Taiwan

Back from Taiwan…. Really enjoyed the week of backpacking with P…hostels and different itineraries every day… Missed these days of travel that we did in Europe which was 2 years ago already… P still remembered the strains of songs we created during the Europe days… traveling in the states just isn’t the same when we had permanent “homes”.

Spent 4 days in Tainan and 3 days in Taipei… Deliberately did this so that we’ll have more days in the country… Stayed in a Home-stay owned by a couple and it was like staying with their family. So very homey, complete with picking up their two kids everyday from school and playing with the kids at night. The couple was very warm and welcoming… The dad was also our personal guide and chauffer for the four days, bringing us to different sights everyday and ensuring that we get the full Tainan experience, from lotus blossom fields to the bamboo groves and tea fields mountains to the seaside coastal areas of oyster and salt fields… Different landscape every single day….It made our entire trip much easier and way more informative… and we had an experience of a kind of the lives of the people there…

First day was a rainy day… we went to GuanZi Ling… visited two ancient temples and had a free vegetarian lunch at one of the temples… it was a quiet day… the calming sense of old temples and the light drizzle…

We visited the lotus blossoms the second day… the reason we came to Tainan… because it’s the lotus and water lilies season… fields and fields of pink and white lotus in bloom and fragrant water lilies of every color with the backdrop of gold rice fields… Had a chance to pick the water lilies and drink the flower essence as well. Did the famous Guan Zi Ling mud hot springs and spa at night… so comfy…. Also went up to see the night lights after…

Went to Xi Tou Mountains the third day. It’s a mountain with tea fields at the top and covered in bamboo groves… We actually visited the tea fields owned by friends of our host family… so its not a tourist sight and we had the place all to ourselves… at the top of the mountains with a breathtaking view of tea fields and cloud-covered mountains…. With only the tea pickers in sight… it was ethereal…..

Last day was spent by the sea…. Took a ferry out to see how oysters are grown and harvested before barbequing fresh oysters… naturally salted by the salty sea water and so sweet by itself… attempted to climb a salt mountain afterwards which is much harder than we thought… the salt was loose and slippery and the also coarse and rough on the hands… wanted to give up halfway but two guys that already attempted the climb twice (they wanted to try to climb the mountain from different sides !?! ) told us to try and climbed up again behind us to support us. The view on top of the salt fields and fish ponds surrounded the area was worth it, but the sense of satisfaction is even better. We slid our way down, thankful that our jeans were thick enough : )

There are other little things as well… catching fireflies at night… visiting a cow farm and drinking milk freshly squeezed… a gorgeous sunset over a lake created by a dam… a Chatres-like hostel area of a local university… overall Tainan is a beautiful place…

The quiet and country pace of Tainan made us unused to the bustle and polluted air of Taipei… which is perhaps why we didn’t really like the city all that much… although we had happy memories of Shilin Night Market (where we spent out first night before taking the train to Tainan… loved the yummy foods and the relaxed atmosphere of the teahouse where we spent an hour sipping tea and listening to music). Spent our second night at Xi Meng Ting shopping… bought a sports bag that I have been looking for forever and clothes… Spent 3 hours in Eslite Bookstore (I love that bookstore!)… would have stayed longer if not for P complaining…

Escaped to Yang Ming Shan the next day…Trekked up to JuanSi waterfalls and Qing Tian Gang Grasslands…. It was a easy trek under the cooling green canopy and with a soundtrack of rushing spring waters… QingTian Gang is an amazingly rolling grasslands of several scenic tops with a cooling breeze… but the next trek up to Seven Stars Garden and Dream Lake wasn’t as easy… it was a killing trek up steep, crumbling steps under the hot noon sun… but the view is breathtaking… Trekked across the mountain to the other side of Yang Ming Shan before doing another hot spring and taking the bus down to the city… went to Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall which is like one huge community centre… P couldn’t believe his eyes when a father and son holding badminton rackets walked in to the square and proceeded to play badminton right in front of us in on the road! Had dinner at Ding Tai Fung… the original store brimming with customers and a long queue.

Last day was spent at the Palace Museum and its amazing collection depicting the development of pottery glazing and various fine arts… went to Taipei Story House after that… a cute little house with a changing exhibition and this time it happened to be one on Wu Xia, my fave topic!

Overall, it was a wonderful week… tiring yes, but fulfilling too… and it made us feel like young students again…

I would do it again...

I would do it again. I would kill, destroy, maim – and I would love you anyway.

Don’t. Don’t say that. You can’t. You can’t have both.

Oh, but don’t you see. I already do.


These few lines…..they haunt me. They circle in my head again and again…

little memories of happiness

I’m a terribly unorganized and untidy person. Anyone who has seen my room or my office table can attest to that. I’m also the kind that refuses to throw anything away, thinking of them as mementoes that are keepers and proofs of memories in my life. It accounts for a lot of rubbish, but occasionally, every now and then, I find it so true and worth it… little moments in life that I will be madly searching through my bags for a misplaced ezy-link card and come across a mini-calendar-card-sized Manhattan subway map that I stuck in the hidden corner of a bag back in June when I was in New York….or picking up a bag that I haven’t used for ages and opening the front pocket to find ancient trans-island yellow bus tickets that reminded me of a time when P used to fold hearts out of these little bits of paper… combing through my wallet for cash only to come across faded cinema tickets that remind me of both the film and the friend I watched it with…sifting through my piles of paper to uncover a note written by a best friend that somehow got stuck there (probably when said friend helped my clean up my desk!)….digging into the pocket of a jacket to bring out a foreign coin I stuck there once when overseas… little memories of happiness and the little moment when I happen across these little bits of proofs allow me to relive the times…and I know its worth it… to live with all the clutter and the insanity of searching through everything madly to find whatever it is I need buried under everything and anything every single time… for these little moments of surprises and never knowing when I’m going to happen across a happy memory….

Bintan

Had three divine days in Bintan.... Beautiful beaches, clear waters and the softest white sands imaginable and the greenest tropical trees for a contrast… and a lovely horizon where the skies and seas dissolved into each other…

Idyllic days… a blissful three hour spa on the first day… such indulgence… loved the room with all the rustic touches and the heavenly scent and a view of the beach. I could sit there and sip sunflower tea all day…

Did water-skiing and jetski the second morning. Water-skiing was fun, the adrenaline rush and the feel of flying on water… but jet-skis beats it hands down with the pure speed and easy fun! It’s like motorcycle on water with the additional benefit of accelerating all the way.

Spent the day relaxing by the swimming pool with a book and ice-cream and dips in the pool when it got warm… and P buzzing around my ears all afternoon like a mosquito without a book to entertain him :p

Went for a walk along the beach… climbed the rocks for a view of breakers crashing against the rock… and walked from one point of the beach to the other.. the waves crashing around our bare feet… and sun glittering on the sea… picked up two pieces of coral with intricate designs… Went for a swim at sunset…swam towards the setting sun with the warmth of the sun rays on my back…

It was a wonderful three days and two nights of being pampered and looked after…felt like a princess…

Greece

Finally finished arranging my Greece Photos … brought me a trip down memory lane, seeing as it’s been five years since the trip (see how much I procrastinate!)

Greece will always have a special place in my heart… its one of the places I visit and actually want to return and stay forever (Switzerland and Boston are the only two other places). Love the isles and the Aegean, Mykonos with its gentle allure of blue and white calming spirit and Santorini with its irresistible fiery volcanic beauty… the windmills and clear waters and the glitter of the cities at the edge of the cliffs….Love wandering about Athens… never knowing if you are going to happen on one of the historical archeological sites buried under the city…living among the ancient civilization…with the Acropolis in view whenever you lift your head…

I just want to go back…

last day of school

Just finished packing… the staff room is a mad, mad place… open boxes and huge, black trash bags all over the place and blocking the already congested narrow passageways and towers piled precariously on top of each other. The high-pitch shriek of tearing tape can be heard the entire day together with laughter and moans as we perform acrobatic acts of hopping over the open boxes and avoid stepping into trash bags… of how we managed to accumulate so much trash and how we wish we can sweep everything one-handed into the trash bags… and how we again managed to pack something we need right now into a box already taped close… and naturally, we will not, even at the risk of gunpoint, open a box we have packed full and taped close which is naturally at the bottom of our tower of boxes anyway (Yes, I'm exaggerating)…

For a last day of term, chaos is perfectly normal as usual.

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My life has been full of newspapers recently. It included the trouble-strewn sec. 1 newspaper collections in which my kids brought newspapers on the wrong day and culminating to yesterday where they went all around the school in a one-day-garang guni attempt to collect at least 200 kg of newspaper and actually managing to collect more than 300 kg, earning the school 30 dollars…. The class was a mess of recycled paper the day before the newspaper collections… and my sec. 3 classes said they were missing newspapers due to the over-eager collectors. :p My kids can really do things when they put their heart to it… like the classroom cleaning… after a lot of nagging, the class was sparkling clean… floor mopped, tables wiped and all the corners wiped free of dust.. am so proud of them. Will be bringing P to the class barbeque on the 8^th, looking forward to their reaction :p

Also spent the past few days chasing after my Sec. 3 kids for way overdue newspaper cuttings… I actually really don't care but as the newspaper cuttings are compulsory to all, I have to do it. Spent the last day of school marking their newspaper comprehensions and ordering them to read newspapers at least once a week to build up their current affairs knowledge…

Actually feel quite hypocritical every time I tell my kids that they have to read newspapers… because I don't do it myself! For someone that gets her current affairs updates from reading Mr. Brown's blog every once in a blue moon (and marking my students' newspaper cuttings), I'm not a very good person for encouraging religious newspaper readings…

In fact, I remember back when I was a fresh 'A' level grad deciding which scholarship to pick up, upon hearing my decision to do the teaching scholarship, my ex-CL teacher said, "Are you sure? CL teachers have to read a lot of Chinese newspapers leh." Ha. She knows me best.

Despite her warnings, I still chose the teaching scholarship. And so here I am now. Force-feeding newspaper readings on students and not reading newspapers myself…but the newspapers reading are so necessary for the exams… without reading newspapers and going for exams is like going out shopping without money… but they so don't understand…

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Last day of school…. my desk is empty…. Going out dancing tonight….

first teaching anniversary

Today marks the first year anniversary of teaching… and I almost didn't remember. If not for the alarm I set a long time ago… it would have passed by without a ripple in my teaching life… Running up and down… scolding students for matters ranging from breaking the fluorescent tube by playing ball to not collecting enough newspapers… settling matters like their class outing and confiscating Da Vinci Code from students reading illegally in my class…It's a day just like another.

Still. It's been a year. Congratulations to myself.

