Now Playing: For Good - Wicked Soundtrack
Days been pretty jammed recently… sometimes I wonder if I’m pushing myself too much… Dad commented that I’m out till late almost every night and he doesn’t know how I get the energy to get up every morning at six… (although I admit that the morning hour of 6am is the lowest point of my life every weekday).
Work is piling up, more often than not as my papers have come in and the annual holistic report is due… I’m really lucky in the sense that as I’m teaching translation, I only teach two hcl classes and therefore has a smaller marking load than other teachers. My co-form is a dear and takes half of the holistic report workload off me too…but the papers remain piled and don’t seem to lessen… Also been informed that I’m down for O level markings… which extends my marking season till end of Nov… already anticipating the brain-dead-ness…
Recently met an old friend by accident while going for my jazz class at Capital Towers… didn’t know that she actually works at Capital Towers and already has for two years… Managed to squeeze in an hour on Friday for a chat over coffee… Somehow this reminds me of how I’m not meeting up with my old friends… I do see Lin every now and then (more then than now) and I see Xuan for dance every week… but otherwise… all my dear friends, JX, Shimei, Zai, Jia and more… Friends that watched me grow and whom I grew up with… friends that have seen me at my best and my worst and know me inside out… I haven’t seen them for ages and when I do it’s usually once a year. It used to be because they were overseas and I was overseas (or as in Zai’s case, she’s still overseas)… but now we are all on this small little island and we still see each other about once a year… even if Jia stays 10 minutes away!
What is it about human beings that we take such things for granted?
During the chat with Xiao Gua on Fri… I discovered that she’s actually leaving for China next year… and that made me resolve to see her more often. We met last year for her birthday and it’s been almost a year since. Somehow it made me question myself, does it have to take the fact that she’s leaving to wake me up? If she isn’t leaving, when will I take the initiative to meet her again?
I used to pride myself on keeping in touch with my friends. Somehow, the ability slipped away as I started work and various other commitments like salsa and gym. And because all of us is so busy and it takes ages to plan a meet (it took JX and me a month to find a time to meet up for a birthday), sometimes I don’t even bother to make calls when I want to watch plays… I usually just go with my mom or myself. Only to find out that my friends usually do want to watch too… (Yea, Gab, this means you. I’m confessing here).
Time… everything boils down to time… With dance lessons 4 nights a week and gym at least 3 times a week and usually a play or a seminar or some other commitment on the other night and catching up on my work on Sundays… I’m usually rushing here and there with barely enough time for a meal in between sometimes…
But is it worth it? I know I’m doing what I want to do…and I really do enjoy everything I’m doing… I’m making friends through salsa and dance… but is it really worth it?
Nothing will ever replace my friends… people that really know me and still accept me for who I am… and somehow that never changes… when I talked to xiao gua on Friday… it was like the year in between with no contact never happened… we knew what each other was talking about and we could talk about everything, from life plans and worries to yoga classes… we could pick up the unvoiced nuances in what each other said... that kind of comfort only comes from shared history and friendship… and I wouldn’t want to give that up for anything…
But I do fear that I take it for granted… I know my friends wouldn’t change… oh, we will grow and mature… but who we are inside, that wouldn’t change…and our friendship wouldn’t change… but circumstances do… and I’m just not seeing my friends enough…
And I don’t ever want my friends to think that I do not appreciate them because I do… we have shared so much together over the years and nothing would ever take it away and its priceless… and I want to see them more often… not just the once a year for birthdays and before either of us go overseas… but regularly as we used to back in uni and school… I want to be able to talk about our troubles and to share our happiness and to know what’s going on in their lives…I want that closeness that we used to share on a daily basis…these people are more than friends to me…
But will it happen? Will be meeting up with Jia for her birthday and Fen in October… been making plans to meet up with Gab for Happy (a date that has yet to materialize)…but its all not enough….somehow…
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Aftermath... dancing....
Now Playing: Solo Por Un Beso - Aventura
Had the first late night in… months? Years? Haven’t stayed out so late for ages… I don’t know what made me stay in Union last night till 215am. My classmates were all surprised why “Cinderella” isn’t leaving at her 11pm curfew, and I actually stayed on after they left at 1am.
Just didn’t feel like going home.
Danced for six hours and did a lot of dances with guys that I always enjoy dancing with… really love the feeling of a good dance, dancing with a lead that doesn’t just have good technique but who actually feels the music and passion and dances with feeling…
Someone I don’t know and probably never danced with asked me by the dance floor last night if I was a good salsa dancer. It was a really weird question not to mention quite rude and out of the blue… but it set me thinking. Not about whether I’m a good salsa dancer or not… I suppose I’m adequate although I still can’t execute perfect double turns more often than not and my beat goes off at times as some of the dance partners that I dance with quite often say… but I do get compliments and enough dance requests to build my confidence on the dance floor :P (I’m really happy that I can go to union alone and still know enough people to keep me dancing as I did on Fri… it’s a long way from one year ago… )
Was talking with a guy friend yesterday by the dance floor and he asked me if I noticed how most of the guys at Union uses the same few moves and you never see a unique style…he seemed kinda demoralized (I can’t imagine why, he’s one of my favorite dance partners)…and he asked me why I enjoyed dancing with him because he thinks he’s the same… don’t remember my exact answer now but it was something like this. I do think that even if all the guys use the same technical moves, I get different feelings when I dance with different guys… the moves might be the same, but the passion is different. Some guys can execute perfect and complicated dance moves, but the dance can feel very cold. Some guys have very flashy styles, but you just can’t enjoy the dance.
Its not about the technique or looking good… its dancing with someone that makes you feel good, someone who makes the effort to protect you on the dance floor and immerses you into the music and the mood… even if its just doing basics and cross-body leads over and over again, it’ll still be fun and feel good… (and yes, I do dance with guys that do that).
I can’t explain exactly what it is about certain leads that really make me enjoy the dance… sometimes its just the feeling… like my last dance last night… it was a bachata dance and I still don’t really know the steps to bachata despite my 3 bachata workshops (yea, many apologies to the poor guys that danced bachata with me last night), but the dancer simply held me close and asked me to close my eyes and let him lead. So I did and I let the music overwhelm me… and it was one of the best dances of the night…
Had the first late night in… months? Years? Haven’t stayed out so late for ages… I don’t know what made me stay in Union last night till 215am. My classmates were all surprised why “Cinderella” isn’t leaving at her 11pm curfew, and I actually stayed on after they left at 1am.
Just didn’t feel like going home.
Danced for six hours and did a lot of dances with guys that I always enjoy dancing with… really love the feeling of a good dance, dancing with a lead that doesn’t just have good technique but who actually feels the music and passion and dances with feeling…
Someone I don’t know and probably never danced with asked me by the dance floor last night if I was a good salsa dancer. It was a really weird question not to mention quite rude and out of the blue… but it set me thinking. Not about whether I’m a good salsa dancer or not… I suppose I’m adequate although I still can’t execute perfect double turns more often than not and my beat goes off at times as some of the dance partners that I dance with quite often say… but I do get compliments and enough dance requests to build my confidence on the dance floor :P (I’m really happy that I can go to union alone and still know enough people to keep me dancing as I did on Fri… it’s a long way from one year ago… )
Was talking with a guy friend yesterday by the dance floor and he asked me if I noticed how most of the guys at Union uses the same few moves and you never see a unique style…he seemed kinda demoralized (I can’t imagine why, he’s one of my favorite dance partners)…and he asked me why I enjoyed dancing with him because he thinks he’s the same… don’t remember my exact answer now but it was something like this. I do think that even if all the guys use the same technical moves, I get different feelings when I dance with different guys… the moves might be the same, but the passion is different. Some guys can execute perfect and complicated dance moves, but the dance can feel very cold. Some guys have very flashy styles, but you just can’t enjoy the dance.
