style. The first part of the tripartite was so sweet. Almost couldn’t stand the silently shot second part despite the exquisite cinematography though. I just can’t stand silent films. Want to watch The Producers if for nothing that I love the actors and want to see the difference between the film and musical… now to find a time to see it before it closes… already hate that I missed Ingmar Bergman’s Saraband…

Also caught the finals of Campus Superstar and although I didn’t watch any of the preludes, I enjoyed the show. I think I fell in love with the winner from my alma-matar. He’s so cute and huggable! Plus I really liked the songs he sang. I’m quite impressed with the standard of these kids and the camaraderie they showed… reminded me of my JC days as Xinping said in her blog.

P booked his tix back for June… Can’t wait to see him and the days we get to spend together… Plan to take at least two trips together… Miss the way his presence calms me…. Miss the trips we take together and the experiences we share…

And that’s the end of this overdue and overlong update…

平凡的歌

最近在教《母亲》这个课题。学校的一个实习老师找来了一首阿牛的歌曲，《妈妈的爱有多少斤》。歌词很浅白，旋律柔和。很久没听这么单纯的一首歌了，没修 饰，没技巧，就是简简单单地将一个母亲和孩子之间自然流露的情感唱出来。好久没听阿牛的歌了，都忘了以前多么喜欢他的歌中的那份通俗的真。

炒一碟菜油要放几滴 煮一顿饭要用多少心
你煮过的饭有多少斤 谁能数得清 答案悄悄地藏在米缸里
妈妈的爱有多少斤 谁能数得清 答案写在她脸上的皱纹里

播这首歌时，班上出奇地安静。平时爱闹爱吵的学生听这首歌时好安静，有些眼眶微红。有些歌，还是通俗些，才能动人。

最近意外地都在听一些较平凡的歌曲。那天学生在做歌词演绎时，呈献了《有用的人》，尽管歌曲难找，他们还是坚持一定要这首歌。看到班上好多人都对 这首歌十分熟悉，在播歌曲时，他们都能跟着唱。当我说这是我第一次听这首歌，同时也没看过《小孩不笨》，他们讶然得有些好笑。但感觉到他们对这部电影的共 鸣。许多人都认为这间学校的学生都是顶尖的，但其实失败与挫折，人人都有。他们也都曾被人骂过：“你真的好笨”。三个月了，最大的收获，应该就是和这一班 多了一些默契，和对他们多了一份了解吧。从开始对他们那份沉默的气和无奈，到现在班上的些微气氛。尽管道路还很久，但我期待。

有些游戏结果不一定要获胜
有些收获不在终点而在过程

Holidays -- Come and Gone

Now Playing: 流水年华 - 庾澄庆

Second last day of the holidays and I have almost the same multitude of work that I had when the holidays started – papers unmarked, comprehensions unset, files unchecked… how did this happen?!?!

Stayed at home the whole day today in an effort to finish the comprehensions at least… but the results are dismal (only finished one with 3 left to go). Ugh, am missing the salsa fiesta for the darn comprehensions, I’ll finish them tonight if it’s the last thing I have to do to make it worthwhile.

Other things that made the holidays worthwhile (noted in point form to save time):
-- got a haircut and my very first pedicure that I’m pleased with *admires pretty toes*,
-- did a day out with mom (spa, shopping, food, movie)
-- ate two filling meals (a delicious salmon steak done rare and chili crabs), courtesy of dad in celebration of birthdays
-- spent a day at Borders, simply relaxing with a book

Not bad for a week of holidays, considering that 3 days were spent in school for trainings and seminars… still longing for June thou…

On another note, many thanks to all for the well-wishes on the day I turned quarter of a century old (^_^) Its happy to know that one is in so many people’s thoughts…

Crash

Just watched “Crash” , bought the second last two tickets that sat us right at the front row and now I have a permanent crick in my neck. But its’ worth it. It may not be better than Brokeback, but it had a message that speaks of truth.

Is it sad that I recognize parts of myself up there on the screen? The ignorance and the indifference to the ignorance I have towards those not of my race simply because I have no interaction with them and they play no part in my life. Self-centered but that’s me.

There is no black and white and somehow knowing that there are no heroes to worship and model after and no villains to slay makes us even more vulnerable and insecure.

The school’s been focusing on racial harmony recently and talks about closing the gap between the races. I would suggest playing the film to the students and teachers but I don’t think it will help, and not just because I doubt the students’ ability to understand the film.

Everyone is a bigot in some way or other and it isn’t anything that will be likely to solve itself with force-feeding lectures and speeches and attempted brainwashing.

It’s not just stereotyping. It’s the inability to understand each other. It’s the isolation of oneself and the slow subconscious thoughts that seeps into you. It’s knowing that we are all different and fear of that difference.

There’s hope in the film. Although there are parts of us that are too ugly to be seen, there’s also goodness that we don’t see. We are capable of vicious acts but also capable of heroic acts beyond belief.

And perhaps, the truth of that is good enough.