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Went for a course yesterday and skipped a day of school. Kept falling asleep though, am so tired. Only woke up for the discussions. The instructor played a movie at the end of the course and said it wasn't compulsory to stay behind… naturally, most people left. I was one of the three that stayed behind… partly because I felt bad, partly because the show left an impression. Remembering the Titans, it was a film more on the segregation between the whites and black than on team cohesion, still, it was no less inspirational. When Gerry met with the accident and Julius visited him, his answer to the nurse's statement of only kin is allowed is simply heartbreakingly true.

For a film that handles racial segregation and harmony issues, Remembering the Titans is definitely way more idealistic than Crash, despite being a true story. But sometimes, instead of handling the issues in a way that uses thought-provoking pain, films that give us hope might not leave a stronger impact, but it does give us a reason to try…

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Term's ending… although it doesn't feel like it. I don't feel the sense of finality or relief. Not to say that I do at any end of term week. Work is still piled up and continues to pile as I type… Looking forward to the holidays though, especially for Bintan… three days of relaxing, with nothing more stressful than waking up late and lazing by the beach… swimming in the sea and ache-releasing spas…. Three days of not thinking of anything but what to eat for dinner…in fact, I'm not going to think about that either, P can decide. ….Three days of heaven…

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Went for drinks with Lin last Sat as I was feeling moody…. I actually hate the taste of alcohol. But I just wanted to not think. Turned out it didn't really work. Went to two places, the lounge at Ritz recced by Gab, and Postbar at the Fullerton . Only had three drinks but I already felt dizzy and threw up. A bartender was so worried that she held my hand all the way to the toilet and pushed a mug of warm lime water to Lin to make me drink when I didn't return to the bar after. Lin was amazing… she took care of me all night, entertaining my whims and tantrums and took me home when it appeared that I shouldn't drink anymore… I don't remember all that I've said except that it was probably very embarrassing and nonsensical and she stayed with me all the way and through the night… She said she's never seen me so upset in all our years of friendship and I'm long overdue for a breakdown… I don't know, all I know is that I hope I can snap out of this mood soon…. And I'm incredibly lucky to have Lin….

Despondency

Haven't updated for what feels like forever but turns out to be only roughly one month. This is so not good… bad, bad behavior.

Let's see… news of the month… my wushu kids did really well, most got quite a good ranking and it's was a very good experience for them. One of them did miraculously well and won a gold medal! She beat 20 other pple that trained for years even though she only trained for 2 months. Quite proud of them, for a first time, its quite a achievement.

Marking season came and went together with its days and nights of hell-froze-over-nothing-is-more-important-than-non-stop-marking…

Watched a number of plays… but somehow all seems rather blurry in my mind now except for a very simple production of Dogs Barking at a obscure corner of this little island that I've never been before. The acting was okay and the set was good but the play itself was unexpectedly provoking… the ideas of how people and emotions change and yet essentially do not… unspeakable stuff that we are capable of doing to those we once loved and still do love… I especially liked the way it ended with a short look at the way it all once started… we forget sometimes… that we were the ones that hurt ourselves in the beginning… but who can blame us? Was crying at the bus stop after the play… somehow it touched a part of me that I didn't expect…

Other shows include Burn the Floor (quality dancing), A Very British Affair (a fun night out with lots of laugh although the singing really quite sucks compared to real Broadway) and others that blurs in my mind now…

A top news recently would be the scary dental operation I underwent… with needles and thread and scissors and drills waving all over my face and a half numb jaw plus five days of porridge in which I naturally crave my Ruffles chips… all in exchange for taking out two wisdom teeth. It all seems so not worthwhile… Teeth are still numb.

Been taking turns class recently…. And conclusion is that a lot more classes are needed before I can do my turns… Haven't danced for a long time due to the operation and won't be dancing again this week as I'm watching Man of Letters on Friday with Gabriel…

Haiz… been very moody recently… nothing seems to get my spirits up and nothing makes me happy… even the news barely have anything happy in it…

爱玫瑰

在听周华健的“爱玫瑰“。听到一句“爱在十七是完美，怎么都不会累，他吻了我的额头让我无法入睡 “。带回了许多回忆。与其说回忆，不如说感觉。十七岁时的爱情，什么都甜美。似乎没有什么比之更重要。每天都为之开心或伤心得无法入睡。只在乎感觉。那么 的天真，单纯。相比下，现在的爱情，成熟，疲惫。考虑的东西之多，已远远超过当时简单的感觉。

“爱在你眼中是谁？会不会有玫瑰？“
我的爱情没有玫瑰，有的是百合与薰衣草。还有一个北京夜晚，我漫步回宿舍时买的满天星。虽然不是他送的，但我记得，那时我一手抱着满天星，一手握着手机和他讲话，心中的喜悦有他陪我分享。

他很久没送我花了。因为慢慢发现，花儿凋谢时的伤感已渐渐胜过收到花儿的喜悦，因此告诉他别再送了。有心就好。（而且新加坡的花比北京的贵太多了）

不知为何，忽然间很想收到一束满天星。简单，单纯。

scrambled thoughts

April 9th. Today is a special day because of a promise made.

Suddenly, everything is seen through different light… nothing changes but everything changes… essentially…

Its funny how everything happens on the 9th for us… hopefully it really means something ...

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On another note, yesterday was the translation competition. I’m so proud of my kids! They actually got into the finals ^_^ I really didn’t expect them to get in despite all my threats. I know, its only 4th, but 4 out of 79 teams means a great deal. And they really did very well and stood up under some very tough competition. I know that they are still upset with the results (they were so close!) but I’m really very proud of them already. All those training sessions were really worth it. They were quite disappointed when they knew that the trophy and prize money were all going straight to the school, so I treated them to lunch at Sakae after. I’ll miss them with the end of weekly training sessions… (and they were talking about celebrating their freedom!)

One down, five more competition days to go… hope my wushu kids do as well …

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Next two weeks will be hell with the afternoons all taken up and marking undone… Chinese orals for the first week and Wushu competitons the second. Still there’s Good Friday to look forward to. Treating Shimei for a pedicure and going for a play after on Sat. And may be meeting up with my favorite aunt for her birthday on Fri itself.

Also will be meeting JX. Both of us have been making plans to meet up since mid-March and the planned dinner never materialized… Its like “Why are you so busy???” and “Why are YOU so busy???” right back between the both of us... finally set a date on the 17th which both of us die die will make it for…

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April is my theatre month (I seem to have theatre months every alternate months! Watched numerous plays in Feb and none in Jan and March. Watching numerous plays in April and none in May. Already bought 4 tickets for June coz it’s the Arts Fest and none as yet for July… hmm. Weird coincidence?)

Watched A Language of Their Own by checkpoint theatre and loved it. The acting was above average though not fantastic but the play itself was absolutely amazing… pure poetry in action. It had me in tears at several points… the raw truth and emotions spilling out amidst the words…The flaws of humans and the way we destroy the people we love because we don’t dare to keep them for fear of losing them… We push what we want away because we are afraid of we want it too much… or we grip it too hard and shatter it anyway…

Remember that I didn't like Chay Yew's Porcelain which was the first part of he trilogy... really interested in Half Lives, the last of his Whitelands trilogy, waiting for it to show in singapore...

Next was A Beautiful Companion… watched this with some of my colleagues. We went for the pay-as-you-wish show. It was ok… the plot and acting was good, but the play itself was draggy.

And watched West Side Story on the 7th. (Bought the tickets last Nov on the day ticket sale opened and we still couldn’t get seats anywhere near the front! But still got center orch tickets). Enjoyed the show, as I was telling Shuhui… Some shows you go in expecting it to be good already because of the reputation (and the darn ticket price), so even when it does turn out above average, you aren’t blown away. (but there are exceptions like Wicked, that was out of my expectations!) West Side was good, yes, but it wasn’t mind-blowing fantastic. The vocals and set are of excellent caliber but it isn’t any less or more than my expectations. The only gripe I had was why didn’t Maria die in the end?!?! It isn’t loyal to R&J as I expected it to be.

Watching 2 or 3 plays towards the end of the month… will update when I get around to it…

Am not watching enough films though. Only caught Three Times with Xuan at the Picturehouse opening. It was good, typical Hou Hsiao Hsien style. The first part of the tripartite was so sweet. Almost couldn’t stand the silently shot second part despite the exquisite cinematography though. I just can’t stand silent films. Want to watch The Producers if for nothing that I love the actors and want to see the difference between the film and musical… now to find a time to see it before it closes… already hate that I missed Ingmar Bergman’s Saraband…

Also caught the finals of Campus Superstar and although I didn’t watch any of the preludes, I enjoyed the show. I think I fell in love with the winner from my alma-matar. He’s so cute and huggable! Plus I really liked the songs he sang. I’m quite impressed with the standard of these kids and the camaraderie they showed… reminded me of my JC days as Xinping said in her blog.

P booked his tix back for June… Can’t wait to see him and the days we get to spend together… Plan to take at least two trips together… Miss the way his presence calms me…. Miss the trips we take together and the experiences we share…

And that’s the end of this overdue and overlong update…

平凡的歌

最近在教《母亲》这个课题。学校的一个实习老师找来了一首阿牛的歌曲，《妈妈的爱有多少斤》。歌词很浅白，旋律柔和。很久没听这么单纯的一首歌了，没修 饰，没技巧，就是简简单单地将一个母亲和孩子之间自然流露的情感唱出来。好久没听阿牛的歌了，都忘了以前多么喜欢他的歌中的那份通俗的真。

炒一碟菜油要放几滴 煮一顿饭要用多少心
你煮过的饭有多少斤 谁能数得清 答案悄悄地藏在米缸里
妈妈的爱有多少斤 谁能数得清 答案写在她脸上的皱纹里

播这首歌时，班上出奇地安静。平时爱闹爱吵的学生听这首歌时好安静，有些眼眶微红。有些歌，还是通俗些，才能动人。

最近意外地都在听一些较平凡的歌曲。那天学生在做歌词演绎时，呈献了《有用的人》，尽管歌曲难找，他们还是坚持一定要这首歌。看到班上好多人都对 这首歌十分熟悉，在播歌曲时，他们都能跟着唱。当我说这是我第一次听这首歌，同时也没看过《小孩不笨》，他们讶然得有些好笑。但感觉到他们对这部电影的共 鸣。许多人都认为这间学校的学生都是顶尖的，但其实失败与挫折，人人都有。他们也都曾被人骂过：“你真的好笨”。三个月了，最大的收获，应该就是和这一班 多了一些默契，和对他们多了一份了解吧。从开始对他们那份沉默的气和无奈，到现在班上的些微气氛。尽管道路还很久，但我期待。

有些游戏结果不一定要获胜
有些收获不在终点而在过程

Holidays -- Come and Gone

Now Playing: 流水年华 - 庾澄庆

Second last day of the holidays and I have almost the same multitude of work that I had when the holidays started – papers unmarked, comprehensions unset, files unchecked… how did this happen?!?!