Its not about the technique or looking good… its dancing with someone that makes you feel good, someone who makes the effort to protect you on the dance floor and immerses you into the music and the mood… even if its just doing basics and cross-body leads over and over again, it’ll still be fun and feel good… (and yes, I do dance with guys that do that).
I can’t explain exactly what it is about certain leads that really make me enjoy the dance… sometimes its just the feeling… like my last dance last night… it was a bachata dance and I still don’t really know the steps to bachata despite my 3 bachata workshops (yea, many apologies to the poor guys that danced bachata with me last night), but the dancer simply held me close and asked me to close my eyes and let him lead. So I did and I let the music overwhelm me… and it was one of the best dances of the night…
Friday, September 22, 2006
郁
最近不知为什么，感觉郁郁。其实生活很丰富的。周日工作量很多，而且都是看得到成果的。上了几个进修课，包括一连三日很精彩的孔庆东的讲座。自己负责安排 的讲座刚结束。卷子也改了大部分。晚上都有课，而且也蛮有满足感。周末都去跳舞，现在都很享受跳舞的时候，已不再如刚开始时的僵硬，认识的朋友也多。最近 刚刚考了英文考试，感觉离与期盼的未来近了些。十二月的假也安排了差不多。时不时与父母一起吃饭，看戏。上周和妈妈看了弟弟的表演，这周和妈妈看电影。周 三和林一起去了间酒吧听音乐。周日上了个蛮不错的舞蹈课。又开始上爵士课。下周将和妈妈看《雷雨》，周六考翻译课程的入学试。日子可以说是精彩。但不知为 何，就是郁郁。
总有些小小的不如意。总使人感觉不甘，因此而不开心。如此的放不下，放不开。无法释怀，也就郁郁。平最近总是忙碌。感觉自己被冷落。却不由得想起，自己刚开始工作时是否也如此。但却无法释怀。习惯被宠，习惯他的嘘寒问暖，习惯他每日的电邮，习惯他任我予取予求。
孔老师的金庸讲座，让我忆起了在大学时的日子，和上一个真正好老师的一堂精彩的课的满足感。怀念当学生的感觉，读自己有兴趣的东西，发掘新的体会与知识的那种满足与兴奋。生活的自由，精神的丰富。
学生最近是让我开心地泉源。他们的乖巧，逗趣，偶尔的贴心举止。但，考试将临，他们的不懂事也是让我烦恼的泉源。总觉得，自己实在帮不了他们什么。
也不知我还要什么。不知道自己还缺什么。生活按计划而走，却不懂得享受这个过程，只懂得怀念。这样的人呀。
生亦何欢，死亦何忧，悠悠世人，自扰实多。
Sunday, September 03, 2006
What's in a bag?
Been lugging around a huge gym bag recently, and thus many friends’ greeting upon seeing me was not “hello” or “hey” but “what’s in the bag????” which prompted me to do this post which also helps me know exactly what am I lugging around???
Reminded somewhat of a local newspaper’s feature of detailing items in some celebrity's bag and decided to treat myself as a celebrity and do it that way with mini-explanations for each item, minus the cute celebrity photo :P
Shoes:
Ÿ white salsa character shoes, reason obvious
Ÿ black jazz shoes, for lyrical and ff’s groove & jazz and bodyjam classes
Ÿ blue track shoes/white dance sneakers in a black bbss shoebag, for step and combat classes
and yes, I do carry all three pairs of shoes around at days when I have all the classes!
Books:
Ÿ “Without You”, an autobiography I’m reading that P sent over from the states
Ÿ “Qingnian WenCai”, Chinese mag that the school ordered, great for short leisure reading and I’m using it to search for compre passages for the end-year paper I’m supposed to set
Ÿ Toefl guide book, borrowed from Eugene and my test is in two weeks!
Ÿ Blue Peking U jotter book, I have several such small notebooks, some pretty, some not. I use them to doodle and jot down notes… this one is already half filled with my Taiwan notes…
Utilities: since I joined the gym, I tend to shower before I go home… hence the many utilities pouches
Ÿ Shower pack, with my shampoo, facial cleanser etc in this waterproof black mesh bag that I keep in a plastic ziplock
Ÿ Moisturizer pack, a black kookai bag that holds a amazing array of moisturizers and toners etc for different times of the day and other extras like perfumes, combs etc
Ÿ Make up pouch, because I have some events recently like the RV dinner and JJ’s salsa party that requires make up…
Ÿ Jewelry pouch, to keep loose jewelry safe when I’m in the gym
Ÿ A change of clothes is usually in there too but it’s out the minute I get home…
Misc. Stuff:
Ÿ Ipod in a white drawstring pouch – for music
Ÿ iRiver mp3 player in a cute blue elephant pouch – I use this more as a usb drive and when my ipod batt dies on me
Ÿ my blue wallet (P has a matching grey one!) – holds my cards and cash
Ÿ 4 packets of tissue – I used to have none until I bought 4 for 1 dollar from a little boy at Maxwell last week
Ÿ Fitness First’s Sept/Oct schedule – I carry this all the time for easy reference
Ÿ Small packet of healthy snacks I bought from the Healthy Snack Day bazaar the school had last week… its quite yummy though I nickname it bird food
Ÿ And a piece of Dove Chocolate that my student gave me for teachers’ day
Ÿ Keys – on a green Chinese knot key chain my brother gave me back when I was fifteen
Ÿ My darling handphone in its amber handphone pouch – P bought this for me for our 5th Anniversary
Ÿ My Sec 3s’ formal letter papers – the current set of papers that I carry around all the time with the good intention of marking
Ÿ An array of red pens for marking and a single green pen for note-jotting
Ÿ A packet of red wet tissue I took from the ktv I went with my colleagues on teachers’ day – or to be more accurate, that Wanshi took and stuffed at me, saying that since we paid for it, might as well take it.
Ÿ A mismash of papers and bills lying right at the bottom of the bag that I do not dare to search through… it holds and is not restricted to my exams confirmation slips, information of various events I attended and have to attend like the Teacher Mass lecture and others I do not yet dare to think of…
Ÿ The Bag Itself! – a blue-grey Elle gym carry-all that I bought at Taiwan. I love it for carrying all my stuff without a complain :)
Monday, August 21, 2006
Tis' Life...
Had an extremely packed but fulfilling weekend…
My weekend started early on Friday night when I met up with Xuan for a quick dinner (p.s., there’s this mini bistro at Raffles Marketplace that sells quite yummy Saigon Baguette, refreshing filling and crispy bread, but must tell the girl to slice it else its very hard to eat) and the play, Salsa Salsa Salsa. I guess Homesick set quite a high bar… found Salsa x 3 slightly lacking with its choppy scenes and flubbed lines… still, for a first long play and the ability of the young playwright to get into the mind of 4 old ladies, its still a commendable effort.
Brought my students to Hwachong to attend a JC Seminar by NUS on Saturday morning, really enjoyed this outing. There was one lecture that was particularly interesting but that’s not the highlight. It was like a mass reunion, meeting up with my secondary school, jc and university teachers! I even met several ex-classmates-turned-teachers that were also bringing their students to attend. Caught up with kapoh who’s retiring end of this year… its sad… as he said, from next year onwards, when we step into the LEP room, there will be no familiar faces anymore… Also chatted with my uni prof who gave me several good suggestions on where to do my ma course. All the familiar faces made up for the slowly becoming unfamiliar campus… the two wings and canteen didn’t change, but the auditorium is one unfamiliar place… although one of my jc teachers commented that its actually deteriorating already…. Makes me feel old…
Rushed down afterwards for Belinda’s last jazz class… and probably also my last jazz class for awhile. She’s so sweet… and I’ll miss her so…
Went for a swim afterwards before salsa. Today is the complicated move that I remembered from Jan, didn’t help that I felt really tired…
Woke up at an unearthly hour on Sunday for the wushu competition… Reached school at 720am and the sports hall at 8am. Spent the whole day there as my kids’ last competition was at 4pm. Spent so much time and effort on this competition, both preparation and competing itself but it was all worth it, my kids did really well! We didn’t expect a single medal considering that we are so new and it’s an Open Championship. But we won 2 golds, 1 silver, 1 bronze and two placings of 4th and 5th. Really not bad at all for a first time try at the Open Championships! They are so moved that they actually cried on Saturday on winning our first gold. My sec 1s were in disbelief most of the time. Am really proud of them.