Second MC of the year

Second MC of the year and its still due to sore throat… the doctor was asking me what the hell did I do to my throat again when he saw me…haiz. Like I want to have sore throat like that…

Can’t wait for this week to be over… I think I’m more like a student than a teacher when it comes to anticipating holidays! Even holidays that are filled with work like the upcoming March holidays with translation and wushu training sessions and staff seminars and comprehension exercises and papers to mark. But I scheduled two spa days for me and Mom in celebrations of our birthdays. Also going to get a hair-cut and there’s a Salsa Fiesta on Saturday. Even more looking forward to the June Hols when P is going to come back so that we can go somewhere together. Debating between Thailand or Taiwan now with a extra short trip to KL?

Still, I really enjoy these MC days, all by myself in the house and the peace and quiet makes it easy to mark my papers… the papers and hours seem to fly by. Soreness of throat is pain but since I don’t talk to myself anyway it’s almost ignorable.

1st term is almost over, and I’m starting to get the part where I know all my students by name which makes it a lot easier…. The kids make everything worth it even when they are little devils out to get your last shred of sanity, so getting to know them is so important…

At the end of the term, one is supposed to take stock of one’s work life… but my thoughts seem to be running everywhere…

Making a Difference...

Now Playing: Bless the Broken Road - Rascal Flatts

Mom forwarded me a mail today that I want to share with all my teaching friends out there (of which there are many!)

I would like to share the following excerpt from New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman's speech at the commencement of Williams College on June 5 last year.

It goes like this: 'The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued this way: 'What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher? You know, it's true what they say about teachers: Those who can do, do, and those who can't do, teach.''

To corroborate his statement he said to another guest, 'Hey, Susan, you're a teacher. Be honest, what do you make?''

Susan, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness, replied, 'You want to know what I make? I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could and I can make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence.

'I can make a C-plus feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor and an A feel like a slap in the face if the student didn't do his or her very best.' Susan continued, 'I can make parents tremble when I call home or feel almost like they won the lottery when I tell them how well their child is progressing.'

'Gaining speed, she went on: 'You want to know what I make? I make kids wonder, I make them question, I make them criticize, I make them apologize and mean it, I make them write and I make them read, read, read. I make them show all their work in maths and hide it all on their final drafts in English.'

'Susan then stopped and cleared her throat. 'I make them understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart. And if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make in money, you pay them no attention.''Susan then paused. 'You want to know what I make?' she said. 'I make a difference. What about you?'

Yesterday was the release of the ‘O’ level results… my first batch… the overall results weren’t good and I was kinda disappointed by a couple of my kids that I spent a lot of time on when they didn’t score distinctions (actually I should be glad that they managed to pass at all!). But in the afternoon amidst walking around the school attending to various CCA matters, I was stopped by several of my ex-students… saying simply, “Thanks, we scored A1”. One kid that was very worried about his results last year called out to me from the 3rd floor when he saw me walking back to the staff room, “Laoshi thanks! I got my A1!”

In actuality… I don’t think I did a lot for these kids... they worked hard on their own for their own results. I simply answered questions and talked to them when they lost confidence. But perhaps in my own little way of giving them that extra bit of time… I did make a little difference… and that makes all the difference in the world to me when I see them….

Reading the above passage, I don’t know if I make all that much difference in my kids’ world. But I know I do make them read, read read. *grins* For many of us who are in the teaching line… its often tiring and tedious and never-ending….but one thing it is not… it’s not thankless. Especially when you see that little bit of difference you make… Here’s hoping all of us remember that in the daily grind of our life…

Draining week...

Now Playing: Dancing Through Life - Wicked Soundtrack

Had an extremely busy and tiring week…. The bones are now aching in a show of defiance against the torture I subjected them to…

Monday’s Jazz and Merengue got me home at an hour of 11 meaning I only managed to fall into bed after midnight, muscles burning from the two hour exercise…

Tuesday was dinner and play Long House with XP. We stayed for the post show talk with the director and playwright… thus I again got home at 11…

Wednesday, my Lion Dance had a outside performance at MICA in which we completed the seemingly impossible feat of carrying the drum and drum cart up the lorry by again roping in my poor ex-students… and after which was a swimming and sauna session with Mom which was satisfyingly hot and strenuous... the good thing was I got home early and was in bed by 10.

Thursday, an unusually stretched out pilates session and an extremely fulfilling dinner with JX after…

Friday is the first 2nd level U&I class… and Vincent was out to prove the difference between 1st and 2nd level by teaching 5 complicated sequences in which I’m starting to realize that my shoulders are in actuality not mine at all….

Saturday is my ambitious day to watch 2 plays in a day, Mahjong Eclipse and the Last Night of Jin Taipan, the latter ending at the hour of 11… with much delayed shopping done in between, exercising both the body and mind with the bonus of the wallet........

And now we are at Sunday… with my essays yet unmarked and the common tests papers coming in tmr….