Stayed at home the whole day today in an effort to finish the comprehensions at least… but the results are dismal (only finished one with 3 left to go). Ugh, am missing the salsa fiesta for the darn comprehensions, I’ll finish them tonight if it’s the last thing I have to do to make it worthwhile.

Other things that made the holidays worthwhile (noted in point form to save time):
-- got a haircut and my very first pedicure that I’m pleased with *admires pretty toes*,
-- did a day out with mom (spa, shopping, food, movie)
-- ate two filling meals (a delicious salmon steak done rare and chili crabs), courtesy of dad in celebration of birthdays
-- spent a day at Borders, simply relaxing with a book

Not bad for a week of holidays, considering that 3 days were spent in school for trainings and seminars… still longing for June thou…

On another note, many thanks to all for the well-wishes on the day I turned quarter of a century old (^_^) Its happy to know that one is in so many people’s thoughts…

Crash

Just watched “Crash” , bought the second last two tickets that sat us right at the front row and now I have a permanent crick in my neck. But its’ worth it. It may not be better than Brokeback, but it had a message that speaks of truth.

Is it sad that I recognize parts of myself up there on the screen? The ignorance and the indifference to the ignorance I have towards those not of my race simply because I have no interaction with them and they play no part in my life. Self-centered but that’s me.

There is no black and white and somehow knowing that there are no heroes to worship and model after and no villains to slay makes us even more vulnerable and insecure.

The school’s been focusing on racial harmony recently and talks about closing the gap between the races. I would suggest playing the film to the students and teachers but I don’t think it will help, and not just because I doubt the students’ ability to understand the film.

Everyone is a bigot in some way or other and it isn’t anything that will be likely to solve itself with force-feeding lectures and speeches and attempted brainwashing.

It’s not just stereotyping. It’s the inability to understand each other. It’s the isolation of oneself and the slow subconscious thoughts that seeps into you. It’s knowing that we are all different and fear of that difference.

There’s hope in the film. Although there are parts of us that are too ugly to be seen, there’s also goodness that we don’t see. We are capable of vicious acts but also capable of heroic acts beyond belief.

And perhaps, the truth of that is good enough.

Second MC of the year

Second MC of the year and its still due to sore throat… the doctor was asking me what the hell did I do to my throat again when he saw me…haiz. Like I want to have sore throat like that…

Can’t wait for this week to be over… I think I’m more like a student than a teacher when it comes to anticipating holidays! Even holidays that are filled with work like the upcoming March holidays with translation and wushu training sessions and staff seminars and comprehension exercises and papers to mark. But I scheduled two spa days for me and Mom in celebrations of our birthdays. Also going to get a hair-cut and there’s a Salsa Fiesta on Saturday. Even more looking forward to the June Hols when P is going to come back so that we can go somewhere together. Debating between Thailand or Taiwan now with a extra short trip to KL?

Still, I really enjoy these MC days, all by myself in the house and the peace and quiet makes it easy to mark my papers… the papers and hours seem to fly by. Soreness of throat is pain but since I don’t talk to myself anyway it’s almost ignorable.

1st term is almost over, and I’m starting to get the part where I know all my students by name which makes it a lot easier…. The kids make everything worth it even when they are little devils out to get your last shred of sanity, so getting to know them is so important…

At the end of the term, one is supposed to take stock of one’s work life… but my thoughts seem to be running everywhere…

Making a Difference...

Now Playing: Bless the Broken Road - Rascal Flatts

Mom forwarded me a mail today that I want to share with all my teaching friends out there (of which there are many!)

I would like to share the following excerpt from New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman's speech at the commencement of Williams College on June 5 last year.

It goes like this: 'The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued this way: 'What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher? You know, it's true what they say about teachers: Those who can do, do, and those who can't do, teach.''

To corroborate his statement he said to another guest, 'Hey, Susan, you're a teacher. Be honest, what do you make?''

Susan, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness, replied, 'You want to know what I make? I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could and I can make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence.

'I can make a C-plus feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor and an A feel like a slap in the face if the student didn't do his or her very best.' Susan continued, 'I can make parents tremble when I call home or feel almost like they won the lottery when I tell them how well their child is progressing.'

'Gaining speed, she went on: 'You want to know what I make? I make kids wonder, I make them question, I make them criticize, I make them apologize and mean it, I make them write and I make them read, read, read. I make them show all their work in maths and hide it all on their final drafts in English.'

'Susan then stopped and cleared her throat. 'I make them understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart. And if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make in money, you pay them no attention.''Susan then paused. 'You want to know what I make?' she said. 'I make a difference. What about you?'

Yesterday was the release of the ‘O’ level results… my first batch… the overall results weren’t good and I was kinda disappointed by a couple of my kids that I spent a lot of time on when they didn’t score distinctions (actually I should be glad that they managed to pass at all!). But in the afternoon amidst walking around the school attending to various CCA matters, I was stopped by several of my ex-students… saying simply, “Thanks, we scored A1”. One kid that was very worried about his results last year called out to me from the 3rd floor when he saw me walking back to the staff room, “Laoshi thanks! I got my A1!”

In actuality… I don’t think I did a lot for these kids... they worked hard on their own for their own results. I simply answered questions and talked to them when they lost confidence. But perhaps in my own little way of giving them that extra bit of time… I did make a little difference… and that makes all the difference in the world to me when I see them….

Reading the above passage, I don’t know if I make all that much difference in my kids’ world. But I know I do make them read, read read. *grins* For many of us who are in the teaching line… its often tiring and tedious and never-ending….but one thing it is not… it’s not thankless. Especially when you see that little bit of difference you make… Here’s hoping all of us remember that in the daily grind of our life…

Draining week...

Now Playing: Dancing Through Life - Wicked Soundtrack

Had an extremely busy and tiring week…. The bones are now aching in a show of defiance against the torture I subjected them to…

Monday’s Jazz and Merengue got me home at an hour of 11 meaning I only managed to fall into bed after midnight, muscles burning from the two hour exercise…

Tuesday was dinner and play Long House with XP. We stayed for the post show talk with the director and playwright… thus I again got home at 11…

Wednesday, my Lion Dance had a outside performance at MICA in which we completed the seemingly impossible feat of carrying the drum and drum cart up the lorry by again roping in my poor ex-students… and after which was a swimming and sauna session with Mom which was satisfyingly hot and strenuous... the good thing was I got home early and was in bed by 10.

Thursday, an unusually stretched out pilates session and an extremely fulfilling dinner with JX after…

Friday is the first 2nd level U&I class… and Vincent was out to prove the difference between 1st and 2nd level by teaching 5 complicated sequences in which I’m starting to realize that my shoulders are in actuality not mine at all….

Saturday is my ambitious day to watch 2 plays in a day, Mahjong Eclipse and the Last Night of Jin Taipan, the latter ending at the hour of 11… with much delayed shopping done in between, exercising both the body and mind with the bonus of the wallet........

And now we are at Sunday… with my essays yet unmarked and the common tests papers coming in tmr….

华裔 06

今晚看了《金大班的最后一夜》，也不知是否因为之前的期望过高，使我三个小时后有点失望。尤其是对刘晓庆的演绎，整场戏看了下来，没有丝毫的感动，只觉做戏的味道过重。

从开场时，金大班首次现身，在夜巴黎舞厅的门口一站，应该是惊艳，却只见一个徐娘半老却非风韵犹存的女子做作的摆pose。接下来和童得怀的骂戏，原是我 很期待的一场戏，刘晓庆演来泼辣有余，却少了金兆丽的那一股锐气，十足象个泼妇骂街。最后那三声“哼”更是可笑，这就是金大班的狠辣气势？

台北夜巴黎的戏还看得下去，至少刘晓庆把金大班的苍凉与看尽风月的冷眼演了出来。但上海百乐门的那几场戏却真是让人失望。十里洋场的头牌舞女打扮 得那么媚俗已让人无法忍受，再加上女主角夸张的演绎，我真的看不到一个聪明伶俐，风姿绰约的金兆丽。更加看不出这女子凭什么成为上海的当红舞小姐。金兆丽 虽性格爽朗善良，但也八面玲珑，手段厉害。否则如何能在歌舞场中打滚二十年？听到台上的金兆丽的嚎哭时，实在忍不住皱眉，因为真的与我在小说中读的金兆丽 相差太远，再年轻的玉观音，也不该那样嚎哭，骨子里的坚韧要强不容许她下这个面子。

也许是小说让我感觉太过完美了，使我对歌舞剧百般挑剔。尤其玉观音金兆丽的形象在我心中太过鲜明，使我无法接受刘晓庆的版本。听说原来制作人想找巩俐或梅艳芳来演，真想看看她们的金大班会是如何。

不过下午的《非常麻将》却真的很精彩。三个演员与饰演的角色已成一体，丝毫没有演戏痕迹。剧本也让人回味无穷。这部戏有《等待果陀》的味道却没有《等》剧 的沉闷与乏味，可以说是这次的华裔我看的三部戏中最好的一部。《长屋》剧本可还算扣人心弦，但演员的功力毕竟还是差一截，演员始终无法融入角色。尤其竟然 还出现忘词的情况，实在很难原谅。不知何时，新加坡的戏会有人艺的水准？

Pre-CNY days

Typing this in school now in between marking journals that I have to finish in order to return my class tomorrow so that I can set homework for the weekend to give me more marking to do next week…. Ha…it’s a vicious cycle. (also in between of being called out by students for various misc. items including arrangement of tables and chairs...)

The week before CNY celebrations was not a good week… Besides been in charge of wushu which has two, TWO performances on the day of the celebrations itself meaning the entire week is taken up by rehearsals both dry and wet, I'm also unhappily in charge of the decorations meaning the week was spent running around the school monitoring students hanging up the various lanterns and red cloths, not to mention looking for poor students to hang the stuff up itself. Therefore, for the duration of the week, I was running around in between both rehearsals as well as wherever my students are hanging up decorations!

As if this is not enough, one of my wushu kids twisted his knee on Tuesday and I had to send him to the hospital…(I had to attend a meeting on Tuesday too so it ended up I was supposed to be at 4 places at the same time?!) And all kinds of misc. stuff was stirred up too because of this incident (accident reports, talking to coach, talking to parents etc etc etc), all adding to the whole cauldron of stuff on my already too full plate…esp since my poor kid is rendered immobile… thank goodness he is still in good spirits. He's really a good kid.

Seeing the week as thus, I'm proud of the fact that I still managed to exercise nearly everyday. Jazz on Monday, swimming on Wednesday, pilates on Thursday and U&I plus salsa on Friday. I managed to complete the full schedule! On such a week too!

In the end, Friday's celebrations turned out well. Both the lion dance and wushu performances were well received and I got a lot of compliments from other teachers despite the hiccups beforehand. Thursday's rehearsals sucked so much, the kids were all tired out from training non-stop since nov and horribly dispirited by Tuesday's incident. I was all ready for an awful performance, but they bucked up on the day itself… They are such a good bunch… the decorations were all up and ready… thanks to some of my ex-students who happened to be hanging around when I was desperate for help… and they did so without complain. Rewarded them all with goodies which are really not enough..