Went for dinner with my mom and dad after the competition at Sakae… I’m not spending enough time with them really… with my busy schedule… so was happy at the chance to spend some quality time with them.
Marked like mad for the weekend… have so many classes of essays, tests, letters and exercises that I’m slowly being flattened… Promised my Sec. 3s that they’ll be able to know their test results on Monday so was hiding in a corner at the sports hall on Sunday between my kids’ competition events to mark and stayed up last night to finish marking another class of essays. Will probably stay up tonight as well…. It’s the Annual Never-Ending Non-Stop August–October Marking Season again…. From CA to End-of-Year- to Mock Exams….
And so is life….
My weekend started early on Friday night when I met up with Xuan for a quick dinner (p.s., there’s this mini bistro at Raffles Marketplace that sells quite yummy Saigon Baguette, refreshing filling and crispy bread, but must tell the girl to slice it else its very hard to eat) and the play, Salsa Salsa Salsa. I guess Homesick set quite a high bar… found Salsa x 3 slightly lacking with its choppy scenes and flubbed lines… still, for a first long play and the ability of the young playwright to get into the mind of 4 old ladies, its still a commendable effort.
Brought my students to Hwachong to attend a JC Seminar by NUS on Saturday morning, really enjoyed this outing. There was one lecture that was particularly interesting but that’s not the highlight. It was like a mass reunion, meeting up with my secondary school, jc and university teachers! I even met several ex-classmates-turned-teachers that were also bringing their students to attend. Caught up with kapoh who’s retiring end of this year… its sad… as he said, from next year onwards, when we step into the LEP room, there will be no familiar faces anymore… Also chatted with my uni prof who gave me several good suggestions on where to do my ma course. All the familiar faces made up for the slowly becoming unfamiliar campus… the two wings and canteen didn’t change, but the auditorium is one unfamiliar place… although one of my jc teachers commented that its actually deteriorating already…. Makes me feel old…
Rushed down afterwards for Belinda’s last jazz class… and probably also my last jazz class for awhile. She’s so sweet… and I’ll miss her so…
Went for a swim afterwards before salsa. Today is the complicated move that I remembered from Jan, didn’t help that I felt really tired…
Woke up at an unearthly hour on Sunday for the wushu competition… Reached school at 720am and the sports hall at 8am. Spent the whole day there as my kids’ last competition was at 4pm. Spent so much time and effort on this competition, both preparation and competing itself but it was all worth it, my kids did really well! We didn’t expect a single medal considering that we are so new and it’s an Open Championship. But we won 2 golds, 1 silver, 1 bronze and two placings of 4th and 5th. Really not bad at all for a first time try at the Open Championships! They are so moved that they actually cried on Saturday on winning our first gold. My sec 1s were in disbelief most of the time. Am really proud of them.
Went for dinner with my mom and dad after the competition at Sakae… I’m not spending enough time with them really… with my busy schedule… so was happy at the chance to spend some quality time with them.
Marked like mad for the weekend… have so many classes of essays, tests, letters and exercises that I’m slowly being flattened… Promised my Sec. 3s that they’ll be able to know their test results on Monday so was hiding in a corner at the sports hall on Sunday between my kids’ competition events to mark and stayed up last night to finish marking another class of essays. Will probably stay up tonight as well…. It’s the Annual Never-Ending Non-Stop August–October Marking Season again…. From CA to End-of-Year- to Mock Exams….
And so is life….
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Another weekend's here...
Now Playing: Under the Weather - Kt Turnstall
It was a good week, partly due to the fact that there was only two days of school. Had quite a packed week though, but did mostly stuff that I liked doing and was doing for myself. Spoiled myself on Tuesday and Thursday and spent time with myself. Spent a lot of time with my family as well. Went to the gym with my mom on wed, and spent the day at home afterwards with my dad watching tv.
Met up with Lin on Thursday, with the both of us so busy, it was the first time we actually met up since the hols.
Watched Eleanor Wong’s Campaign on Friday after a extremely busy day at school. It wasn’t as good as Homesick, but it was still good. Guess it wasn’t personal enough for me. Watched it with Shuhui and Qinyu and we went for dinner/supper afterwards.
Took my kids down for translation competition on Sat morning to Changi. (got such a shock at the location when I first found out). I have really good kids for translation, it’s a competition that requires a lot of work and they are all so busy and piled up with work, yet they never fail to deliver. Even my backup who is even busier and won’t even really be taking part in the competition still did her work. I don’t know how we’ll do, but they have already done well for me and I'm so proud of them.
Went for Belinda’s jazz class afterwards and was so tired I lay down for a short nap since I was early. Went to the gym to swim after the class before going for salsa.
Yesterday night was a quiet night at union, but danced a lot; many friends turned up and had quite a good time.
Going to spend a quiet day today at home… woke up at 1pm! Finally going to get some marking done after the rude awakening that my class is due to write their 7th essay when I haven’t even marked the 5th and let them write their 6th…. I am so behind in my marking its slowly not being funny anymore…
Got two lovely presents this week…. A parcel from P which always brightens up my day with surprise postcards from DC where he stayed for a month and couldn’t find a single thing suitable for a memento and a sweet surprise from Lin of seaweed in the shape of animals she bought awhile back when I was feeling low. Feel so loved….
When I turn out the light, you're out of sight
Although I know that I'm not alone
Feels like home...
It was a good week, partly due to the fact that there was only two days of school. Had quite a packed week though, but did mostly stuff that I liked doing and was doing for myself. Spoiled myself on Tuesday and Thursday and spent time with myself. Spent a lot of time with my family as well. Went to the gym with my mom on wed, and spent the day at home afterwards with my dad watching tv.
Met up with Lin on Thursday, with the both of us so busy, it was the first time we actually met up since the hols.
Watched Eleanor Wong’s Campaign on Friday after a extremely busy day at school. It wasn’t as good as Homesick, but it was still good. Guess it wasn’t personal enough for me. Watched it with Shuhui and Qinyu and we went for dinner/supper afterwards.
Took my kids down for translation competition on Sat morning to Changi. (got such a shock at the location when I first found out). I have really good kids for translation, it’s a competition that requires a lot of work and they are all so busy and piled up with work, yet they never fail to deliver. Even my backup who is even busier and won’t even really be taking part in the competition still did her work. I don’t know how we’ll do, but they have already done well for me and I'm so proud of them.
Went for Belinda’s jazz class afterwards and was so tired I lay down for a short nap since I was early. Went to the gym to swim after the class before going for salsa.
Yesterday night was a quiet night at union, but danced a lot; many friends turned up and had quite a good time.
Going to spend a quiet day today at home… woke up at 1pm! Finally going to get some marking done after the rude awakening that my class is due to write their 7th essay when I haven’t even marked the 5th and let them write their 6th…. I am so behind in my marking its slowly not being funny anymore…
Got two lovely presents this week…. A parcel from P which always brightens up my day with surprise postcards from DC where he stayed for a month and couldn’t find a single thing suitable for a memento and a sweet surprise from Lin of seaweed in the shape of animals she bought awhile back when I was feeling low. Feel so loved….
When I turn out the light, you're out of sight
Although I know that I'm not alone
Feels like home...