华裔 06

今晚看了《金大班的最后一夜》，也不知是否因为之前的期望过高，使我三个小时后有点失望。尤其是对刘晓庆的演绎，整场戏看了下来，没有丝毫的感动，只觉做戏的味道过重。

从开场时，金大班首次现身，在夜巴黎舞厅的门口一站，应该是惊艳，却只见一个徐娘半老却非风韵犹存的女子做作的摆pose。接下来和童得怀的骂戏，原是我 很期待的一场戏，刘晓庆演来泼辣有余，却少了金兆丽的那一股锐气，十足象个泼妇骂街。最后那三声“哼”更是可笑，这就是金大班的狠辣气势？

台北夜巴黎的戏还看得下去，至少刘晓庆把金大班的苍凉与看尽风月的冷眼演了出来。但上海百乐门的那几场戏却真是让人失望。十里洋场的头牌舞女打扮 得那么媚俗已让人无法忍受，再加上女主角夸张的演绎，我真的看不到一个聪明伶俐，风姿绰约的金兆丽。更加看不出这女子凭什么成为上海的当红舞小姐。金兆丽 虽性格爽朗善良，但也八面玲珑，手段厉害。否则如何能在歌舞场中打滚二十年？听到台上的金兆丽的嚎哭时，实在忍不住皱眉，因为真的与我在小说中读的金兆丽 相差太远，再年轻的玉观音，也不该那样嚎哭，骨子里的坚韧要强不容许她下这个面子。

也许是小说让我感觉太过完美了，使我对歌舞剧百般挑剔。尤其玉观音金兆丽的形象在我心中太过鲜明，使我无法接受刘晓庆的版本。听说原来制作人想找巩俐或梅艳芳来演，真想看看她们的金大班会是如何。

不过下午的《非常麻将》却真的很精彩。三个演员与饰演的角色已成一体，丝毫没有演戏痕迹。剧本也让人回味无穷。这部戏有《等待果陀》的味道却没有《等》剧 的沉闷与乏味，可以说是这次的华裔我看的三部戏中最好的一部。《长屋》剧本可还算扣人心弦，但演员的功力毕竟还是差一截，演员始终无法融入角色。尤其竟然 还出现忘词的情况，实在很难原谅。不知何时，新加坡的戏会有人艺的水准？

Pre-CNY days

Typing this in school now in between marking journals that I have to finish in order to return my class tomorrow so that I can set homework for the weekend to give me more marking to do next week…. Ha…it’s a vicious cycle. (also in between of being called out by students for various misc. items including arrangement of tables and chairs...)

The week before CNY celebrations was not a good week… Besides been in charge of wushu which has two, TWO performances on the day of the celebrations itself meaning the entire week is taken up by rehearsals both dry and wet, I'm also unhappily in charge of the decorations meaning the week was spent running around the school monitoring students hanging up the various lanterns and red cloths, not to mention looking for poor students to hang the stuff up itself. Therefore, for the duration of the week, I was running around in between both rehearsals as well as wherever my students are hanging up decorations!

As if this is not enough, one of my wushu kids twisted his knee on Tuesday and I had to send him to the hospital…(I had to attend a meeting on Tuesday too so it ended up I was supposed to be at 4 places at the same time?!) And all kinds of misc. stuff was stirred up too because of this incident (accident reports, talking to coach, talking to parents etc etc etc), all adding to the whole cauldron of stuff on my already too full plate…esp since my poor kid is rendered immobile… thank goodness he is still in good spirits. He's really a good kid.

Seeing the week as thus, I'm proud of the fact that I still managed to exercise nearly everyday. Jazz on Monday, swimming on Wednesday, pilates on Thursday and U&I plus salsa on Friday. I managed to complete the full schedule! On such a week too!

In the end, Friday's celebrations turned out well. Both the lion dance and wushu performances were well received and I got a lot of compliments from other teachers despite the hiccups beforehand. Thursday's rehearsals sucked so much, the kids were all tired out from training non-stop since nov and horribly dispirited by Tuesday's incident. I was all ready for an awful performance, but they bucked up on the day itself… They are such a good bunch… the decorations were all up and ready… thanks to some of my ex-students who happened to be hanging around when I was desperate for help… and they did so without complain. Rewarded them all with goodies which are really not enough..

But I was all ragged by this time… after the celebrations and visiting my student in the hospital… so needed a break. Discovered that I forgot to bring suitable exercise clothes for U&I, so decided to go shopping at Seiyu. Wanted to buy suitable slacks and exercise tee anyway (being substituting shorts and t-shirts). So it ended up my new year clothes are exercise slacks and tees… haha..,

Met Sher for lunch and we had waffles. And she gave me such a sweet pressie! Its one of a kind and has a very special meaning for the both of us. We talked about how we don't meet up as often anymore… leaving us all nostalgic for our uni days..

Watched Memoirs of the Geisha… it really followed the book… know that some of my friends don't like it.. but I found that all that I didn't like about it are points that I didn't like about the book too… the abruptness of the ending twist being one. It kept all the parts that I liked about the book and the scenes are pretty, so it was okay. The three actresses lived up to the hype too so I'm not disappointed. Looking forward to Pirates and Casanova though. Also contemplating watching Brokeback again especially since its not going to be cut at all.

And that's the Pre-CNY days….