But I was all ragged by this time… after the celebrations and visiting my student in the hospital… so needed a break. Discovered that I forgot to bring suitable exercise clothes for U&I, so decided to go shopping at Seiyu. Wanted to buy suitable slacks and exercise tee anyway (being substituting shorts and t-shirts). So it ended up my new year clothes are exercise slacks and tees… haha..,

Met Sher for lunch and we had waffles. And she gave me such a sweet pressie! Its one of a kind and has a very special meaning for the both of us. We talked about how we don't meet up as often anymore… leaving us all nostalgic for our uni days..

Watched Memoirs of the Geisha… it really followed the book… know that some of my friends don't like it.. but I found that all that I didn't like about it are points that I didn't like about the book too… the abruptness of the ending twist being one. It kept all the parts that I liked about the book and the scenes are pretty, so it was okay. The three actresses lived up to the hype too so I'm not disappointed. Looking forward to Pirates and Casanova though. Also contemplating watching Brokeback again especially since its not going to be cut at all.

And that's the Pre-CNY days….

高行健

昨天和家人去了高行健的水墨画展，看了他跟《焦点》的访问和香港为他做的一个节目。也看了他的戏《八月雪》的几个片断，读了几页《灵山》。

不喜欢高行健。不喜欢他那自负又故作超然的态度。弟弟说艺术家都必须够骄够傲才能成功。妈妈说他有傲的本事。是吗？可我看过许多和高一样有本事的大家，一站在讲台上或与人交谈时，谦谦君子的风度自然流露，让人打从心底佩服。已达巅峰却仍保持谦逊之心，这才是所谓的成功。高行健自言艺术家是世界公民，一切只以人性为重。认为自己已脱离世俗眼光，作品被称超凡脱俗，戏剧禅意深远。是吗？

也许是我眼光庸俗，仍旧无法看得明白。傲不是不好，自负也非坏事，但太过骄纵的人，却又如何能够真正理解生命？ 一个故作清高的艺术家，又如何放低身段去了解何谓人性？一个超然脱俗的人，自认在乎的东西不多了，却在言语中流露对中国的埋怨。总觉得在听一个被赶出家门的孩子说不需要家的气话。虽然自称不在乎，语气的酸意却欲盖弥彰。无法放下，如何无我？明镜亦非台，何处染尘埃。若非无物，尘埃拭后仍来，徒留指纹在在。

哎，说了这么多，也不是说这个全球华人的首个诺贝尔奖得主不好。虽然他似乎挺埋怨得了这个奖。喜欢他说的一句话：“人的终极目标是在此刻当下，生命本身。” 能说出这样的话的人，总有值得人佩服之处。也许，只是我自己不懂而已。

无论如何，好久没一家人一起出门了。也真的挺开心的。

At the End of the Day

Now Playing: At the End of the Day - Emi Fujita

Misc. items for the past two weeks include a cousin outing which shows that I do follow up to what I say! Haha.. it wasn’t a very successful one though coz another cousin couldn’t make it becoz of work and my own brother was off filming the rain of all things.. We’ll try to get another more complete one in when cny rolls by…

Had my first vocal lesson with the second one due today. Also have a few lesson due to start next week… jazz, body movement and merengue if it isn’t cancelled… pilates was supposed to start last week but Helen couldn’t make it. But I managed to pull Lirong down for dinner and we had quite a chat so it wasn’t all a wasted trip...

Gab came over last Sat for a rest in between his many dates and we went down to Orchard together where we had respective dates for the night… caught a glimpse of his latest girl before I met Fen for dinner.

Also met JL and Shufen on the 2nd for lunch at My Humble Home. Always wanted to try the fusion food there… and it was really yummy. I had duck cigar roll which is juz a glam name for spring roll but it was very crispy and the sauce was just right.

Also got my gift from P from JL… Wicked soundtrack! And he really wrapped it up and added a surprise which turned out to show how sweet but silly he is…it brings back memories of that perfect night….

All in all, the first two weeks of 2006 have been quite fruitful… work-filled yes, but with little nuggets of fun in between… and I do enjoy the work despite all my whining and grumbling… It’s fun dealing with my kids and I had a few successful classes with my sec 1 kids that show great promise. My Sec 3s is another story but I’ll just try harder… Miss my Sec 4s, but I do see them now and again, the cheeky terrors… However, friends have been saying I look tired and colleagues comment that I look less “fresh” compared to last year…

Looking back the past two weeks of running to and fro…somehow the days seem to mesh altogether… I always seem to tell myself the same thing and yet forget it the very next minute, to take things slower… to take each day as it comes… to count my blessings at the end of each day...

Tomorrow's just a dream away
Close the curtain on today

Concerts and stuff....

Now Playing: Every Breath You Take - Emi Fujita

*surfaces and dusts off the journal*

I am definitely not good at keeping a journal… its been 2 weeks since I’ve last updated! Darn… must work harder at this..

What’s new in the life? School started which is the major reason for the lack of updates, been dizzy running around recently busy with the CCA which did 3 shows recently, 2 for the orientation and the last which isn’t really a show but had so many darn rehearsals for a less than 3 minutes “welcome” and a less than 2 minutes finale…for 5 minutes worth of show, it took numerous rehearsals through the past 2 weeks and 2 full days down at UCC. Is it worth it? Well… all I know was I breathed a lot easier when it was all over.... there was so many nitty-gritty little things to look out for… minor ones including the fact that the lion heads must have someone looking after them at all times, there was two shows at the UCC therefore two guest-of-honors arriving and I had to make sure the lion heads only appeared after the other show guest-of-honor arrives (it didn’t help that I’m not into politics and had absolutely no idea what the minister of state looked like and had no idea who among the many vvips is the guy!). Added to all is the incessant chatter of my girls… I have a near-migraine by the time I get home each night…

My co-teacher-in-charge was laughing at me when I muttered for the darn guest-of-honor to get in the hall so I can get my boys to carry the silver cart with the enormous drum across the hall and stow it away safely for the night. Yes, carry, coz UCC is afraid that rolling it over with it rubber-soled wheels will scratch their precious marble floor... but at that point… all I wanted was for it all to be over…

Thank goodness 50 years only comes once every… erm… 50 years… hopefully the next time another 50 years rolls around, I’ll only have to turn up before the show starts and settle in comfortably to enjoy it…

Still, it’s a worthwhile experience… for the whole school to work together to put up a show, one can really feel the school spirit… like BH said… 50 years doesn’t come by easily…

And although I didn’t tell them, I’m really proud of my wushu kids… they did really well for both the wushu show in the orientation and the welcome and finale last night… I can really see the change in them… from the nervous first time they had to perform on the parade ground for the “lighting of eyes” ritual, to the poise they showed last night… I was biting my nails for fear that they’ll miss the finale cue but they came exactly on time…

They have been training almost daily since the holidays started last year and for long hours each time (I’m talking from 11am to 6pm)… I know they are tired and their parents aren’t very happy with the long hours and frequent trainings… but other than the few times they come to me and ask when their last performance is, they barely complained… they are good kids, incessant chatter and all… and the poor things will have a long time to wait before they can take a break... the upcoming show for cny is due in two weeks and after that is the Chinese Culture Fortnight...

New Year's Eve

Now Playing : Casablanca - Bertie Higgins

Went dancing last night with Nick and Adrian, had lots of fun and it was a great stress-reliever after a work-filled week. It was wonderful to see Nick again although he looks so tired… he had a work-filled holiday compared to me. Hope the 3 hours of dancing helped, we only got home after 2! Met a cousin whom I didn’t recognize, he changed so much but we did grow up together… so bad of me…I don’t meet my cousins often enough except for Jia… Perhaps we should organize another cousin outing for CNY? Hm… in addition to organizing the darn CNY celebrations itself for the school. Argh.

School started early for us ‘chers with full day seminars and meetings and before-start-of-school work this week… its also the time when our work throughout the year gets distributed…. Feeling extremely overwhelmed with the sheer workload lined up….the first half of the year looks geared for insanity. But now there’s a 3 day respite before the madness begins. Will try to get in more rest than fun for these 3 days… But going down to Union Sq for the countdown tonight again to get in more dancing after meeting Shimei for dinner :p

Watched a couple of films recently too… Caught Narnia yesterday… it’s an excellent film, gorgeous vistas and the acting was marvelous considering the child actors…and from what I remembered, it remained quite loyal to the book. It made me want to re-read the entire Narnia series…remember loving the novel when I read it as a kid..

Also watched Pride and Prejudice… now I understand why Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy are the favorite fiction couple of many of my friends. They are amazingly subtle and romantic and so snarky! Have never read the novel but its now near the top of my list.

Going to catch Letters Home tonight at the concourse… anyone else goin sms me! Also going to try to catch Merry Christmas at Cathay before school starts somehow… otherwise, the first two days of the year is looking to be quiet and relaxing… hope it’ll be a good omen for the entire year… *dreams as my outlook calendar mocks me*

August Wilson

Now Playing: Brahms Lullabye - Kenny G

When flipping open the Playbill for Altar Boyz, I was struck by the first page with line “two weeks to the day after playwright August Wilson died of cancer…”

I’m not really familiar with the works of August Wilson, having never watched any of his ten renowned long plays, but I did meet him once in Seattle in his solo autobiographical monologue, The August Wilson Project, subtitled How I learned what I learned. My major impression was the plate on the door stating that the play will run for 4 hours and 30-sth minutes which made P want to go home straightaway… it turned out to be joke on how long his plays always run.

I don’t actually remember much of the content of his monologue on his life but for bits and pieces… I remember that his life wasn’t easy and admired him of making so much out of it. I remember him as a somewhat cynical man who have seen a lot and done a lot, someone old and tough but not lacking in wit and extremely sharp. P actually remembers more details…

I didn’t know who August Wilson was when I decided to queue for the show at Seattle Rep. Theatre 2 years ago; it was more of an impulse thing… I still didn’t know who August Wilson was when we left but for the fact that this is one guy that has really lived his life… and now thinking back… I don’t think he has any regrets….

And I guess that’s all I know now about him...as a person that has really lived his life. And for that fact, I feel really lucky that we had a chance to see him and hear him share about his life… I’m glad we didn’t leave that night at seeing the plate stating that the play will run for 4 hours…

Home sweet home…

Now Playing: Silver Bells - Kenny G


Reached home and am sick… miss Boston and P terribly… miss the days of lazing around in the room with snow on the windowsills and hot tea in hand and good book on the lap… miss being able to bug P to go out and the laughter in the crisp, cold air…. Didn’t get enough of either this time with the usual two months cut down to two weeks and the days in New York…

Wrote the diary of the past few days manually during transit in Detroit and am too lazy to repeat here esp with me sniffling and coughing every few minutes… have to report to sch in awhile too…and can anyone tell I’m feeling sorry for myself? Ugh, have to snap out of this…

Having my short list of 20 Christmas songs on a loop to keep me uplifted and in a X’mas mood… miss 106.7 with their endless christmas songs...