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Weekend...
Had a full day of exercise on Saturday… counted when I met Eugene for dinner… it was about 7-8 hours! But somehow I’m not really aching anywhere today which is very good news. Muscles were screaming the whole of last week when I just started my exercise regime after joining my fitness centre. Hm… perhaps my body has adjusted to the change.
Yesterday was Vincent’s last class… quite sad… I’ll miss him so, he’s really the best instructor I’ve had… the one that can really motivate me to do the best I can. It doesn’t help that my other favorite jazz instructor is also leaving… Originally joined my fitness centre hoping that it can replace the jazz classes, but after taking one bodyjam class (supposedly the class that can replace my jazz classes), I’m starting to realize that its not quite the same thing… contemplating to try out O school… although how I’m going to be able to fit it in my current schedule is quite beyond my concept.
But I don’t regret joining my fitness centre despite the exorbitant fees…. The service is great and I still do like the classes, especially Body Balance. And for all that Body Jam lack in technique, it’s still a good workout. And so is Body Combat. And I love the saunas and steam rooms at all the clubs and the fact that I can shower and get my hair dry when I get home. Plus the view over the pool at One George St is absolutely gorgeous.…
All the exercise I’m doing is making me feel much better… somehow its clearing my head and I don’t feel so tired all the time so much… maybe because I don’t think so much when I’m doing the classes so my brain can finally take a break…
Woke up late today thou and decided to skip the morning body jam classes I was planning to take… after 6 days of exercise this week and the 7 hours yesterday, I guess I deserved it.
Watched Children’s Letters to God in the afternoon at the SRT. It was something different from Homesick on Friday… it had a certain innocent quality about it and yet something wise…the questions and the answers… I liked the songs and the actors are refreshing. Sometimes, perhaps we do need to see things from a different perspective… and a child always seems to see things clearer… with less distortions.
Met up with Dr. Lin for dinner at the Book Café and we had a wonderful chat… We always have so much to talk about and our conversations can range from academia gossip to thoughts of life…
All in all… it was a fulfilling weekend…
Yesterday was Vincent’s last class… quite sad… I’ll miss him so, he’s really the best instructor I’ve had… the one that can really motivate me to do the best I can. It doesn’t help that my other favorite jazz instructor is also leaving… Originally joined my fitness centre hoping that it can replace the jazz classes, but after taking one bodyjam class (supposedly the class that can replace my jazz classes), I’m starting to realize that its not quite the same thing… contemplating to try out O school… although how I’m going to be able to fit it in my current schedule is quite beyond my concept.
But I don’t regret joining my fitness centre despite the exorbitant fees…. The service is great and I still do like the classes, especially Body Balance. And for all that Body Jam lack in technique, it’s still a good workout. And so is Body Combat. And I love the saunas and steam rooms at all the clubs and the fact that I can shower and get my hair dry when I get home. Plus the view over the pool at One George St is absolutely gorgeous.…
All the exercise I’m doing is making me feel much better… somehow its clearing my head and I don’t feel so tired all the time so much… maybe because I don’t think so much when I’m doing the classes so my brain can finally take a break…
Woke up late today thou and decided to skip the morning body jam classes I was planning to take… after 6 days of exercise this week and the 7 hours yesterday, I guess I deserved it.
Watched Children’s Letters to God in the afternoon at the SRT. It was something different from Homesick on Friday… it had a certain innocent quality about it and yet something wise…the questions and the answers… I liked the songs and the actors are refreshing. Sometimes, perhaps we do need to see things from a different perspective… and a child always seems to see things clearer… with less distortions.
Met up with Dr. Lin for dinner at the Book Café and we had a wonderful chat… We always have so much to talk about and our conversations can range from academia gossip to thoughts of life…
All in all… it was a fulfilling weekend…
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Homesick
Just watched Alfian’s Homesick today and I have to say, for the first play in the inaugural Singapore Theatre Festival, it really set a high standard. It started off on a quirky note and somehow managed to keep the light tone through out the two hour play that handled almost all the difficult and often controversial issues that barrages all S’poreans… from stayers and quitters to racial discrimination… making us see and reflect on all the issues in a different light…
When I said I was going to watch Alfian’s new play, a friend said something about watching another gay play… well… she was wrong… If anything, Homesick proved Alfian’s ability to write beyond gay issues. Homesick is the quintessential Singapore play… it is essentially Singapore condensed into two hours. And that is such a rare thing. For a quality Singaporean play about Singapore…
Homesick reminded me of why I go to theatre… not just for entertainment and relaxation from musicals like Cabaret (which was a really good broadway-quality show) or to be moved by touching storylines… but to feel. Homesick did that. It dug deep within and resonates… and I saw little bits of me and the people around me in all its characters… for a first time, I saw Singapore on a stage.
A story about a family of five children and the fact that all five are scattered all over the world…. And the way each of them love and hate their home and their nation...the bitterness they feel towards the country they grew up in… the issues they brought up striking a chord each time…the fact that we are living one man’s dreams… and in that case what happens to our own dreams? The way we are seeking our roots and where should those roots be? In China or in Singapore? Are we first Singaporeans or Chinese? And what do we call our culture? The way that we somehow can never face the fact that someone in our family married someone of another race… and the way no one wants to live in S’pore their whole lives…
Its no secret that I’m not planning on living in S’pore all my life… and the play actually invoked all the feelings I have for this nation… love, belonging, resentment, indifference… and the truth that nothing can change the fact that I grew up here and this is where all my childhood memories are… I was born here and grew up here… I studied and lived in Bukit Timah…I buy groceries from NTUC and used to spend hours in the bookshop at Beauty World… I spend my weekends in Orchard and City Hall and I go to Kwan Im Temple to pray for safety and good results… hope and nostalgia...
This is where my memories are… in this country with all its idiosyncrasies that I cannot stand and in two hours, Aflian somehow managed to sum up all my feelings and when it ended, I felt the pain behind my eyes from tears that won’t fall when something deep within really hurt…
For all the hype on the controversy of the play (esp. the L word that took a hold over the after show q&a) , I see Homesick as a play about a home. About people that after and under everything, is simply seeking a place within their family… a place where they are accepted and loved. Essentially and deep down, that’s what every character in the play wants…. And what we all want. In the Playwright’s Message, Alfian talked about the true meaning of “homesickness”… of how it is possible to feel homesick without leaving your home at all… and our dual feelings about Singapore…
For all that Singapore is… an accidental nation that sometimes cannot even decide how old she is… with its shifting identity and groundless roots… it is still the place we grew up in… the place we know better than any other in the world. And in that, it is irreplaceable.
No matter how we hate it often and love it rarely… and how we resent it like a child resenting its mother… we cannot deny the umbilical cord that connects us and how we can never really cut it.
This play doesn’t really change anything about how I feel… but it does make me think and reflect deeper… and most importantly, it touched something in me…
After all, what is home? It’s not just a nation. It’s not just a house. Yet, do we abandon the nation and the house? What are we really attached to? What are we homesick for?
I’ll really like to recommend this play to every Singaporean… its not a perfect play, there are still some kinks in it (Patrick’s about-turn decision was too abrupt and made the ending a little too pat, some characters are under-utilized and slightly cardboard ), but overall it’s an excellent play. Alfian’s words held a grace and sensitivity as always. For a rare play that is wholly centered on Singapore… it’s amazing. For an ending where almost everyone leaves in the end…it is actually unbelievable truthful… Its something we can be proud of.
When I said I was going to watch Alfian’s new play, a friend said something about watching another gay play… well… she was wrong… If anything, Homesick proved Alfian’s ability to write beyond gay issues. Homesick is the quintessential Singapore play… it is essentially Singapore condensed into two hours. And that is such a rare thing. For a quality Singaporean play about Singapore…
Homesick reminded me of why I go to theatre… not just for entertainment and relaxation from musicals like Cabaret (which was a really good broadway-quality show) or to be moved by touching storylines… but to feel. Homesick did that. It dug deep within and resonates… and I saw little bits of me and the people around me in all its characters… for a first time, I saw Singapore on a stage.