高行健

昨天和家人去了高行健的水墨画展，看了他跟《焦点》的访问和香港为他做的一个节目。也看了他的戏《八月雪》的几个片断，读了几页《灵山》。

不喜欢高行健。不喜欢他那自负又故作超然的态度。弟弟说艺术家都必须够骄够傲才能成功。妈妈说他有傲的本事。是吗？可我看过许多和高一样有本事的大家，一站在讲台上或与人交谈时，谦谦君子的风度自然流露，让人打从心底佩服。已达巅峰却仍保持谦逊之心，这才是所谓的成功。高行健自言艺术家是世界公民，一切只以人性为重。认为自己已脱离世俗眼光，作品被称超凡脱俗，戏剧禅意深远。是吗？

也许是我眼光庸俗，仍旧无法看得明白。傲不是不好，自负也非坏事，但太过骄纵的人，却又如何能够真正理解生命？ 一个故作清高的艺术家，又如何放低身段去了解何谓人性？一个超然脱俗的人，自认在乎的东西不多了，却在言语中流露对中国的埋怨。总觉得在听一个被赶出家门的孩子说不需要家的气话。虽然自称不在乎，语气的酸意却欲盖弥彰。无法放下，如何无我？明镜亦非台，何处染尘埃。若非无物，尘埃拭后仍来，徒留指纹在在。

哎，说了这么多，也不是说这个全球华人的首个诺贝尔奖得主不好。虽然他似乎挺埋怨得了这个奖。喜欢他说的一句话：“人的终极目标是在此刻当下，生命本身。” 能说出这样的话的人，总有值得人佩服之处。也许，只是我自己不懂而已。

无论如何，好久没一家人一起出门了。也真的挺开心的。

At the End of the Day

Now Playing: At the End of the Day - Emi Fujita

Misc. items for the past two weeks include a cousin outing which shows that I do follow up to what I say! Haha.. it wasn’t a very successful one though coz another cousin couldn’t make it becoz of work and my own brother was off filming the rain of all things.. We’ll try to get another more complete one in when cny rolls by…

Had my first vocal lesson with the second one due today. Also have a few lesson due to start next week… jazz, body movement and merengue if it isn’t cancelled… pilates was supposed to start last week but Helen couldn’t make it. But I managed to pull Lirong down for dinner and we had quite a chat so it wasn’t all a wasted trip...

Gab came over last Sat for a rest in between his many dates and we went down to Orchard together where we had respective dates for the night… caught a glimpse of his latest girl before I met Fen for dinner.

Also met JL and Shufen on the 2nd for lunch at My Humble Home. Always wanted to try the fusion food there… and it was really yummy. I had duck cigar roll which is juz a glam name for spring roll but it was very crispy and the sauce was just right.

Also got my gift from P from JL… Wicked soundtrack! And he really wrapped it up and added a surprise which turned out to show how sweet but silly he is…it brings back memories of that perfect night….

All in all, the first two weeks of 2006 have been quite fruitful… work-filled yes, but with little nuggets of fun in between… and I do enjoy the work despite all my whining and grumbling… It’s fun dealing with my kids and I had a few successful classes with my sec 1 kids that show great promise. My Sec 3s is another story but I’ll just try harder… Miss my Sec 4s, but I do see them now and again, the cheeky terrors… However, friends have been saying I look tired and colleagues comment that I look less “fresh” compared to last year…

Looking back the past two weeks of running to and fro…somehow the days seem to mesh altogether… I always seem to tell myself the same thing and yet forget it the very next minute, to take things slower… to take each day as it comes… to count my blessings at the end of each day...

Tomorrow's just a dream away
Close the curtain on today

Concerts and stuff....

Now Playing: Every Breath You Take - Emi Fujita

*surfaces and dusts off the journal*

I am definitely not good at keeping a journal… its been 2 weeks since I’ve last updated! Darn… must work harder at this..

What’s new in the life? School started which is the major reason for the lack of updates, been dizzy running around recently busy with the CCA which did 3 shows recently, 2 for the orientation and the last which isn’t really a show but had so many darn rehearsals for a less than 3 minutes “welcome” and a less than 2 minutes finale…for 5 minutes worth of show, it took numerous rehearsals through the past 2 weeks and 2 full days down at UCC. Is it worth it? Well… all I know was I breathed a lot easier when it was all over.... there was so many nitty-gritty little things to look out for… minor ones including the fact that the lion heads must have someone looking after them at all times, there was two shows at the UCC therefore two guest-of-honors arriving and I had to make sure the lion heads only appeared after the other show guest-of-honor arrives (it didn’t help that I’m not into politics and had absolutely no idea what the minister of state looked like and had no idea who among the many vvips is the guy!). Added to all is the incessant chatter of my girls… I have a near-migraine by the time I get home each night…

My co-teacher-in-charge was laughing at me when I muttered for the darn guest-of-honor to get in the hall so I can get my boys to carry the silver cart with the enormous drum across the hall and stow it away safely for the night. Yes, carry, coz UCC is afraid that rolling it over with it rubber-soled wheels will scratch their precious marble floor... but at that point… all I wanted was for it all to be over…

Thank goodness 50 years only comes once every… erm… 50 years… hopefully the next time another 50 years rolls around, I’ll only have to turn up before the show starts and settle in comfortably to enjoy it…

Still, it’s a worthwhile experience… for the whole school to work together to put up a show, one can really feel the school spirit… like BH said… 50 years doesn’t come by easily…

And although I didn’t tell them, I’m really proud of my wushu kids… they did really well for both the wushu show in the orientation and the welcome and finale last night… I can really see the change in them… from the nervous first time they had to perform on the parade ground for the “lighting of eyes” ritual, to the poise they showed last night… I was biting my nails for fear that they’ll miss the finale cue but they came exactly on time…

They have been training almost daily since the holidays started last year and for long hours each time (I’m talking from 11am to 6pm)… I know they are tired and their parents aren’t very happy with the long hours and frequent trainings… but other than the few times they come to me and ask when their last performance is, they barely complained… they are good kids, incessant chatter and all… and the poor things will have a long time to wait before they can take a break... the upcoming show for cny is due in two weeks and after that is the Chinese Culture Fortnight...