Two weeks left of holidays… minus the days I have to go to sch, I have approx 9-8 days to myself… want to watch a few films, Narnia, Pride and Prejudice and Geisha when it comes out… anyone interested call me…

Snow

Now Playing: Seasons of Love - Original Broadway Cast

Happy, wonderful snowy day today….

Woke up to a snow-covered Boston…went out to find that its still snowing, light and steady snow that covered the ground rapidly… When we got out of the T, the snow was getting icier and we wondered if its going to snow the whole day…

Watched Rent, the film version. It was as fabulous as the musical itself… they cut some parts but somehow, the real-life shots of Ave A itself, the iron-cast building Mark and Roger stayed in, the subway and the nightclub Mimi danced in… everything made the entire telling more coherent and realistic than the musical….not to say that that the film version is better thou.. they both have their qualities…loved Mark’s film at the end. Its what I missed seeing in the musical. It made for a very good conclusion of the show… and Mimi was gorgeous!

Emerged from the show to discover that the snow has actually gotten heavier! Huge flakes of the snow falling over Boston Common and its really gigantic flakes… we can see crystal designs..… It was stunning, the Christmas lights twined in the trees sparkling through the crystal flakes… We originally wanted to walk to the library but decided to opt for taking the T instead….Trinity looked like a snow-covered cottage through the blurred snowy view….…

Had a good haul in the library… even found a book on a shelf that I was on reserve for… althou what is it doing on the shelf when I already reserved it several weeks earlier is anyone’s guess…. I did a twirl on the lobby while waiting for the books and the librarian laughed and said that the snow is making me so happy that I’m dancing! Well, books and snow are always an intoxicating mix for me : )

We went to Copley Mall for lunch at the sushi bar and a spot of window shopping… originally wanted to adjust the bracelet P got for me for X’mas but discovered that there’s a 2 week wait… decide to wear it by hooking it through one of the loops instead… by now, there’s a wind to contend with together with the snow…. In the trek from the library to the mall, I can literally feel the icy chips striking at my face… it hurts like a blizzard! The roads are all covered and one can barely see the steps up to the library… We came out all frosted like an icing cake and I was laughing the whole time… its so fun :)

Went to the Coop to buy a couple of books that I wanted to get for the flight home… Wicked by Maguire and Brokeback Mountain… By now, the snow have cleared and the air was crystal clear… the scenery seems extra-defined, the silver-tipped trees and pristine powder-laden pathways and lawns…and a beautifully soft rose-gold sunset in the distance even though its barely 4pm…

Topped it all off with a warm bath, which after a freezing day is absolute bliss…

Film, music, books, snow, sushi, warmth and P by my side through it all… all my favorite things in the world…it’s a wonderful Christmas…

p/s: just discovered that the national weather service in taunton issued a winter storm warning of a snowfall of 6 or more inches for a 12-hour period from sunrise onwards..."anyone planning travel should monitor later forecasts and be prepared to modify travel plans"... guess we were too late for that *grins*

New York, New York

Juz came back from 3 days in New York. As my brother was there... it was 3 art-filled days...

Spent the first day in MoMA where I was mesmerized by Monet's triptych and Pollack's huge drip-art painting. Also saw a number of paintings that I've only heard of before.. Dali's Persistence of Memory, Van Gogh's Starry Night... There was also an amazing photograph gallery. It snowed at night when we were at West 4th...

2nd day was back to Chelsea's art galleries. There was a collection called Liquidation that I fell in love with... the dreamy landscapes and secretive trees... If I have the money... I'll definitely buy at least 2-3 of the works... We split up to different shows at night and I went to Altar Boyz, an off-broadway production that had all its audience in stitches. It was great fun althou I felt it could have gone deeper. But the songs were wonderful and it had a lot of heart in it. They got a standing ovation and the entire theatre setting was very intimate which is what I liked. For a TKTS ticket, I sat 3rd row centre which was unbelievable luck by itself. The theatre itself left an impression. Its the same theatre we watched Naked Boys Singing in, but I didn't notice it at that time. Its a cineplex converted into a 5-theatre ...erm.. theatreplex? Quite unique in a sense and thus all the theatres are quite small.

3rd day morning was spent wandering around the snow-covered Central Park while my brother searched for the elusive Bethesda fountain. We started from our hostel st. at 106th and walked by the Conservatory and North Meadows which is a area I've never explored before. Spent approx 2 hours simply crossing from one point to another... after which I left for my play while they went off to the Met.

Watched Seascape by Edward Albee...It was a very deep play with a veneer of comedy... I originally thought it was about the relationship between an old couple, the quirks and the way they live and think together... however, when the lizards appear, everything took on a different dimension. It turned out to be about evolution instead... but it still seems to be able to play another way... Went to Albee's Q&A session at the Lincoln at 630 and after hearing his piece and seeing the way he answer questions... I came out with more questions than answers... Its a really interesting play. For a play written 30 years back, its still very much related to the current day situations... or perhaps its becoz people never really changes...

Had some time in between before I was to meet my mom and brother for the Wicked lottery, so I went to the library... took some time to walk through the Christmas Fair at Bryant Park which really gets one into the X'mas spirit. All the red and green and white tents done up in sparkling lights and twines... the little trinkets... There was a couple of exhibitions in the library as well to take up my time and Astor Hall was simply beautiful... a huge Christmas Tree with all the golden light reflecting off the marbled halls and steps...

Left the library slightly late and did a 10 block sprint from the 40th and 5th to the 50th and 8th in order to make it for the lottery which of coz we didn't win... argh. But In My Life cancelled on us so we'll try for the cancellation line on our last night in New York..

Anyway, one amazing piece of news... was on a search for this cosy restaurant on the Upper West Side...above 63rd... that P and I went to on our first trip to NYC. Remembered it had a fireplace and the food was delicious... I always thought that I read about it in my trusty DK guide but after a couple of searches, I could never find it. Spent almost an hour trawling up and down between 69th to 71st yest. afternoon with no luck. I almost gave up and thought it a lost cause. But yesterday night, mom and I left Lincoln for dinner and was just walking up Colombus planning to stop at the first promising restaurant, I actually saw it! W 68th St.! I almost couldn't believe my eyes! And the place is still the same with the roaring fireplace and we were sat right back at the same table. The dinner menu isn't as good as the brunch menu we ate the first time but the smoked salmon is still delicious. I'm so happy that I found it again :)

Was almost late for my 10pm bus at Chinatown.. did a sprint down Canel St (I seem to be running everywhere yesterday) and just made it in time. Left at 10pm and reached Boston at 2am... Slept through most of the trip...

And now its the first lazy day I've had in weeks... woke up at 12 and cooked lunch with P and JL... going to spend the day doing absolutely nothing....

Back and Gone..

Now Playing: 珊瑚海 - 周杰伦

Touched down this morning at 6am, but was delayed at the airport due to my dear student who left her passport in the magazine pocket of the plane… haiz. Blur like sotong... but she’s a sweet girl that reminds me a lot of myself. That’s something I would do when I was young too, I remember leaving my diary which was never recovered in the exact same place when I was twelve… She supposedly looks a lot like me too! Rendy kept telling me that a girl in his class resembles me and apparently its her.

The 6 day trip is full of little details that are swimming around my mind now… my first experience of being in charge of students overseas… too many to say so I’ll probably end up not saying anything… kinda miss my dear kids that are very guai but never shut up… the bus journey filled with laughter and songs and lame jokes and non-understandable games…

Met kq for dinner one night at Wu Dao Kou that looks nothing like the Wu Dao Kou I remember… wanted to go Yu Tai Lang but he recommended another Jap place with half price for sushi, it isn’t anything like the jap places that I remember but the food was delicious and we went to Sculpting in Time Wu Dao Kou’s branch for cake and tea. Yes, Diao Ke has a branch in WDK and also god-knows-where around Beijing… remember the times when there was only one branch and the afternoons I spent there staring out of the window with my work in front of me and a jug of lavender tea…. This new branch looks exactly like the Diao Ke I remember…

The Ps and Heads knew I wanted to go back to PKU for a visit so they arranged it that I could join the Beida Fuzhong group on the afternoon of the PKU tour as I was actually in charge of the Shida Fuzhong group… they are really nice pple and took great care of me when I was there… the campus was still the same… from Weimin to Wumei… I wanted to go back to Weimin at night…. But didn’t get a chance…

Met Lin in the afternoon for chestnuts. Heard so many good things about it that I had quite high expectations. It was pretty good although the first part had way too many star wars and it was a little too pink. But I loved the Rent spoofs and the past year theatre review which summed up the local theatre year scene pretty well. It’s a good way to end the year and both Jon Lim and Hossan Leong are quality humorists.

And now… to pack and bath before I have to run for another flight…and my dear brother only just got home. He was attending a full day film workshop of some sorts for the past few days and has yet to pack as well (althou he did win some film competition of sorts)….it’ll be a rush for time for the next few hours….

Ramblings...

Now Playing: Light My Candle – Rent Original Broadway Cast

Dead tired… Its 2am and I woke up at 7am this morning due to a disgusting spam mail that got my mom all paranoid. Argh. Still very vexed at the thought that I got woke up for a spam mail! Got so mad that I emailed P to do some darn thing to kill off the spammers’ email acct.

Went back to school to attend to a few misc. stuff regarding tmr’s trip and to finish up the lesson plans. Most of the staff are back as it was the 50th Anni concert rehearsal as well as cca day. Met many of the teachers that weren’t around for the past 2 weeks due to marking. Felt very happy : ) I really like the rapport and r’ship that our department share… appreciate it even more after hearing the horror stories some of my friends share about their school. We really care about each other in our department, teasing and helping each other out… I actually sit nearer to the English dpt and we also share a lovely r’ship. They feel more like friends than colleagues… All of them know that I’m flying off tmr and they all teased me, knowing that I’m the type that won’t have packed yet. And when I left for the day, many of them esp “sent” me off with well wishes and requests for stuff from China… felt like part of a family…

Only left the school at near to 5 despite plans to leave earlier… work is always never ending… whenever I go back to school, there never seems to be time to even sit down properly… there’s always people to see, tasks to complete, errands to run… whenever I’m preparing to leave, something else would come up…. But finally got most of the little errands done and the lessons plans completed at stage 1… yes… there’s still a stage 2 waiting for me when I get back…

Met Nekko for Rent at night. Our seats were actually horribly far back… but expected nothing more as we bought the cheapest tix (which already cost 80 bucks!) But the musical was excellent! There were a few screw ups with the lighting and acoustics as it was the first day I guess, but it didn’t detract the quality of the musical. Its still pure power. The music is amazing, all the rage and energy vibrating… We were so far back that I can’t see the faces at all but I still cried when Angel died… Karen Mok was better than I expected too..