A story about a family of five children and the fact that all five are scattered all over the world…. And the way each of them love and hate their home and their nation...the bitterness they feel towards the country they grew up in… the issues they brought up striking a chord each time…the fact that we are living one man’s dreams… and in that case what happens to our own dreams? The way we are seeking our roots and where should those roots be? In China or in Singapore? Are we first Singaporeans or Chinese? And what do we call our culture? The way that we somehow can never face the fact that someone in our family married someone of another race… and the way no one wants to live in S’pore their whole lives…
Its no secret that I’m not planning on living in S’pore all my life… and the play actually invoked all the feelings I have for this nation… love, belonging, resentment, indifference… and the truth that nothing can change the fact that I grew up here and this is where all my childhood memories are… I was born here and grew up here… I studied and lived in Bukit Timah…I buy groceries from NTUC and used to spend hours in the bookshop at Beauty World… I spend my weekends in Orchard and City Hall and I go to Kwan Im Temple to pray for safety and good results… hope and nostalgia...
This is where my memories are… in this country with all its idiosyncrasies that I cannot stand and in two hours, Aflian somehow managed to sum up all my feelings and when it ended, I felt the pain behind my eyes from tears that won’t fall when something deep within really hurt…
For all the hype on the controversy of the play (esp. the L word that took a hold over the after show q&a) , I see Homesick as a play about a home. About people that after and under everything, is simply seeking a place within their family… a place where they are accepted and loved. Essentially and deep down, that’s what every character in the play wants…. And what we all want. In the Playwright’s Message, Alfian talked about the true meaning of “homesickness”… of how it is possible to feel homesick without leaving your home at all… and our dual feelings about Singapore…
For all that Singapore is… an accidental nation that sometimes cannot even decide how old she is… with its shifting identity and groundless roots… it is still the place we grew up in… the place we know better than any other in the world. And in that, it is irreplaceable.
No matter how we hate it often and love it rarely… and how we resent it like a child resenting its mother… we cannot deny the umbilical cord that connects us and how we can never really cut it.
This play doesn’t really change anything about how I feel… but it does make me think and reflect deeper… and most importantly, it touched something in me…
After all, what is home? It’s not just a nation. It’s not just a house. Yet, do we abandon the nation and the house? What are we really attached to? What are we homesick for?
I’ll really like to recommend this play to every Singaporean… its not a perfect play, there are still some kinks in it (Patrick’s about-turn decision was too abrupt and made the ending a little too pat, some characters are under-utilized and slightly cardboard ), but overall it’s an excellent play. Alfian’s words held a grace and sensitivity as always. For a rare play that is wholly centered on Singapore… it’s amazing. For an ending where almost everyone leaves in the end…it is actually unbelievable truthful… Its something we can be proud of.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Babel...
Darn, haven’t updated for like forever… (but I did update my other journal!)
It rained today… just after I was complaining that it haven’t rained for like forever yesterday when it was so darn hot. Was looking out of the bus window this morning and the skies were so black… not a spot of white and one would even think it’s still night… reminded me of the “end of the days” Hollywood movies… it was so going to rain.. .. ha. And when it did, its literally torrents. Actually quite enjoyed it as I was all safe and dry in school when it rained :p
Been out of school for the afternoons the past few days for oral (ha, it does sound kinda dirty when I say that as Nick pointed out the other day) Its kinda interesting and occasionally funny, been entertaining my mom and friends with oral anecdotes the past few days which masked the boring bits when I kept wanting the fall asleep while the kids droned on and on in front of me.
But it came at a really bad time (is there ever a good time?)… with the speech day coming up and wushu training mounting and the Beijing exchange school people coming this Saturday… I’m supposed to call all the sights we are to visit and arrange for the tours (feel like a tour agency) but I keep not been able to do that as when I get home from oral, the offices are already closed. And all that not including the actual teaching work and lesson preparations. Already am not been able to give my class homework this weekend coz I don’t have time to finish marking their books (can imagine them jumping for joy and praising oral to the heavens). Well, they had double last weekend anyway.
Am exceedingly tired also becoz I had a couple of late nights. Went for The Dresser on Tuesday. It was a pretty good play, there’s a lot of meat in it. Am starting to really like Adrian Pang… didn’t really take him seriously before with only seeing his comic roles on tv. But he’s a wonderful actor… his accent is amazing. And Wed was my second spins class. Am so going to miss Vince when he’s gone. And he’s going for two years! When he comes back, I’ll probably be juz weeks away from leaving for the states too. Darn Darn double darn. Thinking of trying a new jazz class somewhere… either the dance school opposite my place or this jazz school my brother is going to with a really funny name O.
Well, good news would be that I got a new cellphone. It’s a early anniversary pressie from P coz my old one’s keypad isn’t working. It was a horror to sms on and people probably found it weird (or as jx said, very character) to receive smses from me with zero spaces and only Caps to tell each word from each other. LikeThis. But I do miss my old phone… it was a 2nd anniversary pressie from P as well and I planned to use it forever and forever or at least until it broke apart… Still, I do like this new one. It comes with a camera (not a very good one but still usable) and I like being able to take shots whenever I see anything pretty… except I still can’t download the photos… apparently I need a CA-42 cable which somehow costs 88 bucks. Why does a cable cost 88 bucks when my cell only costs 168 bucks?!?! That’s like half the price of the phone. I so cannot understand.
Well.. tmr’s going to be somewhat of a treat with no oral, a short and hopefully interesting seminar and then will be going for my monthly pedicure. Will be trying a new pedicurist. And then its my weekly Friday dancing!
And that’s the end of this really boring babel…. (ha, from my translation class! I actually saw my favorite class from last year today for translation… am quite happy… but they feel different… not as sweet as last year… well… kids grow up….so sad….)
It rained today… just after I was complaining that it haven’t rained for like forever yesterday when it was so darn hot. Was looking out of the bus window this morning and the skies were so black… not a spot of white and one would even think it’s still night… reminded me of the “end of the days” Hollywood movies… it was so going to rain.. .. ha. And when it did, its literally torrents. Actually quite enjoyed it as I was all safe and dry in school when it rained :p
Been out of school for the afternoons the past few days for oral (ha, it does sound kinda dirty when I say that as Nick pointed out the other day) Its kinda interesting and occasionally funny, been entertaining my mom and friends with oral anecdotes the past few days which masked the boring bits when I kept wanting the fall asleep while the kids droned on and on in front of me.
But it came at a really bad time (is there ever a good time?)… with the speech day coming up and wushu training mounting and the Beijing exchange school people coming this Saturday… I’m supposed to call all the sights we are to visit and arrange for the tours (feel like a tour agency) but I keep not been able to do that as when I get home from oral, the offices are already closed. And all that not including the actual teaching work and lesson preparations. Already am not been able to give my class homework this weekend coz I don’t have time to finish marking their books (can imagine them jumping for joy and praising oral to the heavens). Well, they had double last weekend anyway.
Am exceedingly tired also becoz I had a couple of late nights. Went for The Dresser on Tuesday. It was a pretty good play, there’s a lot of meat in it. Am starting to really like Adrian Pang… didn’t really take him seriously before with only seeing his comic roles on tv. But he’s a wonderful actor… his accent is amazing. And Wed was my second spins class. Am so going to miss Vince when he’s gone. And he’s going for two years! When he comes back, I’ll probably be juz weeks away from leaving for the states too. Darn Darn double darn. Thinking of trying a new jazz class somewhere… either the dance school opposite my place or this jazz school my brother is going to with a really funny name O.