New Year's Eve

Now Playing : Casablanca - Bertie Higgins

Went dancing last night with Nick and Adrian, had lots of fun and it was a great stress-reliever after a work-filled week. It was wonderful to see Nick again although he looks so tired… he had a work-filled holiday compared to me. Hope the 3 hours of dancing helped, we only got home after 2! Met a cousin whom I didn’t recognize, he changed so much but we did grow up together… so bad of me…I don’t meet my cousins often enough except for Jia… Perhaps we should organize another cousin outing for CNY? Hm… in addition to organizing the darn CNY celebrations itself for the school. Argh.

School started early for us ‘chers with full day seminars and meetings and before-start-of-school work this week… its also the time when our work throughout the year gets distributed…. Feeling extremely overwhelmed with the sheer workload lined up….the first half of the year looks geared for insanity. But now there’s a 3 day respite before the madness begins. Will try to get in more rest than fun for these 3 days… But going down to Union Sq for the countdown tonight again to get in more dancing after meeting Shimei for dinner :p

Watched a couple of films recently too… Caught Narnia yesterday… it’s an excellent film, gorgeous vistas and the acting was marvelous considering the child actors…and from what I remembered, it remained quite loyal to the book. It made me want to re-read the entire Narnia series…remember loving the novel when I read it as a kid..

Also watched Pride and Prejudice… now I understand why Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy are the favorite fiction couple of many of my friends. They are amazingly subtle and romantic and so snarky! Have never read the novel but its now near the top of my list.

Going to catch Letters Home tonight at the concourse… anyone else goin sms me! Also going to try to catch Merry Christmas at Cathay before school starts somehow… otherwise, the first two days of the year is looking to be quiet and relaxing… hope it’ll be a good omen for the entire year… *dreams as my outlook calendar mocks me*

August Wilson

Now Playing: Brahms Lullabye - Kenny G

When flipping open the Playbill for Altar Boyz, I was struck by the first page with line “two weeks to the day after playwright August Wilson died of cancer…”

I’m not really familiar with the works of August Wilson, having never watched any of his ten renowned long plays, but I did meet him once in Seattle in his solo autobiographical monologue, The August Wilson Project, subtitled How I learned what I learned. My major impression was the plate on the door stating that the play will run for 4 hours and 30-sth minutes which made P want to go home straightaway… it turned out to be joke on how long his plays always run.

I don’t actually remember much of the content of his monologue on his life but for bits and pieces… I remember that his life wasn’t easy and admired him of making so much out of it. I remember him as a somewhat cynical man who have seen a lot and done a lot, someone old and tough but not lacking in wit and extremely sharp. P actually remembers more details…

I didn’t know who August Wilson was when I decided to queue for the show at Seattle Rep. Theatre 2 years ago; it was more of an impulse thing… I still didn’t know who August Wilson was when we left but for the fact that this is one guy that has really lived his life… and now thinking back… I don’t think he has any regrets….

And I guess that’s all I know now about him...as a person that has really lived his life. And for that fact, I feel really lucky that we had a chance to see him and hear him share about his life… I’m glad we didn’t leave that night at seeing the plate stating that the play will run for 4 hours…

Home sweet home…

Now Playing: Silver Bells - Kenny G


Reached home and am sick… miss Boston and P terribly… miss the days of lazing around in the room with snow on the windowsills and hot tea in hand and good book on the lap… miss being able to bug P to go out and the laughter in the crisp, cold air…. Didn’t get enough of either this time with the usual two months cut down to two weeks and the days in New York…

Wrote the diary of the past few days manually during transit in Detroit and am too lazy to repeat here esp with me sniffling and coughing every few minutes… have to report to sch in awhile too…and can anyone tell I’m feeling sorry for myself? Ugh, have to snap out of this…

Having my short list of 20 Christmas songs on a loop to keep me uplifted and in a X’mas mood… miss 106.7 with their endless christmas songs...

Two weeks left of holidays… minus the days I have to go to sch, I have approx 9-8 days to myself… want to watch a few films, Narnia, Pride and Prejudice and Geisha when it comes out… anyone interested call me…

Snow

Now Playing: Seasons of Love - Original Broadway Cast

Happy, wonderful snowy day today….

Woke up to a snow-covered Boston…went out to find that its still snowing, light and steady snow that covered the ground rapidly… When we got out of the T, the snow was getting icier and we wondered if its going to snow the whole day…

Watched Rent, the film version. It was as fabulous as the musical itself… they cut some parts but somehow, the real-life shots of Ave A itself, the iron-cast building Mark and Roger stayed in, the subway and the nightclub Mimi danced in… everything made the entire telling more coherent and realistic than the musical….not to say that that the film version is better thou.. they both have their qualities…loved Mark’s film at the end. Its what I missed seeing in the musical. It made for a very good conclusion of the show… and Mimi was gorgeous!