Went down to Union Sq. to meet my salsa classmates after Rent… its really insane and I only reached Union Sq. at 1130pm. But I really wanted to dance! And I did manage to dance a lot tonight. Danced mostly with Nick who showed me the new moves he learnt in his two classes of LA style. Danced with few other odd guys that asked and had one dance with our Cuban instructor. The Latinas sang live at about 1am and they were really fabulous. I discovered a quiet room at the back of Union Sq with live singing of ballades. It’s a good hideout when we want a short rest from dancing! Danced for 2 hours till about 130am and Nick sent me back…. Exhausted from the day but its worth it…

But now its about 230 am and I’m due at the airport at 2pm tmr and I haven’t even touched any of my packing yet! Not to mention all the little misc. stuff I have to do before flying… of which I can’t remember any at all…except I know the fact that I haven’t got moisturizer yet…

Still… I’m sleeping first…everything else will have to come later…hitting the bed the moment my hair dries…

workshop completed

3rd day of the workshop.

Qingliang started by sharing some of experiences in using drama techniques for vocational institutes students who are more hyperactive. The idea is to be flexible and to do something that they can identify with. What he used was to ask them to do an action or an image for every hour of the day and a mood/hour demographic graph.

从他们的剧象/动作中，找出他们的问题。

QL kept reminding us not to do psycho-analysis. We are not psychologists. Too often, teachers see a problem and rush to take over and solve it. No, what we should do is to seek the problem, uncover it for the students to see, take a step back, and allow the students themselves to solve it. Sometimes, we don’t even need to know what the root of the problem is, as long as the students themselves know… that’s enough…they are the one that would know what to do… not us.

5 roles of a teacher
- 操控者（尤其操控节奏）
- 参与者（施与受的平衡）
- 引导者（提问的技巧）
- 扮演者（地球妈妈的例子，教师扮演妈妈，让学生问）
- 观察者（聆听的重要性）


The activities and games aren’t there to arouse interest. They are there to create 冲突。 激发学生，挑起他们的身心意。We should never use the games juz to arouse interest… All the games have a certain element of danger. That’s becoz that’s life. Games reflect life… and in every game, we see a miniature society…

游戏往外fox 往内net

Games of the day:
- Couple up with one blindfolded and the other making a sound. Seek the other by sound - >emphasis on the process,
- 1,2,3…..+1 game. For every one in the group to say one diff number without setting a plan beforehand -> emphasis in 默契/节奏
- Dream sequence 冥想 using the vocab from a text -> coupled with music and imagination. .. it quiets the class down.
- >They might play a fool and not take part, but some part of it will go in
to them subconsciously… - 最珍贵的宝贝 vs. 扶持你的人：对比
- Magnetic Image. Use a short play to express your feelings of the 3 day course
- > ideas brought out by others’ play… what do one give up for teaching?

Tableaux
Grp 1: intertwined hands of yesterday

Grp 2: Image
Ideal -> real step by step.
Use Internal Monologue before asking them to use 2 words, color, sound to express their thought. Ask them to make the sound in the end. 内心独白的酝酿再表达。 声音更能把情绪表达出来 – 是创作的起点

Give 3 wishes to each of the participants to change the image.

Grp 3: Image
Ask the audience which who do they identify with in the image and to join them in the same pose. Then do a mass monologue. Ask “I want…?”
寻找共鸣点。 群体运作。观众进入画面，不再有观众，画面不再单独。
压迫者教学法-〉非个人，而是社群互助。
听了大家的独白后，深化原来摆画面的人的内心，累积了全部人的独白。
再启动一个人去改变画面（画面的主体）
改得不真实？问观众能否接受。 Reverse forum technique
Dropping to the universe – freeze the image/action and ask his emotions/thought. Going from subjective to objective


Grp 4:
Ask “What are you afraid of? …Why?...” Peeling off the onion layer by layer
To seek the fear and the root of the fear. (go back and write, why are you afraid as the role)

Tableaux
- uses many diff technique
- centers around “ what I want”/ “what I fear”
- 欲望和恐惧
- 彩虹的欲望与恐惧 – 多色多层，两者交战
- cops in the head – 以不同的技巧拨开剧象的多层面
- remember to do it progressively... from want to fear, going deeper step by step
- Never assume you understand the tableaux
- Honour every word
- STOP. LOOK.THINK.TALK
- Aternative: Boxing match. Lots of action with the audience coming up to give the roles ideas in what to do. Eg. Mom/Daughter fight
- HW: write letters/reflection and exchange them the next day. Online Blog


Importance of rituals:
Starting the day off sitting in a circle and ending the day off sitting in a circle and doing a monologue.
Rituals give a sense of completeness and security

Way to break thru the first sense of awkwardness ：Doing pair tableaux. One person to use the other to form his/her image. No ownership and thus no awkwardness?

戏剧课常用的就大策略
1．热身游戏
2．剧场游戏（训练听、看、集中力、合作关系）
3．角色扮演：学生入戏、教师入戏
4．剧象
5．思路追踪
6．坐针毯
7．过程戏剧 & 专家外衣 Process Drama
8．论坛剧场 – 不同人上前取代角色解决问题

庆亮问了我们一个问题
我们在备课时，看的是一个礼拜，还是一年？
我们看学生时，看的是一年还是一生？
我们是在备知识，还是备生命？
我们是以教师的角度看，还是学生的角度看？

我的问题：我是在用心教书。但我有没有将心比心地以想过学生要的是什么？
我知道，太多时候，我只看一个礼拜，没看一年。
反思时，思绪太乱，我说不出什么。但一个老师说，我在扮演剧象时，无意间说出了一句话。庆亮问我怕什么，我说怕课永远无法上完。为什么？怕无聊。为什么？没意义。
没意义。我们有没有想过。上一堂课的意义在哪

NYC plans...

Woke up with my back aching… so looking forward to tonight’s pilates class. Haiz. Getting old liaoz… nowadays always back ache neck ache like that..

P morning called me this morning, reminded me of some things I’ve been neglecting for the states trip… jotting them down to remind myself.

- Find a salsa place to social on the 1st night of the 4th at NYC
- Find a play to watch on the 7th
- Settle the tickets for Brokeback Mountain/Rent on the 9th
- Find out if I need to sign up for the workshop on the 13th and sign up for it
- Settle the bus tickets to and fro from NYC and Boston
- Cash in the darn usd check!

Now… a rough guide of the itinerary… mostly for P

4th – Land, meet P, check in at Jazz on the Park. Dinner at Live Café, Salsa, send P off
5th – Brooklyn Bridge and Heights in the day, Chelsea Art Galleries, Comedy Cellar
6th – Wicked at night. Don’t remember what in the day…museums/east village?
7th – Don’t remember what in the day again… watch a play at night and leave for Boston
8th – at boston.
9th – watch brokeback mountain/rent
10th – watch brokeback mountain/rent
11th – Mom arrives/Salsa social
12th – bring mom about boston
13th – bring mom about boston… salsa workshop at night
14th – P have exams/bring mom about boston
15th – Leave for NYC… Strand. Watch Woman in White
16th – don’t remember what in the day… watch In My Life at night
17th – Fly back to S’pore

Hm. A lot of empty days that are probably in Lew’s planner… or any reccs on what to do? Any recc for a good play to watch in NYC too? I don’t want any more musicals…Also need a recc on a good place to salsa in NYC…

xenbar

Now Playing: 逍遥叹 - 胡歌

Tired....Today was the last day of the course and I really should type my notes out... but my bones feel like liquid...

Met Fen for dinner just now. She had lots of work due tmr, but I still pulled her to xenbar for a hour of dancing... She's way too kind as she said... Haven't seen her for a year, apparently she went thru another r'ship... but she's still the same girl I met back in jc... sometimes, life works in ways we can't understand... and we take more detours than we want. but as long as things work out in the end... everything will end up alright... hope things work out for you faster...

Xenbar is way smaller than I expected... cosier somehow. 7 bucks for a hour of dancing is abit steep... esp when we spent 1 hour waiting first... but its an alternative when I can't make it for jitterbugs's friday social and still want to keep to my at-least-once-a-week dance resolution. And guys there take the initiative to ask girls to dance! Danced with almost all the guys there and I don't spend as much time waiting in between dances as I do at Jitters.

Back to school again tmr and friday... back to work.. (somehow the 3 day workshop doesn't feel like work at all!). Feeling slightly despondent. Well... at least there's Rent on Friday to look forward to!

2nd day of course...

Now Playing: My Confession - Josh Groban

2nd day of the course. Today’s activities were lesser than yesterday’s, but dug much deeper. Qingliang talked about the connection between Drama and Life, how Drama *is* Life. Without life, there won’t be any Drama. Drama, also known as Play, of how the games we played were really mini-plays in action.

Indeed, today is a day of reflection. As I said, its really a good refresher course. Through the day, I’m reminded of the me I was before I truly started teaching, the inspirations I had. I remembered the film, “To Be or To Have”, the play, “The Taboo Games of Youth” and Dr. Ng’s course. I remembered the line. “我们是教人，不是教书”. The nurture and values. And thinking back the last few weeks of school when I was rushing to finish the syllabus and preparing the students for ‘O’s, focusing on systems and methods and cramming as much info as possible into the students’ mind. The disappointment I felt when they were so much more interested in playing than studying… How much do we neglect and forget?

今天，庆亮说创作就是质疑。戏剧就是质疑。只有质疑才能打破惯性，才会有新的体会，才会学会珍惜。但，在进入教书后，我却忘了质疑，也忘了教学生去质疑。

Notes on today’s classes:

- Fox in the hole –fun! Emphasis on the changes, esp role changes
- Usage of the space and area, deliberate positioning and placing affects the environment. Something I neglect to use in both classroom and cca… how you place and position yourself do have an effect
- Most un/comfortable and powerful/weak position and place reveals yourself
- To heal psychology and understand pple’s psyche/reasons through drama- monologues, tableaux –sculpture feelings
- Sculpture through tableaux –> something that really can be used in essays- 1st Description -> from 客观 to 主观. Describing first objectively than subjectively. Builds their description skills.- 2nd 戏剧性/故事性 of the tableaux. 立体化. Adding lines and to think of the story behind. There’s lots of area for creativity. To give a line and shape and color of the unseen, eg. Vision, air- to go from 1D (Qns) to 2D (pic) to 3D (sculpture)- possible to get the students to do a tableaux from the essay qns and then to build stories from the tableaux? 以塑像诠释题目，再由塑像诠释故事, going thru the description and story- going from ICONIC (符号) to SYMBOLIC (象征) to METAPHORIC(意象) = scaffolding
- Web game (running blindfolded into a web of hands) – overcoming one’s own fears and self preservation instinct. To deal with one’s fear and to stand by your decision
- 希望教学：“我要…” – Idealism vs. Realism- used monologue and reflection again.内心独白 - one grp’s did a play on surface support and hidden agendas…互助变束缚　

- Prompt: 5W+1H

- Image Theatre

A lot of teachers really reflected at the end of the class. Can see that the class truly made a difference to a lot of our lives. Its not the normal workshop we go to when we sign up at trasci… and its not just the games that makes the difference.