Well, good news would be that I got a new cellphone. It’s a early anniversary pressie from P coz my old one’s keypad isn’t working. It was a horror to sms on and people probably found it weird (or as jx said, very character) to receive smses from me with zero spaces and only Caps to tell each word from each other. LikeThis. But I do miss my old phone… it was a 2nd anniversary pressie from P as well and I planned to use it forever and forever or at least until it broke apart… Still, I do like this new one. It comes with a camera (not a very good one but still usable) and I like being able to take shots whenever I see anything pretty… except I still can’t download the photos… apparently I need a CA-42 cable which somehow costs 88 bucks. Why does a cable cost 88 bucks when my cell only costs 168 bucks?!?! That’s like half the price of the phone. I so cannot understand.
Well.. tmr’s going to be somewhat of a treat with no oral, a short and hopefully interesting seminar and then will be going for my monthly pedicure. Will be trying a new pedicurist. And then its my weekly Friday dancing!
And that’s the end of this really boring babel…. (ha, from my translation class! I actually saw my favorite class from last year today for translation… am quite happy… but they feel different… not as sweet as last year… well… kids grow up….so sad….)
Sunday, July 02, 2006
《天…使我爱你》
好久没看到这么一部让我流那么多泪水的戏了。《天…使我爱你》。
很喜欢开始的部分，信和小悦的爱情，那么的单纯，那么的甜蜜。信确实很呆，打扮也好土，一般女孩子，在看到自己被配到一个那么土气的男生照顾，一定很失望吧。但小悦却看到了那外表下的一颗真心。所以，她拥有了一个天使。
那么简单的恋情。雨天的伞，感冒时的感冒药。小女生的撒娇，小男生的呆气，面对女生的脾气时木讷得好好笑。那么让人会心，那么让人心疼。却是那么的梦幻，梦幻得让我们知道，是无法长久的。
真的不认同信的做法。无论带着多么深的祝福，亲手把自己的最爱推给别人，仍旧是残酷的。对自己残酷，对所爱的人残酷。
结局的多变是个败笔，大概连编剧也不知该如何结束，所以就什么都放进去了。但无论如何，仍是一部我喜欢的片子。
尤其喜欢编剧抄自《榭寄生》的那一句话，无论你在那里，我只离你一个转身的距离。
Guardian Angel，都是离我们这样远吧。只是一个转身的距离，但我们一转身，就看不到，因为，他已到我们身后守护我们了。
Sunday, June 25, 2006
偷得浮生一日闲
在开学前的一天，偷得一个几近完美的一天，一个晶莹的时刻。早上八点起来，父亲送我去看一部有趣的话剧。Play on Earth。是在三个国家同时上演的一个话剧，除了新加坡之外，还有英国和巴西的演员。一个跨越空间的演出，十分特别。我们还能看到其他国家的观众，还能相互招手。构思十分新颖，且演出也相当不错。
演出完毕时，才十点半。还很早，呼吸着早晨的空气，在一个酒吧街上，早晨是冷清的，但很新鲜。跑去一个朋友介绍的Book Café，那儿有舒服的沙发和许多书籍杂志，很适合烂上一整天，但因为距离远，所以只来过一次。现在正巧，从剧场走去不到五分钟就到了。找了个靠窗的沙发，赖在沙发上，点了一杯可可清啜，听着Café播的音乐，拿出一班作文卷子改，阳光明亮，不知不觉竟改了大半班。偶尔发闷时，捡起一本书随意翻阅，感觉有些糜烂。
一直呆到下午1点，才愿意伸直身子，收拾书包离开。散步到巴士站，搭巴士去乌节的图书馆和书店逛逛，再去KFC边吃炸鸡腿边读许佑生的小说。吃完后时间刚好看电影《王的男人》。电影拍得不错，戏子的戏很好笑，但就是悲了一点。
看完戏便搭巴士去滨海艺术中心。先去图书馆，找了个靠海的沙发，缩在沙发中，欣赏海景和对面的Fullerton的城市景象。看完了小说，再把这一班的作文卷子改完。
大约7点，起身到楼下的寿司店吃寿司刺身。点了一盘刺身配Baby Octopus，还有几碟寿司。吃得很满足。
晚上看澳洲剧团的Shorter and Sweeter。是一个由八个十分钟的短剧组成的话剧，每个短剧都很有意思，让人发笑，但也发人深省。其中一个《狗的心声》让我觉得很不舒服，另一个《城市一夜情》似乎给人希望。最后一个《极乐园》真的让人爆笑。是个让人很好玩的剧场。
好喜欢今天，并不是假日，人不太多，天气晴朗，感觉很舒服。
好喜欢今天，从早晨起床的那刻，时时刻刻都有所期待，感觉很清新。
戴了我喜欢的蝴蝶耳坠，移动时能感觉到蝴蝶轻盈地飞，仿佛如我的心情一般轻快。
好开心，偷得浮生一日闲。
Monday, June 19, 2006
Taiwan
Back from Taiwan…. Really enjoyed the week of backpacking with P…hostels and different itineraries every day… Missed these days of travel that we did in Europe which was 2 years ago already… P still remembered the strains of songs we created during the Europe days… traveling in the states just isn’t the same when we had permanent “homes”.Spent 4 days in Tainan and 3 days in Taipei… Deliberately did this so that we’ll have more days in the country… Stayed in a Home-stay owned by a couple and it was like staying with their family. So very homey, complete with picking up their two kids everyday from school and playing with the kids at night. The couple was very warm and welcoming… The dad was also our personal guide and chauffer for the four days, bringing us to different sights everyday and ensuring that we get the full Tainan experience, from lotus blossom fields to the bamboo groves and tea fields mountains to the seaside coastal areas of oyster and salt fields… Different landscape every single day….It made our entire trip much easier and way more informative… and we had an experience of a kind of the lives of the people there…
First day was a rainy day… we went to GuanZi Ling… visited two ancient temples and had a free vegetarian lunch at one of the temples… it was a quiet day… the calming sense of old temples and the light drizzle…
We visited the lotus blossoms the second day… the reason we came to Tainan… because it’s the lotus and water lilies season… fields and fields of pink and white lotus in bloom and fragrant water lilies of every color with the backdrop of gold rice fields… Had a chance to pick the water lilies and drink the flower essence as well. Did the famous Guan Zi Ling mud hot springs and spa at night… so comfy…. Also went up to see the night lights after…
Went to Xi Tou Mountains the third day. It’s a mountain with tea fields at the top and covered in bamboo groves… We actually visited the tea fields owned by friends of our host family… so its not a tourist sight and we had the place all to ourselves… at the top of the mountains with a breathtaking view of tea fields and cloud-covered mountains…. With only the tea pickers in sight… it was ethereal…..
Last day was spent by the sea…. Took a ferry out to see how oysters are grown and harvested before barbequing fresh oysters… naturally salted by the salty sea water and so sweet by itself… attempted to climb a salt mountain afterwards which is much harder than we thought… the salt was loose and slippery and the also coarse and rough on the hands… wanted to give up halfway but two guys that already attempted the climb twice (they wanted to try to climb the mountain from different sides !?! ) told us to try and climbed up again behind us to support us. The view on top of the salt fields and fish ponds surrounded the area was worth it, but the sense of satisfaction is even better. We slid our way down, thankful that our jeans were thick enough : )
There are other little things as well… catching fireflies at night… visiting a cow farm and drinking milk freshly squeezed… a gorgeous sunset over a lake created by a dam… a Chatres-like hostel area of a local university… overall Tainan is a beautiful place…
The quiet and country pace of Tainan made us unused to the bustle and polluted air of Taipei… which is perhaps why we didn’t really like the city all that much… although we had happy memories of Shilin Night Market (where we spent out first night before taking the train to Tainan… loved the yummy foods and the relaxed atmosphere of the teahouse where we spent an hour sipping tea and listening to music). Spent our second night at Xi Meng Ting shopping… bought a sports bag that I have been looking for forever and clothes… Spent 3 hours in Eslite Bookstore (I love that bookstore!)… would have stayed longer if not for P complaining…
Escaped to Yang Ming Shan the next day…Trekked up to JuanSi waterfalls and Qing Tian Gang Grasslands…. It was a easy trek under the cooling green canopy and with a soundtrack of rushing spring waters… QingTian Gang is an amazingly rolling grasslands of several scenic tops with a cooling breeze… but the next trek up to Seven Stars Garden and Dream Lake wasn’t as easy… it was a killing trek up steep, crumbling steps under the hot noon sun… but the view is breathtaking… Trekked across the mountain to the other side of Yang Ming Shan before doing another hot spring and taking the bus down to the city… went to Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall which is like one huge community centre… P couldn’t believe his eyes when a father and son holding badminton rackets walked in to the square and proceeded to play badminton right in front of us in on the road! Had dinner at Ding Tai Fung… the original store brimming with customers and a long queue.