Emerged from the show to discover that the snow has actually gotten heavier! Huge flakes of the snow falling over Boston Common and its really gigantic flakes… we can see crystal designs..… It was stunning, the Christmas lights twined in the trees sparkling through the crystal flakes… We originally wanted to walk to the library but decided to opt for taking the T instead….Trinity looked like a snow-covered cottage through the blurred snowy view….…

Had a good haul in the library… even found a book on a shelf that I was on reserve for… althou what is it doing on the shelf when I already reserved it several weeks earlier is anyone’s guess…. I did a twirl on the lobby while waiting for the books and the librarian laughed and said that the snow is making me so happy that I’m dancing! Well, books and snow are always an intoxicating mix for me : )

We went to Copley Mall for lunch at the sushi bar and a spot of window shopping… originally wanted to adjust the bracelet P got for me for X’mas but discovered that there’s a 2 week wait… decide to wear it by hooking it through one of the loops instead… by now, there’s a wind to contend with together with the snow…. In the trek from the library to the mall, I can literally feel the icy chips striking at my face… it hurts like a blizzard! The roads are all covered and one can barely see the steps up to the library… We came out all frosted like an icing cake and I was laughing the whole time… its so fun :)

Went to the Coop to buy a couple of books that I wanted to get for the flight home… Wicked by Maguire and Brokeback Mountain… By now, the snow have cleared and the air was crystal clear… the scenery seems extra-defined, the silver-tipped trees and pristine powder-laden pathways and lawns…and a beautifully soft rose-gold sunset in the distance even though its barely 4pm…

Topped it all off with a warm bath, which after a freezing day is absolute bliss…

Film, music, books, snow, sushi, warmth and P by my side through it all… all my favorite things in the world…it’s a wonderful Christmas…

p/s: just discovered that the national weather service in taunton issued a winter storm warning of a snowfall of 6 or more inches for a 12-hour period from sunrise onwards..."anyone planning travel should monitor later forecasts and be prepared to modify travel plans"... guess we were too late for that *grins*

New York, New York

Juz came back from 3 days in New York. As my brother was there... it was 3 art-filled days...

Spent the first day in MoMA where I was mesmerized by Monet's triptych and Pollack's huge drip-art painting. Also saw a number of paintings that I've only heard of before.. Dali's Persistence of Memory, Van Gogh's Starry Night... There was also an amazing photograph gallery. It snowed at night when we were at West 4th...

2nd day was back to Chelsea's art galleries. There was a collection called Liquidation that I fell in love with... the dreamy landscapes and secretive trees... If I have the money... I'll definitely buy at least 2-3 of the works... We split up to different shows at night and I went to Altar Boyz, an off-broadway production that had all its audience in stitches. It was great fun althou I felt it could have gone deeper. But the songs were wonderful and it had a lot of heart in it. They got a standing ovation and the entire theatre setting was very intimate which is what I liked. For a TKTS ticket, I sat 3rd row centre which was unbelievable luck by itself. The theatre itself left an impression. Its the same theatre we watched Naked Boys Singing in, but I didn't notice it at that time. Its a cineplex converted into a 5-theatre ...erm.. theatreplex? Quite unique in a sense and thus all the theatres are quite small.

3rd day morning was spent wandering around the snow-covered Central Park while my brother searched for the elusive Bethesda fountain. We started from our hostel st. at 106th and walked by the Conservatory and North Meadows which is a area I've never explored before. Spent approx 2 hours simply crossing from one point to another... after which I left for my play while they went off to the Met.

Watched Seascape by Edward Albee...It was a very deep play with a veneer of comedy... I originally thought it was about the relationship between an old couple, the quirks and the way they live and think together... however, when the lizards appear, everything took on a different dimension. It turned out to be about evolution instead... but it still seems to be able to play another way... Went to Albee's Q&A session at the Lincoln at 630 and after hearing his piece and seeing the way he answer questions... I came out with more questions than answers... Its a really interesting play. For a play written 30 years back, its still very much related to the current day situations... or perhaps its becoz people never really changes...

Had some time in between before I was to meet my mom and brother for the Wicked lottery, so I went to the library... took some time to walk through the Christmas Fair at Bryant Park which really gets one into the X'mas spirit. All the red and green and white tents done up in sparkling lights and twines... the little trinkets... There was a couple of exhibitions in the library as well to take up my time and Astor Hall was simply beautiful... a huge Christmas Tree with all the golden light reflecting off the marbled halls and steps...

Left the library slightly late and did a 10 block sprint from the 40th and 5th to the 50th and 8th in order to make it for the lottery which of coz we didn't win... argh. But In My Life cancelled on us so we'll try for the cancellation line on our last night in New York..

Anyway, one amazing piece of news... was on a search for this cosy restaurant on the Upper West Side...above 63rd... that P and I went to on our first trip to NYC. Remembered it had a fireplace and the food was delicious... I always thought that I read about it in my trusty DK guide but after a couple of searches, I could never find it. Spent almost an hour trawling up and down between 69th to 71st yest. afternoon with no luck. I almost gave up and thought it a lost cause. But yesterday night, mom and I left Lincoln for dinner and was just walking up Colombus planning to stop at the first promising restaurant, I actually saw it! W 68th St.! I almost couldn't believe my eyes! And the place is still the same with the roaring fireplace and we were sat right back at the same table. The dinner menu isn't as good as the brunch menu we ate the first time but the smoked salmon is still delicious. I'm so happy that I found it again :)

Was almost late for my 10pm bus at Chinatown.. did a sprint down Canel St (I seem to be running everywhere yesterday) and just made it in time. Left at 10pm and reached Boston at 2am... Slept through most of the trip...