Its been raining for the whole day today...

《发如雪》

《发如雪》，方文山的词。那天读阿萍的部落格时，看到一句“我焚香感动了谁”，触动我去找这首歌来听。没想到，是这么动人的歌。昨天去木船，明知这首歌难 唱，一时贪玩点了。民歌餐厅的歌手抱怨说唱了会吐血，但却唱得很用心，似乎比原唱者还好。原来只为歌词惊喜，但在那时却真的爱上了这首歌。

听说这首歌是先有词再谱曲。好久好久没看到这么好的词了。一首词，写得那么美，那么深情，那么传神。从那一句“我举杯饮尽了风雪”起，整首歌就染 了一层淡淡的沧桑。仿佛是一段牵扯了千年的恋，如今伊人早已云鬓生雪，不知是朝青暮雪或岁月留痕，总唤不回原来的红颜绝色。但早说过，弱水三千，只取一瓢 饮。在男子眼中，看到的依旧是那最初扎着马尾，无邪的脸蛋。只是几世轮回，这番坚持，究竟苍老了谁？是冤是孽，又有谁参得透这一个“缘”字？

而其实，一段月光涤清的回忆，又有多少真实多少梦幻？

整首词用的意象都带着一丝古意与无奈，梁祝化蝶、焚香祈月、醺酒度日、映镜愁发、碑文留誓。眼前浮现一位挽着髻的女子，一颦一笑都只为一个人。挽起青丝，挽不起情思。等待一生，换来一句“你若撒野，今生我把酒奉陪”，应该也无憾吧。

Drama course and notes...

Now Playing: 昨天 - 梁静茹

Just got in and falling asleep over the keyboard, but wanna write some notes about today’s course before I forget…

I found today’s course a good refresher course… after teaching for half a year, somehow, I forgot what it is like to be a student, the easiness of it, simply taking in all the teacher has to give, the joy of learning…

Actually, a lot of what is touched on today is stuff that we learnt back in the drama technique course in NIE, but of coz, there’s always something new to learn. 温故知新. To learn from revising the old. Plus the fact that I realized I actually forgot a lot of what I learnt back than… after been caught up in the daily grind of teaching. And Qingliang’s class is always fun, filled with games. All of us are teachers, and more than half teachers that have been teaching for more than a few years, but all of us were like kids again when playing the games…

Some notes on the games:

- Push/Pull – which do you like best? Trust issues
- 1,2,3 tongue twister – gets progressively harder with sounds and actions
- Angel/Devil – good for doing reflection on choice and prejudice
- 7 doors – erm, too loud. Not a good idea to do in class
- Blind guiding (stepping back and forth) – trust issues
- Seeking hand/Vampire – more blindfolded games. Not really suitable but good for doing reflections afterwards
- Tableaux/Image – solo and multiple, very workable on training creativity and observation skills
- Image construction/modeling (line up in 2 rows) – good for training observation skills and memories. And kids will love it for the chance to sabotage friends as we did today!

Tableaux is a very good idea which I remember making a note of back in NIE, but forgot all about when I started school. Hm… pictorial image would also be a way to work it in. Kinda similar to the changed ending idea that I did, except this will be using visual stimuli instead of words.

Qingliang touched on the issue of edging in which I found thought provoking. A lot of times, I find myself making subconscious decisions to stay in my comfort zone instead of taking steps to change the environment around me… hiding instead of facing… hmm…

Praxis: Action + Reflection. Too often, language lessons focuses too much on reflection without action…

K, that’s enough of the course… Met JX after the course today and we went to the Ark for dinner. The Monday group turned out to be a pleasant surprise. The vocal instructor that I went to check out was very impressive. Its not so much his technique which was good, but the fact that he sings with genuine feelings….it makes one really sit up and listen when he sings… Also, there was a female singer that actually knows all the folk music that I asked for and almost sang every single one of my requests :p The group has a lot of chemistry as well and works well together. Not to forget, the company was wonderful as well : ) Its always lovely to meet up with Jx…. he really gave me a shock when I saw him all dressed up for his interview. We are so different from when we first met all the way back in jc… all the changes and different stages of life… We don’t meet all that often any more due to work and life commitments, but he remains the only guy friend I’m totally comfortable with; somehow, we’ve been through so much and seen each other through the years… He’s someone I know would understand me no matter what decisions I make and someone I know who will still be my friend no matter what changes in my life… And he had some great news today as well! Congrats again : ) You deserve it and I do hope all goes well for you.

And now, as someone reminded me… I have to wake up at an unearthly hour again tmr… so its off to bed…

Upcoming stuff...

Now Playing: Good Night - Emi Fujita

The upcoming week is another busy one… with 3 full day courses from Mon to Wed on drama technique. Starting at the unearthly hour of 830am. A reason why I really should go to bed when I finish this entry. Now old liaoz… can’t do late nights without repercussions. Not that that’s stopping me…

Back to school again on Thursday for the last few details for the China Immersion Trip. Have to figure out a way to inform all the kids to come back on Thurs. Seeing how I left the contact list in school, it seems to be an impossible task. Except I have one of them on my msn list. (And I just missed him!) Now to cross my fingers and hope he comes online tmr.

Haiz. I’m flying on Sat and I haven’t done anything to prepare yet. Bags unpacked, Currency unchanged, necessities unbought. I’m such a very bad example. And I have activities lined up every single night for the remaining five nights. All planned to end around midnite except for Pilates and dinner with Xuan on Thursday.

Which reminds me, my last pilates class left me with aching muscles that screamed at me that regular classes are a necessity. God, 3 weeks of missing class is something I should never repeat. But I’m going to miss 4 straight classes after this week! The class after that is not a class I’m looking forward to….

And not to mention the NYC trip. Flying the very next day at 4am after I land and I still squeezed a play in between. My dad thinks I’m better off doing hara-kiri. Lew came back on Mon to plan the trip. I managed to find salsa clubs and a workshop to attend in Cambridge as well. P says he can make plans to be in NYC on the 4th itself as he’s doing a interview in NYC on the 2nd anyway. The tentative plans look good, now to find a time to cash my usd check.

Managed to catch up with this incorrigible brother of mine as well. He leads a way more interesting life than I do! I envy his free and easy uni life…Of all my past years, the uni years were definitely the best…

Bought 5 cds recently in a mad cd-shopping spree… Includes a 4-cd salsa set which gives me no excuse for not practicing at home. Also bought Corrinne May’s cds, was recently introduced to her songs and I love her heartfelt lyrics and simple melodies. The feelings just seems so real and the lyrics rings true. Also bought a Chinese folk singer 2-cd set. Originally wanted to just pirate the cds off Shuhui who said she’ll be buying them and I wasn’t so sure I’ll like all his songs. (just wanted that one song). But in the end, decided to just show support for the local folk music scene. After all, his efforts in upholding the Xin Yao spirit is worth the support.

And now… iTunes is playing “Good Night”…. Even my music collection is telling me to sleep…

“Now’s the time to say good night… good night, sleep tight….”

Talks, musicals and films...

Now Playing: Beneath a Rowan Tree - Emi Fujita

I seem to keep digressing! At this rate, I won’t ever finish this update.

Ok. Must stick to the topic. My recent activities.

Went to two academic seminars. The first was by Anthony Yu on religion and politics. For the seemingly uninteresting title, it was turned out to be quite fascinating, esp the Q&A in the end when Prof Yu got quite passionate. The topic brought back memories of the Buddhist text studies module I did back in my honours year. The lecture was chock-full of info and thought-provoking. In comparison, Prof Yuan’s lecture Classical Poems and Life was more relaxing as it was aimed at the masses but no less inspiring. I really miss academia… the lectures, the mind-exercise and the pure scope and area of knowledge… Will have to keep an eye out for more of these lectures in the future.

Next, my films and musicals!

Went to two musicals. First was A Twist of Fate with Dr. Lin. My mom was commenting on the unlikely friendship one builds with one’s prof. But Dr. Lin and I really hit it off. We never seem to stop talking whenever we meet up and we have similar tastes. She also learnt salsa and its such a pity that ATOF ended so late and we couldn’t go for social. The musical was incredibly fun though with all the funny plot twists and turns. The ending was certainly unexpected althou cliché when one thinks back. My favorite song was the one between Emma and Richard, althou Emma Yong and Ah See’s couple was hilarious as well.

Also watched Theatre Practice’s Lao Jiu with my mom who had the advantage of understanding the background and speaking the dialect. Went in without expectations becoz Lew gave it such a awful review. But I liked it. The male actor for Lao Jiu was cute and not a bad actor. My 1st row center seat allowed me to catch all the fleeting expressions. I admit, the actors aren’t great singers and even the lyrics could be better. As a musical, its not really up to standard, but still, its not all that bad. The plot was moving and had me in tears at one point when the Dad expressed his hopes whereas Lao Jiu expressed his unhappiness of being trapped. Enjoyed all the comic parts as well. Lew was even more critical when we talked about it, but as long as I come out from a play knowing I enjoyed myself and took some thoughts away, I would think it was a good play…

Will be watching Rent this Friday with Nekko. Now that’s one play I’m really looking forward to. Esp with all the trouble I went into to change the tix after Tuesday’s show was cancelled!

Also caught two films. The first was Cold Showers. A French film which was… hm…different? The ménage a trois scene was erotic…but the film itself overall was well crafted and deftly executed. The male protagonist was esp. good. The complex feelings a teenager has and the troubles one faces at the point of life was all subtly expressed… The way he went into the relationship and the jealousy and anger he had later… the regret and hunger… it was all so true and real. I only didn’t like the part at the end when he broke down in the dressing room… that seemed slightly overboard…

The next film is naturally HP/GOF! Caught it on the very first day, sneak preview, with Sher. We couldn’t wait another day :) I can’t imagine watching HP with any one else. No one would be able to understand our language! We were grabbing each other at the impt h and d scenes. And the scenes and relationships we highlighted and gushed on was definitely not what other people would expect. Watching it with another one else would be so much less fun and fulfilling. I liked the film althou it seemed like a fast-forward version of the book and a waste of all the good sets. Hope that the dvd will come out with a whole slew of deleted scenes incorporated in. And god, the kids are growing up on us! Dan Radcliffe is so hot. And Cedric is way better than I expected. The chemistry between the actors are tangible. Emma Watson is a whole new person altogether. But I still dislike Ron.