Last day was spent at the Palace Museum and its amazing collection depicting the development of pottery glazing and various fine arts… went to Taipei Story House after that… a cute little house with a changing exhibition and this time it happened to be one on Wu Xia, my fave topic!
Overall, it was a wonderful week… tiring yes, but fulfilling too… and it made us feel like young students again…
Saturday, June 10, 2006
I would do it again...
I would do it again. I would kill, destroy, maim – and I would love you anyway.
Don’t. Don’t say that. You can’t. You can’t have both.
Oh, but don’t you see. I already do.
These few lines…..they haunt me. They circle in my head again and again…
Don’t. Don’t say that. You can’t. You can’t have both.
Oh, but don’t you see. I already do.
These few lines…..they haunt me. They circle in my head again and again…
Thursday, June 08, 2006
little memories of happiness
I’m a terribly unorganized and untidy person. Anyone who has seen my room or my office table can attest to that. I’m also the kind that refuses to throw anything away, thinking of them as mementoes that are keepers and proofs of memories in my life. It accounts for a lot of rubbish, but occasionally, every now and then, I find it so true and worth it… little moments in life that I will be madly searching through my bags for a misplaced ezy-link card and come across a mini-calendar-card-sized Manhattan subway map that I stuck in the hidden corner of a bag back in June when I was in New York….or picking up a bag that I haven’t used for ages and opening the front pocket to find ancient trans-island yellow bus tickets that reminded me of a time when P used to fold hearts out of these little bits of paper… combing through my wallet for cash only to come across faded cinema tickets that remind me of both the film and the friend I watched it with…sifting through my piles of paper to uncover a note written by a best friend that somehow got stuck there (probably when said friend helped my clean up my desk!)….digging into the pocket of a jacket to bring out a foreign coin I stuck there once when overseas… little memories of happiness and the little moment when I happen across these little bits of proofs allow me to relive the times…and I know its worth it… to live with all the clutter and the insanity of searching through everything madly to find whatever it is I need buried under everything and anything every single time… for these little moments of surprises and never knowing when I’m going to happen across a happy memory….
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Bintan
Had three divine days in Bintan.... Beautiful beaches, clear waters and the softest white sands imaginable and the greenest tropical trees for a contrast… and a lovely horizon where the skies and seas dissolved into each other…Idyllic days… a blissful three hour spa on the first day… such indulgence… loved the room with all the rustic touches and the heavenly scent and a view of the beach. I could sit there and sip sunflower tea all day…
Did water-skiing and jetski the second morning. Water-skiing was fun, the adrenaline rush and the feel of flying on water… but jet-skis beats it hands down with the pure speed and easy fun! It’s like motorcycle on water with the additional benefit of accelerating all the way.
Spent the day relaxing by the swimming pool with a book and ice-cream and dips in the pool when it got warm… and P buzzing around my ears all afternoon like a mosquito without a book to entertain him :p
Went for a walk along the beach… climbed the rocks for a view of breakers crashing against the rock… and walked from one point of the beach to the other.. the waves crashing around our bare feet… and sun glittering on the sea… picked up two pieces of coral with intricate designs… Went for a swim at sunset…swam towards the setting sun with the warmth of the sun rays on my back…
It was a wonderful three days and two nights of being pampered and looked after…felt like a princess…
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Greece
Finally finished arranging my Greece Photos … brought me a trip down memory lane, seeing as it’s been five years since the trip (see how much I procrastinate!)
Greece will always have a special place in my heart… its one of the places I visit and actually want to return and stay forever (Switzerland and Boston are the only two other places). Love the isles and the Aegean, Mykonos with its gentle allure of blue and white calming spirit and Santorini with its irresistible fiery volcanic beauty… the windmills and clear waters and the glitter of the cities at the edge of the cliffs….Love wandering about Athens… never knowing if you are going to happen on one of the historical archeological sites buried under the city…living among the ancient civilization…with the Acropolis in view whenever you lift your head…
I just want to go back…
Greece will always have a special place in my heart… its one of the places I visit and actually want to return and stay forever (Switzerland and Boston are the only two other places). Love the isles and the Aegean, Mykonos with its gentle allure of blue and white calming spirit and Santorini with its irresistible fiery volcanic beauty… the windmills and clear waters and the glitter of the cities at the edge of the cliffs….Love wandering about Athens… never knowing if you are going to happen on one of the historical archeological sites buried under the city…living among the ancient civilization…with the Acropolis in view whenever you lift your head…
I just want to go back…
Friday, May 26, 2006
last day of school
Just finished packing… the staff room is a mad, mad place… open boxes and huge, black trash bags all over the place and blocking the already congested narrow passageways and towers piled precariously on top of each other. The high-pitch shriek of tearing tape can be heard the entire day together with laughter and moans as we perform acrobatic acts of hopping over the open boxes and avoid stepping into trash bags… of how we managed to accumulate so much trash and how we wish we can sweep everything one-handed into the trash bags… and how we again managed to pack something we need right now into a box already taped close… and naturally, we will not, even at the risk of gunpoint, open a box we have packed full and taped close which is naturally at the bottom of our tower of boxes anyway (Yes, I'm exaggerating)…
For a last day of term, chaos is perfectly normal as usual.
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My life has been full of newspapers recently. It included the trouble-strewn sec. 1 newspaper collections in which my kids brought newspapers on the wrong day and culminating to yesterday where they went all around the school in a one-day-garang guni attempt to collect at least 200 kg of newspaper and actually managing to collect more than 300 kg, earning the school 30 dollars…. The class was a mess of recycled paper the day before the newspaper collections… and my sec. 3 classes said they were missing newspapers due to the over-eager collectors. :p My kids can really do things when they put their heart to it… like the classroom cleaning… after a lot of nagging, the class was sparkling clean… floor mopped, tables wiped and all the corners wiped free of dust.. am so proud of them. Will be bringing P to the class barbeque on the 8th, looking forward to their reaction :p
Also spent the past few days chasing after my Sec. 3 kids for way overdue newspaper cuttings… I actually really don't care but as the newspaper cuttings are compulsory to all, I have to do it. Spent the last day of school marking their newspaper comprehensions and ordering them to read newspapers at least once a week to build up their current affairs knowledge…
Actually feel quite hypocritical every time I tell my kids that they have to read newspapers… because I don't do it myself! For someone that gets her current affairs updates from reading Mr. Brown's blog every once in a blue moon (and marking my students' newspaper cuttings), I'm not a very good person for encouraging religious newspaper readings…
In fact, I remember back when I was a fresh 'A' level grad deciding which scholarship to pick up, upon hearing my decision to do the teaching scholarship, my ex-CL teacher said, "Are you sure? CL teachers have to read a lot of Chinese newspapers leh." Ha. She knows me best.