And now its the first lazy day I've had in weeks... woke up at 12 and cooked lunch with P and JL... going to spend the day doing absolutely nothing....

Back and Gone..

Now Playing: 珊瑚海 - 周杰伦

Touched down this morning at 6am, but was delayed at the airport due to my dear student who left her passport in the magazine pocket of the plane… haiz. Blur like sotong... but she’s a sweet girl that reminds me a lot of myself. That’s something I would do when I was young too, I remember leaving my diary which was never recovered in the exact same place when I was twelve… She supposedly looks a lot like me too! Rendy kept telling me that a girl in his class resembles me and apparently its her.

The 6 day trip is full of little details that are swimming around my mind now… my first experience of being in charge of students overseas… too many to say so I’ll probably end up not saying anything… kinda miss my dear kids that are very guai but never shut up… the bus journey filled with laughter and songs and lame jokes and non-understandable games…

Met kq for dinner one night at Wu Dao Kou that looks nothing like the Wu Dao Kou I remember… wanted to go Yu Tai Lang but he recommended another Jap place with half price for sushi, it isn’t anything like the jap places that I remember but the food was delicious and we went to Sculpting in Time Wu Dao Kou’s branch for cake and tea. Yes, Diao Ke has a branch in WDK and also god-knows-where around Beijing… remember the times when there was only one branch and the afternoons I spent there staring out of the window with my work in front of me and a jug of lavender tea…. This new branch looks exactly like the Diao Ke I remember…

The Ps and Heads knew I wanted to go back to PKU for a visit so they arranged it that I could join the Beida Fuzhong group on the afternoon of the PKU tour as I was actually in charge of the Shida Fuzhong group… they are really nice pple and took great care of me when I was there… the campus was still the same… from Weimin to Wumei… I wanted to go back to Weimin at night…. But didn’t get a chance…

Met Lin in the afternoon for chestnuts. Heard so many good things about it that I had quite high expectations. It was pretty good although the first part had way too many star wars and it was a little too pink. But I loved the Rent spoofs and the past year theatre review which summed up the local theatre year scene pretty well. It’s a good way to end the year and both Jon Lim and Hossan Leong are quality humorists.

And now… to pack and bath before I have to run for another flight…and my dear brother only just got home. He was attending a full day film workshop of some sorts for the past few days and has yet to pack as well (althou he did win some film competition of sorts)….it’ll be a rush for time for the next few hours….

Ramblings...

Now Playing: Light My Candle – Rent Original Broadway Cast

Dead tired… Its 2am and I woke up at 7am this morning due to a disgusting spam mail that got my mom all paranoid. Argh. Still very vexed at the thought that I got woke up for a spam mail! Got so mad that I emailed P to do some darn thing to kill off the spammers’ email acct.

Went back to school to attend to a few misc. stuff regarding tmr’s trip and to finish up the lesson plans. Most of the staff are back as it was the 50th Anni concert rehearsal as well as cca day. Met many of the teachers that weren’t around for the past 2 weeks due to marking. Felt very happy : ) I really like the rapport and r’ship that our department share… appreciate it even more after hearing the horror stories some of my friends share about their school. We really care about each other in our department, teasing and helping each other out… I actually sit nearer to the English dpt and we also share a lovely r’ship. They feel more like friends than colleagues… All of them know that I’m flying off tmr and they all teased me, knowing that I’m the type that won’t have packed yet. And when I left for the day, many of them esp “sent” me off with well wishes and requests for stuff from China… felt like part of a family…

Only left the school at near to 5 despite plans to leave earlier… work is always never ending… whenever I go back to school, there never seems to be time to even sit down properly… there’s always people to see, tasks to complete, errands to run… whenever I’m preparing to leave, something else would come up…. But finally got most of the little errands done and the lessons plans completed at stage 1… yes… there’s still a stage 2 waiting for me when I get back…

Met Nekko for Rent at night. Our seats were actually horribly far back… but expected nothing more as we bought the cheapest tix (which already cost 80 bucks!) But the musical was excellent! There were a few screw ups with the lighting and acoustics as it was the first day I guess, but it didn’t detract the quality of the musical. Its still pure power. The music is amazing, all the rage and energy vibrating… We were so far back that I can’t see the faces at all but I still cried when Angel died… Karen Mok was better than I expected too..

Went down to Union Sq. to meet my salsa classmates after Rent… its really insane and I only reached Union Sq. at 1130pm. But I really wanted to dance! And I did manage to dance a lot tonight. Danced mostly with Nick who showed me the new moves he learnt in his two classes of LA style. Danced with few other odd guys that asked and had one dance with our Cuban instructor. The Latinas sang live at about 1am and they were really fabulous. I discovered a quiet room at the back of Union Sq with live singing of ballades. It’s a good hideout when we want a short rest from dancing! Danced for 2 hours till about 130am and Nick sent me back…. Exhausted from the day but its worth it…

But now its about 230 am and I’m due at the airport at 2pm tmr and I haven’t even touched any of my packing yet! Not to mention all the little misc. stuff I have to do before flying… of which I can’t remember any at all…except I know the fact that I haven’t got moisturizer yet…

Still… I’m sleeping first…everything else will have to come later…hitting the bed the moment my hair dries…

workshop completed

3rd day of the workshop.