Also wanted to watch Saving Face with Shufen coz a friend strongly recc-ed it. Made the date with Shufen only to discover that its no longer showing! Argh! Why??? Now I can only wait for the dvd... does anyone have it???

Procrastination and Friends

Now Playing: All that I Need - Corrinne May

ok. I've established the fact that I can't work. Supposed to write up a lesson plan today, but after spending the entire day at home... I haven't written a single word. Argh. Sometimes I don't know what's wrong with me. I have all the info on my fingertips, but I juz can't get up the motivation. Is it becoz my subconscious don't want to work on a Sunday? Hm. So I spent today as I spend a typical Sunday… slept late. Went online and messed around. Went on msn for the first time in months. I got the salsa videos of the workshop I did in oct last nite and I bought a salsa cd recently, attempted to teach my mom some basic salsa steps coz I’ll be bringing her along for salsa social nights in NYC and Boston. Had a lot of fun :) Didn’t manage to do social this Friday coz the musical ended late so the practice is good.

Since I can’t work, might as well continue with the update. Hm. On social, I only managed to do it once in the last two weeks! That’s not very good. Went with Yee Pern and he brought his gf along! Haha…he finally got himself attached with a girl willing to take him in. Am happy for him except that he only told me 4 months after the fact! But he made it up by introducing us today. Both of them learn at ADS and somehow our styles are very different. But its still fun :)

Been bringing different friends to the Friday social nights…But I missed a few Fridays and will be missing the next one too due to Rent. I really should do more to practice else by my next salsa class in Feb, I’ll be utterly useless. I only recently realized how many of my friends do salsa. Going with Weifen to Xenbar next Wednesday, a new place for me. Wonder how it will turn out. Hopefully, there won’t be as many smokers as Union Sq.

Haven’t seen Fen for a year now. Met up with Xiaogua on sat as well with her boyfren. Also haven’t seen her for a year! But it was as if it we only met last week with the rate we chatted non-stop. That’s the beauty of old friends I guess. We know each other so well, the time doesn’t matter anymore and it just seems to stop for us. Feelings don’t change and our inner personalities and quirks remain the same. Its like how Lin can go into Macs, call me and ask me what I want, and when I said nothing, she hangs up and orders nuggets instinctively, knowing that I only eat the nuggets in macs and that I only said nothing becoz I had something on my mind. The comfortable feeling on being with an old friend…. Some things just don’t change…especially friendship built up over years… can’t believe I’ve known some of these people since I was 6… the way I don’t have to be anyone else but myself when I’m with them… I just feel so blessed…

Recent Life...

Now Playing: Everything in its Time - Corrinne May

The past week has been activities-filled...plays, talks, films, dance and music cafes...

A short record...

Been going to the Ark quite often... went with Gabriel, Shuhui and Yijing the first time. Two different group of friends?! Called Gab and Shuhui and didn't expect both of them to agree readily. And Shuhui asked Yijing along and Gabriel originally wanted to bring another guy friend. Made me feel like I was matchmaking! But it turned out quite fun, Gab always mixes well even when he's meeting new people. Within the hour, he was spilling my deep, dark secrets, git that he is :)

Went down to sign up for vocal classes, my new year resolution of making myself as busy as possible. But we did enjoyed the tuesday group. They were pretty good although they had the curse all folk music singers have of making awkward jokes. They had a good repertoire and actually know most of the songs we asked for which is new. Usually when Shuhui and I go to music cafes like Music Dreamers, we can’t get more than half the songs we ask for coz we always ask for the obscure ones that they never heard of before. But this group actually do know a lot of the folk songs and even know the sbc themes! Not bad. Tuesday is a good nite to visit the Ark. That was also the last week the Ark would be at their old site at Apollo Centre and I’m glad I managed to catch at least one night at this place.

Went next Thursday again with XP coz she wanted to support her instructor. The grp wasn't as good though her instructor was good. For one, this group is one that again doesn’t know more than half the songs I asked for. Another was probably becoz it’s a new location and the system wasn’t set up properly yet. Will be going down again on Monday with JX to catch the other vocal instructor. Hope the system is set up properly by then. Looking forward to seeing JX as well. He’s taking the time out from studying for exams to meet up with me before I fly off.

Eh, this isn’t all that short. Will go do some work now and do the others later.

streaks and scribbles...

Now Playing: Let it Go - Corrinne May

Always had a notebook with me for scribbling since I was a kid, or I would scribble on scrap pieces of paper everywhere...

I do have a journal elsewhere for entries that are more.. hm... well thought out? But I hardly have any time for well-thought entries anymore... so decided to set up a journal for scribbling short records of my life and streaks of odd thoughts... hence... streaks and scribbles....

润物细无声

星期六听了袁行霈教授的《古典诗词》讲座，谈了许多词句，其中都是一些极好的名句佳词。但不知为何，脑海里只记得浅白的《春夜喜雨》中一句“润物细无声”。

《春夜喜雨》一诗，我教文史课时曾教过。记得当时，也没花多少时间。教的也多属技巧，谈的是诗眼，用词的恰当与传神。内容，只简单带过，因为一读即了。

但，这几天，却一直反复想起这一句，和袁老师的那一句感叹。“润物细无声啊，润物不难，但要做到细无声，却不容易。”

其实是最简单不过的道理，只是知易行难。记得，我在和学生讨论《春夜喜雨》这一个题目时，问他们，题目中最重要的一个字是什么。聪明的学生马上回答： “喜”。不错，一个“喜”字，带出整首诗的感觉。但，我却忽略了“无声”这点，把重点放在了受益者身上，忘了施福者的默默付出。

人，往往如此。其实，很多道理我们都懂，但却在日常生活中忘了。不由得对自己的遗忘感到失望。但也记得，我曾跟学生说过，尽管我们也许做不到，但我们也要知道，真的有这么真，这么善良的人存在，因为这是一个希望。对人，对生命的希望。

真的，有人是“润物细无声”的。

《金枝欲孽》

刚刚看完三十集的《金枝欲孽》，心里有些怅然若失。戏中人的聪明与悲哀，刻画的似乎就是每个女子的命运。皇后、如妃、尔淳、安茜，个个都如此机智，但千计算尽，所谋的，却并非她们心中所想要的。到头来，却都显得如此悲哀与无奈。

人，其实再聪明都好，只要看不清自己心中真正想要的，做得再多，再好，都没有用。可惜，又有谁能真的看透？原来，并非聪明人好。追求一生，到底求的是什么？墙内墙外，又有什么分别？

10月31日终于过了，自己终于能够稍微喘一口气。休息一下。但，前些日子真的太忙了，现在忽然松了，竟感到十分不自然。从8月开始就忙着改卷子，期中、期末到模拟考，一直没停过，现在忽然无需熬夜改卷，竟然反而不想睡了。人，真的爱自虐。

人活着，要开心，真的很难。但还是要尽力，不是吗？

安排了一系列的节目，包括看电影，话剧，跳舞，和朋友叙旧，还买了一大堆书等我吞噬。年底还有雪景和平的疼爱等着我，务必让自己在忙碌的工作袭来前，能有多开心就有都开心。

其实，归去时，回首向来萧瑟路，也无风雨也无晴。一切，又何必太在意？

心念·心变

好久没这种恬静的感觉了。带了一堆卷子，呆在一间小小的，明亮的咖啡馆内，一边批改，一边吃。选了一个靠窗座位，闲闷之余，便抬头观看往来的人群，晒晒日光。一天下来，发呆的时间比批改的时间多。但真得很舒服，因为时间是属于自己的。

仿佛回到了学生时代，在北京的时候。那时，经常自己带了功课，独自躲到一间自己喜欢的咖啡馆，就在哪儿呆一天，名义上是为了找个安静的角落读书，其实，发呆的时间总是比较多。

日子，在自己的掌握中。

想念，但却不知道究竟想念什么。往日的悠闲？自主？清纯？不知道。只知道，我最近，一直在想念着一些什么，却捉摸不着。

我们回不去过去的岁月了。终于有了这份认知。那日，碰到一个高中同学，十分开心，上前打了招呼后，却发现两个人，竟然已毫无话题。是谁变了？还是，只是岁月？

工作已没有什么开心不开心。就是来了，就做。不再愿意放下太多感情。有时忙碌了一天后，什么也不想。 往日的理念，与其说忘却，不如说沉淀了。

人，都要变的。但，可否不让我知道？

rushed...

School’s starting again and I’ve not prepared anything! So what else is new…Back home for a week and New York seems like a long and lazy dream… 4 weeks just blinked by…

Touched down on Sunday night and I’m back to school on Monday morning to prepare for the Bicultural Course that the students didn’t want to attend. But it afforded me my first “close” contact with my form class, they seem like quite a happy-go-lucky bunch, very vocal and mischievous, the boys coming up to me to ask if they can skip the 2nd day of the course because “its so boring!” and the girls laughing at how I cannot remember their names and have to ask them repeatedly whether they have taken their attendance or not. But upon reading the reflection letters they wrote for their poor performance in their mid-year, their sunny appearance seems to be hiding a lot of underlying resentment… the pressure and lack of motivation adding to their stress…

I don’t know how I can help them, being so inexperienced that I often can’t catch what my responsibilities are as a form teacher, thank goodness I’m surrounded by so many helpful teachers that often take the trouble to explain what I’m supposed to do in detail after they made the official announcement. And that’s just the admin stuff, I don’t know how I can help them in the way they need me too…I just hope I won’t let this class down…

Spent the days in school and the nights in town for this last week of holiday, caught up with a couple of friends before school work whirls me away and caught 3 films too.

Monday was the hilariously funny Korean My Boyfriend is Type B with Lin, had a very relaxing time with the de-stressor movie and calming company. Girl, we have to meet up at least once a month no matter how busy we are ok? Being with you is a necessary therapy for me…

Wednesday was the strangely erotic Eros, a 3-short-films-in-one movie that I very much did not understand. Watched is with Shufen and I’m really very apologetic about the movie choice. Wong Kar Wai’s film was still ok, his nostalgic style unmistakable, but the remaining two has a very weird tone to it that wasn’t very enjoyable. But it was wonderful to meet up with Shufen after the long break, except that I was too tired to hold up my end of the conversation after the first day of the course…

Thursday was the moving Be With You or いま，会いにゆきます, a very sweet heartbreaker with breathtaking shots of sunflower fields and the most adorable little boy ever. The courage it takes to embrace love, despite knowing inevitable death lies ahead. Caught it with Mei who sadly isn’t as touched as I was, the pragmatic girl she is. She’s the one that always brings me back down to earth when my head is still in the clouds.

And the weekend arrived and it’s back to the books, as the whirlpool that’s my job takes me away once more… might not surface until the September holidays…