Despite her warnings, I still chose the teaching scholarship. And so here I am now. Force-feeding newspaper readings on students and not reading newspapers myself…but the newspapers reading are so necessary for the exams… without reading newspapers and going for exams is like going out shopping without money… but they so don't understand…
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006
first teaching anniversary
Today marks the first year anniversary of teaching… and I almost didn't remember. If not for the alarm I set a long time ago… it would have passed by without a ripple in my teaching life… Running up and down… scolding students for matters ranging from breaking the fluorescent tube by playing ball to not collecting enough newspapers… settling matters like their class outing and confiscating Da Vinci Code from students reading illegally in my class…It's a day just like another.
Still. It's been a year. Congratulations to myself.
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Went for a course yesterday and skipped a day of school. Kept falling asleep though, am so tired. Only woke up for the discussions. The instructor played a movie at the end of the course and said it wasn't compulsory to stay behind… naturally, most people left. I was one of the three that stayed behind… partly because I felt bad, partly because the show left an impression. Remembering the Titans, it was a film more on the segregation between the whites and black than on team cohesion, still, it was no less inspirational. When Gerry met with the accident and Julius visited him, his answer to the nurse's statement of only kin is allowed is simply heartbreakingly true.
For a film that handles racial segregation and harmony issues, Remembering the Titans is definitely way more idealistic than Crash, despite being a true story. But sometimes, instead of handling the issues in a way that uses thought-provoking pain, films that give us hope might not leave a stronger impact, but it does give us a reason to try…
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Term's ending… although it doesn't feel like it. I don't feel the sense of finality or relief. Not to say that I do at any end of term week. Work is still piled up and continues to pile as I type… Looking forward to the holidays though, especially for Bintan… three days of relaxing, with nothing more stressful than waking up late and lazing by the beach… swimming in the sea and ache-releasing spas…. Three days of not thinking of anything but what to eat for dinner…in fact, I'm not going to think about that either, P can decide. ….Three days of heaven…
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Went for drinks with Lin last Sat as I was feeling moody…. I actually hate the taste of alcohol. But I just wanted to not think. Turned out it didn't really work. Went to two places, the lounge at Ritz recced by Gab, and Postbar at the Fullerton . Only had three drinks but I already felt dizzy and threw up. A bartender was so worried that she held my hand all the way to the toilet and pushed a mug of warm lime water to Lin to make me drink when I didn't return to the bar after. Lin was amazing… she took care of me all night, entertaining my whims and tantrums and took me home when it appeared that I shouldn't drink anymore… I don't remember all that I've said except that it was probably very embarrassing and nonsensical and she stayed with me all the way and through the night… She said she's never seen me so upset in all our years of friendship and I'm long overdue for a breakdown… I don't know, all I know is that I hope I can snap out of this mood soon…. And I'm incredibly lucky to have Lin….
Still. It's been a year. Congratulations to myself.
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Went for a course yesterday and skipped a day of school. Kept falling asleep though, am so tired. Only woke up for the discussions. The instructor played a movie at the end of the course and said it wasn't compulsory to stay behind… naturally, most people left. I was one of the three that stayed behind… partly because I felt bad, partly because the show left an impression. Remembering the Titans, it was a film more on the segregation between the whites and black than on team cohesion, still, it was no less inspirational. When Gerry met with the accident and Julius visited him, his answer to the nurse's statement of only kin is allowed is simply heartbreakingly true.
For a film that handles racial segregation and harmony issues, Remembering the Titans is definitely way more idealistic than Crash, despite being a true story. But sometimes, instead of handling the issues in a way that uses thought-provoking pain, films that give us hope might not leave a stronger impact, but it does give us a reason to try…
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Term's ending… although it doesn't feel like it. I don't feel the sense of finality or relief. Not to say that I do at any end of term week. Work is still piled up and continues to pile as I type… Looking forward to the holidays though, especially for Bintan… three days of relaxing, with nothing more stressful than waking up late and lazing by the beach… swimming in the sea and ache-releasing spas…. Three days of not thinking of anything but what to eat for dinner…in fact, I'm not going to think about that either, P can decide. ….Three days of heaven…
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Went for drinks with Lin last Sat as I was feeling moody…. I actually hate the taste of alcohol. But I just wanted to not think. Turned out it didn't really work. Went to two places, the lounge at Ritz recced by Gab, and Postbar at the Fullerton . Only had three drinks but I already felt dizzy and threw up. A bartender was so worried that she held my hand all the way to the toilet and pushed a mug of warm lime water to Lin to make me drink when I didn't return to the bar after. Lin was amazing… she took care of me all night, entertaining my whims and tantrums and took me home when it appeared that I shouldn't drink anymore… I don't remember all that I've said except that it was probably very embarrassing and nonsensical and she stayed with me all the way and through the night… She said she's never seen me so upset in all our years of friendship and I'm long overdue for a breakdown… I don't know, all I know is that I hope I can snap out of this mood soon…. And I'm incredibly lucky to have Lin….
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Despondency
Haven't updated for what feels like forever but turns out to be only roughly one month. This is so not good… bad, bad behavior.
Let's see… news of the month… my wushu kids did really well, most got quite a good ranking and it's was a very good experience for them. One of them did miraculously well and won a gold medal! She beat 20 other pple that trained for years even though she only trained for 2 months. Quite proud of them, for a first time, its quite a achievement.
Marking season came and went together with its days and nights of hell-froze-over-nothing-is-more-important-than-non-stop-marking…
Watched a number of plays… but somehow all seems rather blurry in my mind now except for a very simple production of Dogs Barking at a obscure corner of this little island that I've never been before. The acting was okay and the set was good but the play itself was unexpectedly provoking… the ideas of how people and emotions change and yet essentially do not… unspeakable stuff that we are capable of doing to those we once loved and still do love… I especially liked the way it ended with a short look at the way it all once started… we forget sometimes… that we were the ones that hurt ourselves in the beginning… but who can blame us? Was crying at the bus stop after the play… somehow it touched a part of me that I didn't expect…
Other shows include Burn the Floor (quality dancing), A Very British Affair (a fun night out with lots of laugh although the singing really quite sucks compared to real Broadway) and others that blurs in my mind now…
A top news recently would be the scary dental operation I underwent… with needles and thread and scissors and drills waving all over my face and a half numb jaw plus five days of porridge in which I naturally crave my Ruffles chips… all in exchange for taking out two wisdom teeth. It all seems so not worthwhile… Teeth are still numb.
Been taking turns class recently…. And conclusion is that a lot more classes are needed before I can do my turns… Haven't danced for a long time due to the operation and won't be dancing again this week as I'm watching Man of Letters on Friday with Gabriel…
Thursday, May 04, 2006
爱玫瑰
在听周华健的“爱玫瑰“。听到一句“爱在十七是完美，怎么都不会累，他吻了我的额头让我无法入睡 “。带回了许多回忆。与其说回忆，不如说感觉。十七岁时的爱情，什么都甜美。似乎没有什么比之更重要。每天都为之开心或伤心得无法入睡。只在乎感觉。那么 的天真，单纯。相比下，现在的爱情，成熟，疲惫。考虑的东西之多，已远远超过当时简单的感觉。
“爱在你眼中是谁？会不会有玫瑰？“
我的爱情没有玫瑰，有的是百合与薰衣草。还有一个北京夜晚，我漫步回宿舍时买的满天星。虽然不是他送的，但我记得，那时我一手抱着满天星，一手握着手机和他讲话，心中的喜悦有他陪我分享。
他很久没送我花了。因为慢慢发现，花儿凋谢时的伤感已渐渐胜过收到花儿的喜悦，因此告诉他别再送了。有心就好。（而且新加坡的花比北京的贵太多了）
不知为何，忽然间很想收到一束满天星。简单，单纯。
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