Qingliang started by sharing some of experiences in using drama techniques for vocational institutes students who are more hyperactive. The idea is to be flexible and to do something that they can identify with. What he used was to ask them to do an action or an image for every hour of the day and a mood/hour demographic graph.

从他们的剧象/动作中，找出他们的问题。

QL kept reminding us not to do psycho-analysis. We are not psychologists. Too often, teachers see a problem and rush to take over and solve it. No, what we should do is to seek the problem, uncover it for the students to see, take a step back, and allow the students themselves to solve it. Sometimes, we don’t even need to know what the root of the problem is, as long as the students themselves know… that’s enough…they are the one that would know what to do… not us.

5 roles of a teacher
- 操控者（尤其操控节奏）
- 参与者（施与受的平衡）
- 引导者（提问的技巧）
- 扮演者（地球妈妈的例子，教师扮演妈妈，让学生问）
- 观察者（聆听的重要性）


The activities and games aren’t there to arouse interest. They are there to create 冲突。 激发学生，挑起他们的身心意。We should never use the games juz to arouse interest… All the games have a certain element of danger. That’s becoz that’s life. Games reflect life… and in every game, we see a miniature society…

游戏往外fox 往内net

Games of the day:
- Couple up with one blindfolded and the other making a sound. Seek the other by sound - >emphasis on the process,
- 1,2,3…..+1 game. For every one in the group to say one diff number without setting a plan beforehand -> emphasis in 默契/节奏
- Dream sequence 冥想 using the vocab from a text -> coupled with music and imagination. .. it quiets the class down.
- >They might play a fool and not take part, but some part of it will go in
to them subconsciously… - 最珍贵的宝贝 vs. 扶持你的人：对比
- Magnetic Image. Use a short play to express your feelings of the 3 day course
- > ideas brought out by others’ play… what do one give up for teaching?

Tableaux
Grp 1: intertwined hands of yesterday

Grp 2: Image
Ideal -> real step by step.
Use Internal Monologue before asking them to use 2 words, color, sound to express their thought. Ask them to make the sound in the end. 内心独白的酝酿再表达。 声音更能把情绪表达出来 – 是创作的起点

Give 3 wishes to each of the participants to change the image.

Grp 3: Image
Ask the audience which who do they identify with in the image and to join them in the same pose. Then do a mass monologue. Ask “I want…?”
寻找共鸣点。 群体运作。观众进入画面，不再有观众，画面不再单独。
压迫者教学法-〉非个人，而是社群互助。
听了大家的独白后，深化原来摆画面的人的内心，累积了全部人的独白。
再启动一个人去改变画面（画面的主体）
改得不真实？问观众能否接受。 Reverse forum technique
Dropping to the universe – freeze the image/action and ask his emotions/thought. Going from subjective to objective


Grp 4:
Ask “What are you afraid of? …Why?...” Peeling off the onion layer by layer
To seek the fear and the root of the fear. (go back and write, why are you afraid as the role)

Tableaux
- uses many diff technique
- centers around “ what I want”/ “what I fear”
- 欲望和恐惧
- 彩虹的欲望与恐惧 – 多色多层，两者交战
- cops in the head – 以不同的技巧拨开剧象的多层面
- remember to do it progressively... from want to fear, going deeper step by step
- Never assume you understand the tableaux
- Honour every word
- STOP. LOOK.THINK.TALK
- Aternative: Boxing match. Lots of action with the audience coming up to give the roles ideas in what to do. Eg. Mom/Daughter fight
- HW: write letters/reflection and exchange them the next day. Online Blog


Importance of rituals:
Starting the day off sitting in a circle and ending the day off sitting in a circle and doing a monologue.
Rituals give a sense of completeness and security

Way to break thru the first sense of awkwardness ：Doing pair tableaux. One person to use the other to form his/her image. No ownership and thus no awkwardness?

戏剧课常用的就大策略
1．热身游戏
2．剧场游戏（训练听、看、集中力、合作关系）
3．角色扮演：学生入戏、教师入戏
4．剧象
5．思路追踪
6．坐针毯
7．过程戏剧 & 专家外衣 Process Drama
8．论坛剧场 – 不同人上前取代角色解决问题

庆亮问了我们一个问题
我们在备课时，看的是一个礼拜，还是一年？
我们看学生时，看的是一年还是一生？
我们是在备知识，还是备生命？
我们是以教师的角度看，还是学生的角度看？

我的问题：我是在用心教书。但我有没有将心比心地以想过学生要的是什么？
我知道，太多时候，我只看一个礼拜，没看一年。
反思时，思绪太乱，我说不出什么。但一个老师说，我在扮演剧象时，无意间说出了一句话。庆亮问我怕什么，我说怕课永远无法上完。为什么？怕无聊。为什么？没意义。
没意义。我们有没有想过。上一堂课的意义在哪